“Yes. It’s one of the only four tables Andy gave me to start with today,” I answer, and he slides into the seat. He raises his eyebrows and gestures toward the seat across from him. I shake my head. “I can’t. We just came off a break.”
He grabs the menu from the end of the table. “So, what’s good here?”
I pull my pad and pen from my back pocket. “Burgers seem to be really popular today.”
Xavier folds the menu and says, “I’ll take three of them and a water.”
I lift my brow as I write that down and repeat the same question I’ve heard Quinn repeat all day. “Okay, do you want some pink or no pink in your hamburgers?”
“Some pink, but I don’t need anything on them, including the buns.”
I laugh as I think about what he ordered last night when he took me to the diner. “All part of your bulking diet?”
He smiles, and I swear my knees grow a little weak. “You’re a quick learner. You don’t need a job, do you?”
I tear a sheet off the notepad and stuff it back into my pocket. “And work for you? No way. Besides, I think I’m going to like it here.”
His large hand drapes over his heart. “That stings, beautiful. I thought we were becoming such good friends.”
“We are friends and I want it to stay that way, which is why I could never work for you. I have a feeling you’re a diva, and I’d be suppressing murderous tendencies before the week was over,” I tease.
He smirks. “I’m far from a diva.”
“You say that now, but I think having two people constantly working for you makes you seem a little needy. So, like I said, DEE-VAH.”
“If you worked for me, I promise you’d like it, and it’d be a whole lot more fun and lucrative than the little service gig you’ve landed yourself here.”
I think about the fifteen dollars in tips Quinn has shared with me sitting in my pocket, and the minimum wage that’s wracking up on the clock, and I can’t help but be curious. “How much more?”
“The PA position pays fifty grand a year,” he says matter-of-factly. “And if you want the job, it’s yours.”
Oh, that’s tempting. Working with Xavier every day, getting to stare at him as much as I want while I get paid well for it—that’s a single girl’s dream job. It sounds perfect, but I’m sure that’s what Deena thought when he offered her the same position…right before she slept with him. And look where that got her. I can’t allow that to be me.
I won’t allow that to be me.
I slide the slip of paper between my fingers to distract myself from staring into those baby-blue eyes of his. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think I can.”
He drums his fingers on the table in front of him, and it’s almost as if he read my mind because he asks, “Is it because of Deena?”
My gaze jerks up to meet his. “No.”
The corner of his mouth pulls down into a one-sided frown. “It wouldn’t be like that between us, you know.”
I twist my lips. “Is that what you told her when she started too?”
For some strange reason the thought of him with another woman causes a painful burn in the pit of my stomach, and I can’t stand looking at him a second longer.
I turn to walk away, but his hand darts out and grabs my wrist, holding me in place. “I would never treat you like that. Deena knew what she was getting into. She knew there would never be anything real between us, and she chose to give it up to me anyway. Our agreement with one another was crystal clear.”
I flinch. “So that makes it okay?”
“She consented, Anna. I never promised her a wedding ring.” I can hear the defensiveness in his voice.
“But you’ll promise me one?” The question leaves my mouth so quickly, it even surprises me.
He lets go of my hand. “A ring is something I’d never promise anyone. I’m not the marrying type.”
I know it’s stupid, but the small hope that had built inside of me that something between Xavier and me would eventually happen—no matter how much I fought it—just got crushed to smithereens. I know he’s a player, and even Quinn says the tabloids link him to dating several women at the same time, but I can’t snuff out this stupid connection I feel with him. But if it’s never going to be serious between us, I wish he’d just leave me alone and quit tormenting me with the idea that he might actually see me as more than just an easy lay.
I swallow hard, attempting to steady my voice. “I’ll have your food out to you as soon as it’s ready.”
“Anna…”
I don’t turn around because I know if I look at him, I’ll crack. Knowing you’ll never have something you really want is a terrible feeling, and something I wouldn’t wish on my own worst enemy.
8
Anna
After working eight hours, and standing up pretty much the entire time, my feet are on fire, I’m exhausted, and I lay my head back against the headrest as Quinn drives us home.
“It’ll get easier, you know—the more you do it. Your body will adjust after a week or so,” she tells me.
I sigh as I finish counting the tip money that’s in my lap. “I hope so. It seems like so much work for fifty dollars in tips.”
“I told you that I’d share the money X left. I still can’t believe he left a five hundred dollar tip. That guy has it bad for you.” She waggles her eyebrows. “What happened between the two of you, anyhow? I thought you two were getting along after hanging out last night?”
I shove the loose strand of hair that has fallen fom my ponytail behind my ear. “I don’t know. We’re friends, I guess, but—”
“You’re so horny for him it clouds your judgment?”
“No!”
Quinn rolls her eyes as she turns onto the next street. “Oh, come on, Anna. This is me you’re talking to. It’s okay that a man—a mighty sexy one, I might add—turns you on. I don’t see how you’ve gone this long without allowing him to ravage you. He obviously wants to.”
I pinch my bottom lip between my teeth. While I don’t want to admit exactly how much I think of him doing that very thing to me, she’s right. Even after he’s made it perfectly clear that there would be no long-term future for us, I still can’t believe I’m entertaining the idea of giving into Xavier. I just don’t want to get hurt.
“I see that look,” Quinn says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I grimace and shake my head. “I don’t have a look.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Yes, you do. And I’m telling you right now, Anna, you’ve got to learn to let go of all of those preconceived notions that sex is bad. The entire world is not going to judge you for wanting X. Hell, half of the world wants a piece of him for themselves! Be young. Have a fling. He’s sex on a stick!”
“Quinn!” I scold her.
“No, Anna, fuck that. I want you to admit to not only me, but yourself, out loud that it’s okay to want to have crazy, premarital sex with a bad-boy.”
“What?” I ask, completely flabbergasted. “Who tells someone to say that kind of stuff?”
She grins as she pulls up to the curb in front of her house. “A best friend, that’s who. Now say it.”
“Quinn—”
“Anna, so help me, if you don’t grow a pair of lady nuggets right now and admit out loud how you really feel, I will ship you back to Uncle Simon tonight.”
“This is so ridiculous,” I huff.
She folds her tan arms across her chest. “Do it, or we are not getting out of this car.”
“You’re relentless.” I pinch the bridge of my nose as I sigh. Might as well just give in. “Fine. I want to have…”
She gestures for me to continue. “Crazy…”
“Crazy, premarital sex with a bad-boy. There, I said it. Happy?”
She shakes her head. “Say it one more time with feeling, and admit that you want that bad-boy to be wrestling’s sex god, X.”
I rub my face. This is freaking painful, but I know she won’t give in until she wins. That’s the thing about Quinn—she never gives up if she believes she’s right.