Jake is everything I could ever want in a brother. He helps out with the twins too and has turned into quite the tattooed

“manny.” Holly, in particular, has taken a special liking to her Uncle Jake.

Ed continues to be in remission and he and Elaine purchased a summer home in Dennisport, on Cape Cod to be able to spend more quality time with us. Ed is able to work remotely from there for his consulting job.

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Cedric, the twins and I spent most weekends this summer down there. Ed and Cedric like to fetch quahogs and we often steam the clams for dinner, which we’d eat on the candlelit screened-in porch while listening to Jimmy Buffet on low volume, as the babies slept upstairs.

Denise gave birth to a baby boy named after Cedric’s father, Paul. They call him Pauly and his middle name is Cedric. I am excited about my daughters having a cousin so close in age and I am sure they’ll be wreaking lots of havoc together, like Caleb and Cedric did when they were younger.

Even though I had to stop working with Callie, she’s still my favorite girl and refers to the twins, her nieces, as ‘Teletub-bies’. (She’s watching that show on her iPad now as a matter of fact, as she gets her hair done for the ceremony.) She’s still as in love as ever with Anderson Cooper.

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Cedric and I moved from his condo to a single-family house in the Boston suburb of Brookline. He was promoted to senior agent at J.D. Westock and tries his best to make it home by 6:00 each night, so that I can study in between breastfeeding the girls. I can often be found sandwiched between two heads on a Boppy pillow.

We had decided on a late August wedding and wanted to wait until after the twins were born, so that I could at least try to squeeze into a presentable dress. I had lost about half the baby weight and very voluptuously managed to squirm my way into my dream Pnina Tornai dress which I picked out with Elaine and Bettina at Kleinfeld in Brooklyn before the babies were born.

Wanting to keep it simple, we opted for an outdoor ceremony with only our family and closest friends. After scouting lots of scenic areas, Cedric and I found the perfect spot by the water in Newport, Rhode Island.

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*** The milk spots dissipated just in the nick of time. As the soft sounds of the harp played in the summer breeze, Ed reached out his arm.

Before taking it, I looked up to sunny cloudless sky and blew a kiss to my mother and sister in heaven. I hoped they were watching over us.

Ed’s eyes were watery and he kissed me lightly on the cheek. “Honey, thank you for letting me be the one to walk you down the aisle. I am so honored. Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you too,” I said shaking.

“You’ll be fine.”

“Dad?”

“Yes, Allison?”

“Do you feel like she’s here?” 716/727

Ed looked up to the sky and then back at me.

“She is here,” he said pointing to his heart and then to mine. “She’s right here, always.”

I smiled, though a part of me still wondered if Amanda would really be okay with my marrying Cedric. It was the one thing I would never be sure of.

“Okay, let’s go,” I said, clutching my bouquet of pink roses.

The wedding march started and I entwined my arm with Ed’s.

As I slowly marched down the aisle, floating past the faces of all the people I love standing in the sunlight, gratitude overcame me.

Thank you God for the life you’ve given me.

And then I looked straight ahead and he took my breath away. Just like that very 717/727

first day, the most beautiful man in the world.

Blue Eyes.

Cedric was crying tears of joy as I moved closer and closer to him. What did I ever do to deserve to have someone look at me like that, with the intense love I see so clearly in his eyes?

I kissed Ed on the cheek and he shook Cedric’s hand.

“I love you,” I whispered to Cedric as he looked at me in awe.

“I love you so much…you look so beautiful.” He was beaming from ear to ear.

The priest began the ceremony amidst the beautiful background noise of our baby girls crying for food. My breasts immediately tingled and I could feel the milk rushing through them at the sound of twins crying in unison.

Just a few more minutes, baby girls.

Father Mike started the vows.

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“Cedric, will you have this woman asyour lawful wedded partner, to live togetherin the estate of matrimony…” Cedric lovingly said ‘I do’ and after a minute passed and in the middle of my turn, just as Father Mike asked, “Will you love him, honor him, comfort him, and keep him in sickness and in health…”, a beautiful butterfly landed on the pink rose boutonniere Cedric wore.

It stayed still, facing me as if it were part of the ceremony.

Cedric looked down and smiled. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I was. I couldn’t be sure.

After I said ‘I do’, amazingly the butterfly moved from Cedric’s rose to the skirt of my dress.

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It stayed there fluttering its wings and I glanced down at it from time to time as Father Mike spoke.

“Cedric and Allison have consentedtogether in wedlock, and have witnessed thesame before God, this company of friendsand family, and have given and pledgedtheir promises to each other, and have de-clared the same by giving and receiving aring, and by joining hands.” As soon as Cedric and I exchanged rings, the butterfly flapped its wings and landed on top of our joined hands.

Cedric’s hands started to tremble a bit and I realized he knew what I was thinking.

Was it Amanda?

“In the name of the Lord and by theauthority vested in me by the state of RhodeIsland, I pronounce this couple to be united 720/727

in marriage. Cedric, you may kiss the bride.”

The sound of ocean waves crashing filled the air and we kept still as the butterfly remained on our joined hands as we kissed for the first time as husband and wife.

Just as our faces parted to the cheers of our family and friends, the butterfly flapped its wings, disappearing into the sky above.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First and foremost, thank you to Allison, to whom this book is dedicated. Your constant encouragement and ‘anything is attainable’ attitude are what motivated me to finish it. Gemini started out as your bedtime story. You are a true sister in every sense of the word.

To my parents, for their lifelong love and support. You are the best role models anyone could ever ask for and I would have never had the courage to write a book if it weren’t for your ingraining confidence in me early on.

To my grandmother in heaven, I carry you with me in my heart and look for you in butterflies.

To my husband, for working so hard and not totally laughing at me when I said I was writing a book.

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To Sonia, for her friendship and for being my “smut book” buddy. I knew my book would be good, as long as you enjoyed it.

To Angela, for your unbreakable friendship and for always making me feel, just from watching all that you accomplish professionally, that I should be getting up off my butt and doing something more.

To Tarah, for telling me way back when, that I needed to write a book and for providing the precious journal in which I started this story.

Special thanks to Kim York for print-ing the first hard copy of the book and serving as the designated editor.

Last, but not least, to my daughter and son. Mommy loves you and thanks you for your patience while her head was in the clouds.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Penelope Ward grew up in Boston with five older brothers. She spent most of her twenties as a television news anchor, before switching to a more family-friendly career.