The question that came out of my mouth wasn’t intentional. I swear, but all these fears that lurked in the recesses of my brain hadn’t gone off to die overnight. A part of me still needed their protection, I guess. “So why did she bring your cut to the shop and say you left it with her?”

“Who the hell knows. My best guess, she was just tryin’ to be a bitch and wanted an excuse to check you out since you were stayin’ with me.”

This sneaky, creepy sensation flooded my stomach with some form of dread…

“You’re the only girl I’ve ever taken home, Ritz. Guess she was jealous I shot her down the times she brought it up.”

I was going to throw up and Dex’s face was my target.

That's it? That's what I was going to get? A stinking confirmation of the times in his past that she’d wanted him to take her to his place but he hadn’t?

I guess that's all I genuinely needed and wanted. Did I want details? Hell no.

Hell. No.

Okay, maybe a tiny, sadistic part of me wanted something but that was stupid. Whatever I learned could not be unlearned. No thanks.

I was strong enough to accept the role Dex had carved out for me. He'd told me more than enough times his feelings in a vague but powerful way. I needed to quit being a baby and embrace that. Accept that I knew him better than any other person. Could that be enough for me?

It had to be.

He squeezed me to him, tight. “But you don’t gotta worry about anything. There’s only a few things I’ve ever given a shit about. Everything else...is seasonal, as Ma would say.” He pressed his mouth to my temple, whispering, “Then there’s you.”

Swallow, Iris. Breathe, Iris.

I was swallowed whole by emotion. By this terrifying thing that had to be love because it hurt as much as it soothed.

Lifting my knees up higher, I shifted on his lap until I could look him in the face better. His expression was tight. Wary. Maybe even a little worried? So, he wasn't a virgin. Not anywhere close to it, but that was a fact. Dex was who he was and I got a small part of him just for me. I wasn’t going to ruin this by hanging on to the past. I didn’t want it to win.

I bet no one else got to see his spare bedroom of comic stuff. Iris 1, Hookers Pre-Iris 0.

I bopped the tip of his nose with my finger. "Okay."

He blinked those dark gem colored eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

The grin that crept up over his mouth was better than Christmas morning, and the kiss he gave me afterward somehow topped that.

“I guess I should be grateful you don’t have three ex-wives running around trying to take you back, huh?”

He rolled his eyes, the creases in the corners of his eyes getting more pronounced as he smiled wider. “Ya think?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how to fight. If it came down to it, I’d have to use my keys on their faces or bite off a chunk of somebody’s ear,” I told him with a grimace.

The laugh that erupted out of him had the remaining Widows turning around to look at us like the sight of Dex laughing so loud was a UFO sighting. I swear one of the younger ones, a prospect, looked a strange mixture of scared and baffled. But I was so amused by Dex’s response, I just sat there watching him with a huge, stupid smile on my face. What else would I want to look at?

Once he finally got himself under control, Dex pulled back just enough to roam his gaze over my face. I probably looked like a wet rat taco but I didn’t care when the expression on his face was so calm and focused.  And when the corner of his mouth did that sneaky little tip up. “You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, you know that?”

"Hey lovebird, you want a smoke?"

One of the older Widows sitting opposite of us chuckled, holding a pack of cigarettes in his weathered outstretched hand.

Dex shook his head, and the what-the-hell expression on the older man's face was priceless.

"No?" the Widowmaker asked incredulously.

"She doesn't need to be smellin' that shit."

The man frowned, his eyes switching back and forth between me and Dex. "You allergic or somethin', Rissy?"

Rissy. Ha.

I shook my head, smiling at him. "No. You can smoke here, I'll go find Dean or something."

The legs beneath me bounced again. "She had cancer, Lee. She doesn't need to be around that secondhand smoke and shit, makin' things worse."

What the hell?

I turned my gaze over to Dex slowly. He was waiting for it though. He looked like he was ready for me to challenge him, to get upset with him for spilling the beans he'd just found out about.

And it wasn't like I hadn't already caught him looking at my arm each time he had the chance, teeth gritted and all.

"What? It's true. Everybody's seen those commercials about how many people die from secondhand smoke a year. You aren’t gonna be riskin' yourself," he stated solidly. Dex tipped his face closer to mine, whispering, "This is family now, Ritz. You don't have to hide shit from anybody."

Lee, the older man, choked before I had a chance to process Dex's comment. "You had cancer?" He sat back in his chair, his thin legs falling open. "Fuck me. You're a goddamn kid."

"It was a long time ago," I clarified, giving Dex a nasty look.

My comment didn't help whatever was going through Lee's head because he ended up running both hands through his hair with a huff. "Well, shit." With a quick glance over at me, he shoved the pack of cigarettes into the front pocket of his vest. "Nobody smokes around you. You hear me, Dexter? No smokin' around Rissy."

This was my family? This wiry old biker that I'd spoken to maybe one other time in my life, was making demands on my behalf?

I had to curl my lips behind my teeth to stop myself from smiling like a total idiot.

Dex let out a sharp laugh. "Got it, old man."

"Old man my ass," he snipped back mindlessly. Lee dragged his hands through his hair again with a groan. "Fuck. Cancer? My sister died from cancer in her ass. That shit runs in my family." He turned his attention toward me, eyes wide. "Can you get tested for that or somethin'?"

I caught Dex giving me wide, amused look out of the corner of my eyes. "Well..."

Thirty minutes later, Lee had got off his chair looking way too frazzled. I think I'd scared him. But when he promised to visit his doctor for the first time in five years, I didn't feel so bad about it. Prevention, prevention, prevention.

"You ready to head home soon?" Dex asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. Let me get dressed, and then I want to tell Luther bye."

He squeezed my shoulder and let me up, passing me the shorts and shirt I'd had on earlier.

I said goodbye to a few people that were around, especially Lee, but didn't see Dean raising hell anywhere. Damn it. I liked that kid.

Luther was standing in his kitchen with a few others when we made our way out. I wasn't that affectionate with people I didn't know well, and Luther was one of those. But I couldn't help but give him a quick side-hug when we were close enough.

"I just wanted to tell you thanks for helping to look for my dad," I told him discreetly, taking a step back into Dex's space.

He didn't seem like the type that smiled often. The rough lines of his face told a story about a man that had been in a biker club before it had gone legal. A man that had lost someone he loved because of a collective of mistakes.

But this man was also Trip's father. He had to have some of that idiot's heart.

The crinkle in his eyes confirmed that for me. "Sweetheart, I did better than that for you. My buddy spotted him yesterday."

Chapter Thirty-Three