“It’s who I am. It’s who I’ve always been. I’m just finally letting you see it.” He closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
“N-no it’s not.” I pressed my lips together in a firm line when I realized I was playing into his hand. I couldn’t be the victim with Colin. I couldn’t show weakness.
“Little Orphan Annie.” He tucked my dampened hair behind my ear, and his tone made me shiver. “I had you all wrong as well. Look at you. Just another druggie slut like all the rest.”
My anger rose as the defiant streak inside me decided to show. I tilted my chin up toward him and straightened my spine as my hand slid behind me and gripped the gun. “I’d rather take my chances out there than be held captive by another monster.”
He pulled back, smirking as he looked over me. “That’s what I am to you?” He laughed sardonically, and I knew I had offended him, but I didn’t care. “I’m more like your God, the center of your tiny little world. You should be on your knees begging for my forgiveness right now, you ungrateful little bitch.” His words came out in a hiss, and he seemed to have had a break from reality.
“I think Amanda has that covered.” Anger coursed through my veins, fueled by hate and carried by the naïve belief that Colin cared enough for me not to hurt me. But this wasn’t the Colin I knew. This version predated the boy who’d risked everything to save me.
“Annabel…” His vacant blue eyes glanced over my shoulder at the fogged glass behind me before settling on mine. “You really should learn when to shut that pretty little mouth of yours.” His thumb skimmed over my lower lip, pulling it down fractionally, which seemed to distract him momentarily.
“I’m not scared of you, Colin,” I said through clenched teeth.
He slid the palm of his hand down my throat to my collarbone, his fingertips running over the strap of my tank top. “Why is your heart racing?” His fingers moved down my ribs, and my lips parted as my head began to spin. He continued his painfully slow path over my hip bone and around to the small of my back, leaving goose bumps in the wake of his touch and pulling my body against his. It was only then that I realized how much he enjoyed this evil side of himself. His fingers covered mine as he grabbed the gun I had gripped in my hand. Leaning down, his lips brushed over the shell of my ear. “We both know you’re not going to shoot me, so you might as well let go.” With my cheek pressed against his and our bodies interlocked from our power struggle, it was causing every nerve ending in my body to hum.
“I hate you,” I whispered as I loosened my grip on the gun, and he slowly pulled it from behind me.
“No you don’t, little one. But you should.” He turned and walked up the stairs. I was breathless as I leaned my weight against the door. What in the hell had just happened?
I was frozen, unsure of what to do next. My world was crumbling around me, and I had no idea whom to trust. I could still feel the ghosting of his fingers running over my body, and I squeezed my eyes closed, desperate to rid my mind of the memory.
That was when I heard a loud crash, and my head snapped up to the top of the stairs. I jumped on the first step but hesitated, not sure what was waiting for me. Colin had an unmatched temper, which I knew all too well. I took another step and another, my heart accelerating with each move closer until I was gripping the banister at the top.
Chapter 16 - Colin
I couldn’t think clearly. What started out as protecting Annie had taken a turn, and now I didn’t know if someone needed to protect her from me. One thing I knew was that Jacob fucker was lying to her, and I needed to find out how big of a threat he posed to her. Either way, the results would devastate her. I grabbed the dry sink and pulled it, causing it to crash to the floor and the glass decanters to break and spill open. The rage started in the pit of my stomach and radiated through every nerve ending of my body. It was exhilarating, freeing to let loose the monster that lurked inside me. I’d kept it dormant for far too long. I did it for her, but now she was slipping from my grasp, my gravity, and I was spiraling out of control into the unknown.
“Colin?”
My chest was heaving with anger, but I stilled at the sound of her voice, giving me a brief moment of clarity. Of course she was frightened. I’d practically molested her against the front door as I threatened her. What the fuck was wrong with me? How could I keep her safe if she was afraid of me?
“Can I come in?” she called out, and I shook my head, hating myself because I knew I had no choice. I knew I would let her in, and once she saw the real me, I would destroy her…enjoying every second of it.
“Please?” Her voice was breathy and the fear evident. I was still half hard from pressing her against the door, and now she was sending me over the edge of sanity.
“Come in,” I said, my voice harsh and low from my explosion of anger. She should know better.
The door opened, and her eyes danced around the room, taking in the carnage. The bed was the only piece of furniture left untouched. Her eyes met mine, but instead of fear, they were filled with sadness. Somehow that was worse. I sank down on the edge of my bed and hung my head in my hands. She took a few steps closer.
“Don’t,” I warned her, and she stopped abruptly. “I’m leaving,” I said as I struggled to calm myself. Maybe they would follow me, and she would have a fighting chance.
“You can’t leave. Who’s going to keep me safe?”
I looked up at her, my hands still suspended in the air. “Who will protect you from me, little one?” How could she not understand, not see the animal that was before her? She was the only person on the fucking planet who didn’t have that nagging voice inside her head telling her that danger lurked around the corner.
“You won’t hurt me, Colin. I trust you. Besides, what happens if Taylor comes looking for me?” Her eyes pleaded with me for a rational response, but there was nothing left.
“I’m going to find him first.” I pushed to me feet, determined to leave before I snapped and really did something I would regret. If you cut off the head of the snake, the body will die.
“You can’t do that.” She put her hand on my chest to stop me, searing my flesh beneath my shirt with her touch.
“You haven’t left me with any other choice.” I grabbed her sides to move her out of my way, but her sharp intake of breath paralyzed me.
“I’ll do whatever you ask. I promise. You can’t leave.”
I bent down, my teeth clenched. “I wouldn’t say that if I were you.” My gaze fell to her chest, and my fingertips pressed into the soft flesh over her ribs, suspended between right and wrong. Her breathing was as erratic as mine, and our lips were nearly touching, sustaining each other’s lives with the hope that we would give in to our carnal wants.
“I’ve spent my entire life trying to make sure you didn’t have to face our past.” It was my last ounce of strength as I struggled not to throw her down and commit unspeakable acts. But I was posturing, intent on convincing her as well as myself that I wasn’t hollow inside, that somewhere in me was a morally just human being whose motivations didn’t center on my own demented sexual gratification. It was all a lie. Every fiber of my being wanted her.
“Anything.” Her voice was breathy, and her eyes fell to my mouth as she spoke. I knew what she wanted, and my cock stiffened in response against her as she begged and pleaded for me to give in. There was never a question when it came to women, but Annie was different. I was able to find restraint in her perceived innocence, even if only momentarily, a fleeting second in time where her safety took precedence over my desires.