If I vowed to never contact Allison again, my heart would break. I also know that getting to know her and having to tell her the truth would absolutely shatter it. So, I am inevitably going to get hurt. I vowed I would never let myself hurt again.

Fuck.

I take one last drag of the cigarette before rolling down the window and tossing it out, deciding to get out of the car at last.

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Once inside my condo, I collapsed onto the leather couch, holding my head in my hands. I looked at the clock and saw that it was now 1:30 am. Glancing down at the phone number and email written on my hand in beautiful feminine script, I got up immediately to transfer the information into my newly charged phone before it faded away.

I had an intense urge to email her right then and there but decided that would come across as strange. I also have no job information to give her, which is supposed to be the reason for emailing in the first place.

Dummy. So, I nixed that idea and instead decided to text Karyn the lie that I received an email about the New York trip being post-poned a week, suggesting that we have dinner tomorrow night, since I’ll be in town.

I entered the bedroom, taking off my clothes that now reek of smoke and walked 140/727

into the master bathroom to turn on the faucet in my large walk-in shower.

I got in and willed the hot water to wash away these feelings of agony.

The one girl you can’t have Cedric, is the only one you want.

Thanks to all the tension built up tonight, though, my thoughts quickly turned impure as I closed my eyes and imagined Allison naked here in front of me, wearing nothing but my handwriting on her breasts.

I grabbed the shampoo and roughly stroked myself to release the tension that has built up all day and conclude that I am screwed.

CHAPTER 9

ALLISON

Do you feel like a new person today, Gemini? Something has grown back, and unless you’re a reptile with a new tail…that probably means that some part of your soul has woken up from a deep sleep.

When the alarm clock sounded at 5-am, I felt like even though I had barely slept, I was more alive than I had been in months.

It took me a while to get to sleep last night because I couldn’t stop smelling my hands and thinking about him. I sniffed them until every last drop of Cedric evaporated.

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The sight of the sun rising through my bedroom window was bittersweet.

It’s Tuesday and I have to be at the diner for the breakfast crowd at 6:30. I hur-ried out of bed, ran to the bathroom to pee and as I sat on the toilet, I looked at the now fading writing on my hand, the only proof left that Cedric wasn’t a dream.

I snuck a peek into Sonia’s bedroom on the way to the kitchen and saw her mop of red curls hanging over her pillow, her shallow breathing evidence that she was sleeping soundly. She must have come in really late, sometime after I fell asleep.

The coffee machine I set to brew last night made its last bubbling sounds, telling me the java was almost ready. I grabbed my favorite mug (It said ‘Dy-no-mite’ and had a picture of J.J. from the show Good Times.), plopped two teaspoons of sugar into it and poured in some cream and coffee. Taking my 143/727

first sip, I jumped, startled by the sound of footsteps behind me and turned around.

“Oh no ya don’t! You didn’t think you were gonna sneak out of here, without filling me in on last night did ya…you little hussie?” Sonia hoarsely yelled and groggily wiped her eyes, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Well, I didn’t want to wake you!” I laughed

“So…what happened with Cedric?” Sonia was chomping at the bit, pulling out a chair to sit, taking a first sip of coffee cringing at how hot it was.

“Ohhhhh….Sonia.” I sighed. I didn’t even know where to begin shaking my head and closing my eyes.

“Oh my God. Shut up! You have that look. I know that look. Did you sleep with him?”

“Sonia!” I shouted. “Of course not!” I suspected my face was beet red.

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“Ok. So…what happened?” Sonia laughed, leaning toward me in suspense.

I sat down at the table across from her and relayed the entire story from how he arrived at the diner just in the nick of time to the conversations on the ride home. I was running late, so I had to give her an abbrevi-ated version, without missing any of the important details like the subtle hand squeeze.

Sonia sighed. “I am gob smacked, Al…this guy sounds too good to be true. Did you ask him if he has a girlfriend?” I shook my head. “No, the conversation never got personal in that way.” Of course, I wanted to know. “He never went there, so I never asked him either.” I was so curious as to whether he was available. I felt such a connection with him.

It was scary how quickly I developed feelings for a total stranger. It was so much more than his perfect looks. It was the look in his eyes when he talked about his sister. It was 145/727

the way he seemed affected when I told him my mother had died. It was the way he looked at me when he let go of my hand, like he didn’t want to. It was the way he looked at me like he could see through me into my soul. It would break my heart if there were never a chance of experiencing anything more than last night. I didn’t know if I could survive without a taste of him.

“Allison. You have to let him know you’re interested. Guys are stupid sometimes. And a guy who looks like that probably has a million women hitting on him.

He’s not going to bother with someone who seems complacent or who plays hard to get.

It’s 2013…it’s ok for the woman to make the first move, like I did with Tom.”

“I am sorry, Son…but I am not making the first move here. He said he would email me that contact information. If I email him first, it’s going to seem way too desperate,” I said.

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“Well, why don’t you just email him just to thank him for the ride home?” Sonia suggested as she got up and put her coffee in the microwave.

I dumped mine in the sink because I was running late. “Sonia, I’ll catch up with you tonight and we’ll talk more. I’ve got to run, I am going to be late.” I rushed out of the kitchen and threw my uniform on forego-ing a shower since I had taken a bath last night.

*** By the time I got to the diner, I realized I was ten minutes late. As I walked in, the breakfast regulars were already there and I was relieved to see that Delores had a good handle on things. She grinned when she saw me and called me over to ask how last night went. Apparently, Sonia had sent her a text 147/727

that I was alone with Cedric after I called looking for the credit card.

I gave her an even shorter version of the story as she listened to me, her eyes popping out of their sockets with interest, while I filled small containers with sugar packets.

Wedding Bell Blues by the Fifth Di-mension was playing on the overhead and I couldn’t help this giddy feeling I was experiencing. I felt alive. I took orders with enthu-siasm, chatting up customers more than usual. I was giddy for a man who I wasn’t even sure was single.

I couldn’t shake this amazing feeling that came over me today. I felt that he wanted me last night. I could see it in the way his eyes seared into mine.

*** Right around 1:30, I checked my phone and saw that I had three new emails 148/727

on my Yahoo account. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I saw the third one was from Cedric. I clicked on the email and it seemed to take forever to load (of course).

Allison Ophelia,

It was nice getting to talk to you last night. I spoke to my mother this morning and she gave me three contacts you could try at the agency that provides Callie’s services. It’s called Bright Horizons. The main office is ironically based in Malden, where you live, but they provide services to most of the Greater Boston area and nearby suburbs.