Olivia was asleep in her own bed by the time I got home, though, and had woken me before the sun rose this morning to the sounds of her screaming and throwing dishes across the kitchen. I’d wrapped my arms around her to stop her from grabbing for more. She responded by screaming at me not to touch her because I was a baby killer.

Olivia needed help, and I needed Kamryn.

I pulled into Kamryn’s driveway, frowning when I found her garage door open from the night before and the door leading to her house still unlocked. Shutting the garage door, I let myself in and jogged through her house, calling her name.

The sound of bare feet on hardwood met me before I saw her quickly turn the corner in the hall.

“Brody, what are you doing here? How did you get—”

Closing the distance between us, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her firmly before burying my face at the base of her neck. “I’m sorry. God you have no idea how sorry I am,” I whispered and ran my nose up her smooth skin. “Please forgive me. I know I fucked up, I just . . . I don’t know the right way to do this. I know what I want and need, and I know what I have to do. And I’m so fucking torn between getting her the help she needs and staying with you that I feel like there is no right way to go about it.”

Kamryn’s body was shaking, and it felt like someone had punched me in the gut when I tilted her head back and saw her wet cheeks.

“I can’t do this to you. I can’t ask you to do this.”

“What?” she asked breathlessly, her expression dropping.

“It’s not fair to you.”

Her blue eyes widened and searched my face before more tears fell. “What are you saying?”

“I won’t make you do this. You shouldn’t have to be in a relationship where it’s kept a secret, and—”

“Brody, stop!” Her hands came to rest on my arms, and she looked around like she couldn’t figure out the right words to say. “Last night was hard. God, it was so hard. I want to promise you that if that happens again I’ll deal with it better, but I can’t, because there’s no easy way to deal with something like that. We put ourselves in this position, though, and if that’s what we have to go through to be together in the end, then I’ll do it. But you can’t ask me to just give up on us because it’s not ‘fair to me.’ This situation isn’t fair to anyone, but we knew that going into this.” Kamryn’s eyes searched mine, and she squeezed my forearms. “Right?”

“Right,” I said softly, my lips tilting up in a smile as I looked at this amazing woman. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve her.

“If what you said last night was the truth, if you can promise me that one day we’ll be together, then I’ll go through hell for you.”

Leaning in, I pressed my mouth to hers and spoke against her lips. “I promise. One day we’re going to have our forever. Nothing will stop us.”

The kiss started off slow, but built quickly when she pulled me closer, her full breasts pressing against my chest. My hands slid from her neck to the top of her jeans, and I pushed her back against the wall as I unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down.

“Brody,” she whimpered when my fingers trailed against her heat.

“Tell me what you want.”

“You. Just give me you.”

Removing my hand from the confined space in her jeans, I moved her away from the wall and walked her backward into her room until we hit the bed. “Jeans. Off,” I ordered and stepped back to watch as she slowly pushed them and her underwear off and stepped away from them. “Now lie down.”

She sat on the bed and scooted back before lowering herself onto it, her blue eyes dark and hooded as she watched me push apart her legs and kneel between them. Letting my fingers trail against her wet folds, I pressed two fingers inside her, and a surge of need built up in me seeing her head fall back onto the bed as her eyes shut.

I needed this girl. I needed to make her mine. Only mine.

I opened her legs wider, baring her to me, and leaned forward to taste her.

“Oh, God!” she cried, and her hands clenched the comforter in her hands. “Brody, please.”

Smiling against her, I ran my tongue up her once more before sucking her clit into my mouth. I hadn’t realized Kamryn’s heavy breaths had suddenly stopped until I heard the voice.

“I’m actually on time today, so you better be ready!”

The sound of keys falling to the counter could be heard as Kamryn sat up and I jumped off the bed, her horrified expression making my heart race.

“Kinlee,” she whispered, and my blood ran cold.

“KC,” Kinlee drew out her name in a singsong voice.

“Shit. Fuck. You need to hide!” Kamryn hissed as she scrambled into her underwear and grabbed her jeans. “Go to the closet!”

I couldn’t believe I was actually going to hide in a closet like I was about to be caught in my girlfriend’s room by her parents, but I knew Kinlee couldn’t find out about us, not this way. Grabbing the back of Kamryn’s head, I pulled her in and kissed her roughly before quietly making my way toward the closet.

“Brat! Why aren’t you answering?” Kinlee’s voice was close.

“Sorry, Lee! I was . . . talking to Barb. Let me go to the bathroom and I’ll be out.” Kamryn bit down on her bottom lip, her worried eyes glued to me as she waited for Kinlee to walk into the room.

“’Kay, ’kay! I’m going to make some coffee to go.”

Kamryn exhaled, and her eyes shut in relief as Kinlee’s voice slipped deeper into the condo. After buttoning her pants, she walked quickly to where I was standing in the doorway to her closet and threw her arms around me. “I forgot she was picking me up today, I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“I know, have a good day, I’ll call you when I can.”

Pain covered her worried expression, and her hands slid around to press on my chest. “When do you think that will be?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted, and an unsettling feeling unfurled in my stomach. “Just know that every moment I’m not with you, I’m counting down the minutes until I can see you again. You’re all I think about, Kamryn, and I’ll do anything so I can see you again.”

She bit down on her lip and nodded resolutely, but it didn’t mask the sadness in her eyes. “Okay.” Taking a deep breath in, she started to leave, but turned back to kiss me soundly. “Until then.”

“Jesus Christ, how long does it take you to pee now?” Kinlee’s voice was back, and Kamryn stilled against me.

“There’s an extra clicker for the garage door in a drawer in the kitchen. Take it.”

I nodded and slipped into her closet as she walked toward her bedroom door, bending down to grab her Converses as she left.

“Shit, I thought I was going to have to send a search-and-rescue team to get you out of the toilet.”

Kamryn laughed. “You’re early, you can’t expect me to be ready for you when you’re not running an hour late.”

“Whatever.” Kinlee snorted. “Don’t judge me.”

I released the breath I’d been holding when their voices faded, and then waited for a handful of minutes after I heard the door shut before moving from my spot. Going into the kitchen, I searched the drawers until I found one full of random stuff and pulled out the garage door opener. But after what had just happened, I didn’t know how often I would be using it. That had been too close. Kamryn and I needed to find a place where something like this couldn’t happen.

Brody

May 29, 2015

DRUMMING MY HANDS on the steering wheel, I took a few breaths in and out before shutting off my SUV and stepping out. This time of year was always bittersweet for me. With Tate’s birthday came sorrow, guilt, and wonder at what could have been. Knowing that I was struggling with the grief worse than I did the rest of the year, my two closest friends from the Army were never far behind. No matter what was happening in their own lives and with their families, both Coen Steele and Keegan Hudson came here from Colorado to remember Tate. Well, and I’m sure they were making sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid.