But when I turned to him, he lowered his fingers and shifted his attention out the window. I stared at his profile for a second, breathing hard.

"It's pretty," he said, more to the windshield than to me. I wanted him to lift his hand again. I wanted him to touch my hair.

"I think yours is prettier."

He laughed. "Guys do not have pretty hair."

"Well, yours is."

125

The Stillburrow Crush

by Linda Kage

I reached over and touched his hair. I thought maybe if I touched his, he might get the guts to touch mine. But at contact, I gasped.

"It's so soft."

I ran my fingers through the part that always curled around a cowlick when it got wet. I scooted over, leaning across the console between us.

"Carrie."

His voice sounded strained so I looked down. I hadn't realized I'd moved so close. But when I gazed into his face, we were only a breath apart. I was positioned a little above him so I could reach his hair. He lifted his face up to stare at me. His eyes were a blazing blue.

That's when he touched my hair. He drew his fingers through the curls to cup my head. Then he tilted his chin to the side and pulled me down. I was shocked when our mouths connected. He was kissing me.

Oh my God, Luke Carter was kissing me.

I didn't even think to close my eyes. Of all the times I'd imagined my first kiss, I never thought it would take me by surprise like this.

I stared at his face for a second, unable to move. And then I realized that maybe I should participate a little. I felt my lips soften and my lids slide shut. My hand rested on the side of his neck, and I kissed him back...and felt it all the way to my toes.

At that moment, I discovered where all of my erogenous zones were because they all became inflamed. It was like a tingle but with a hundred times the voltage. Luke's mouth slid 126

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sideways where his lips could be more accommodating. My ears buzzed. I thought I might blow a fuse with all the wattage flowing through my veins. When his tongue entered my mouth, I jerked back.

I don't know why I did. I hadn't wanted to put a stop to the kiss. This was my big moment. I was steaming up the windows with Luke Carter. But the shock of his tongue had knocked me flat. I hadn't been prepared at all. Not that it was bad. It was wet and warm and would have ended as the best kiss I was sure I'd ever have. Yes, it had been great, right until I'd messed up and jerked away.

I scuttled back to the passenger's side, banging my elbow on the gearshift as I fled. I still couldn't believe I'd pulled away from him. Pressing my back against the seat, I stared out the front window at the horizon, feeling like the loser I was.

The day was turning to dusk and the sunset was spread before me in a fierce glowing-orange-and-pink masterpiece. I wanted to soak into its wonder and appreciate the full beauty of that descending sun, but my throat was closing and my heart was sprinting, making my breathing, and in effect all thinking, too difficult to manage at the moment. I wondered what was going on inside Luke. What did he think of me? I'd started this by touching his hair and practically crawling into his lap. What other way could a healthy teenage boy react? It wasn't me—it was just the situation that had prompted his actions. Right?

I wanted to glance over and see how he was responding, just peek at his face. My eyes burned as I focused on seeing 127

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him out of my peripheral vision. I couldn't chance the thought that Luke could possibly be interested in me, Carrie Paxton. He'd just met up with a moment of insanity and...and kissed me. That's all.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with a coarse regret. See, he hadn't meant to do it at all. But with my doubts confirmed, tears smeared my vision and the sunset blurred. I nodded.

I wanted to say, "I'm sorry," too. "I'm sorry I pulled away. So come back here and finish what you started." But I couldn't say that. A thick silence stretched across the interior of the car and filled it like a deadly vapor, almost smothering us to death.

Luke sighed. It was a long, solemn sigh I felt all the way to the pit of my stomach. I saw his arms reach out and rest on the top of the steering wheel. Behind us, a car passed on the dirt road leading back to Stillburrow. I looked back just in time to see the blue truck hurry by.

"That was Marty's truck," I said. I pressed my hands deep into my lap.

"I saw."

I glanced over at Luke then. His hair was still mussed from where I'd touched it. My fingers started to tingle, remembering the texture of each silken strand.

"I guess they're finished, huh?"

"I guess." Luke closed his eyes and rested his head on the backrest. I saw him swallow.

"Maybe you should take me home now." 128

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I said it timidly, but by the way it had Luke's head coming off the rest and his blue eyes narrowing at me, you would have thought I'd shouted it.

"What are we doing, Carrie?" he whispered—almost hissed. I shrugged. It seemed useless to point out that of the two of us, I had the least experience in this department. But Luke seemed to realize it soon enough and turned his head away with a bitter laugh. He leaned forward, set his feet on the clutch and the brake and turned the ignition. The car came to life, roaring under us. Luke stayed leaning forward. His head bowed a little as if he was straining to rest his cheek on the steering wheel. "Your parents are probably wondering where you are."

All I could do was shrug. "They won't be worried yet. I'll just tell them I was at the library." He turned toward me with a probing stare. "You don't want them to know you were with me?"

I made a face by squinting my eyes, silently saying, Heck no, I'm not telling them. "It'd just make them think we were dating or something."

"What if—" He stopped talking so abruptly I had to probe further.

"What if what?"

He shook his head and slid the car into first. "Nothing."

"What?" I insisted.

He lifted a hand to stop me. "I said it was nothing." I zipped my mouth shut. I wanted to ask what his problem was but I was sure I already knew. He was mad at himself for kissing me. I stared out the side window and acted like I was 129

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pushing the hair out of my face when I was actually rubbing the moisture out of the corner of my eye with my palm. We took the country roads back to town. When we hit the city limits, I tried to duck down. But after a sharp, "Don't," from Luke I pulled myself back up. The windows were tinted anyway. No one would see me. Probably.

"You can drop me off here," I said, as we approached the corner where he could turn to head home. Luke only shot me a dirty look, at which I slumped down saying, "Or not." If he'd been a cartoon character, steam would've been rolling from his ears. I'd never seen him so ticked. When he pulled to a stop in front of my house, he didn't look at me.

"So," he said. "See you at school." My throat was jammed up so I could only nod. I grabbed the door handle, then remembered the whole purpose of our ride. "Oh! I almost forgot."

I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a lump of folded paper. Luke glanced over. When I tossed it into his lap, he frowned at me and cautiously picked up the bundle.

"That's all the feedback I received from putting your poem in the paper."