“Hey,” he whispered against my shoulder, and I laughed.

“Hi.”

“We went about tonight backwards.”

“We go about everything backwards,” I countered.

“True.” Kissing my lips, he pulled us away from the door and walked us through the living area until we got to the bed. “How’ve you been, Kamryn?”

There was no way I could tell him the truth. That I couldn’t sleep since I was always fighting off a deep ache and grief not being near him. That I couldn’t eat because if I wasn’t losing myself in my work, or throwing everything I had into the times when I was with Kinlee so she wouldn’t suspect anything, I was killing myself thinking of a hundred different things that Olivia could be doing and saying to keep him . . . and then I would feel too sick to even think about putting food in my stomach.

No, I couldn’t tell him that.

He would see how much I relied on him. He would think I wasn’t secure enough in myself to be alone, or that I wasn’t secure in our relationship. I would look exactly like how I was acting. Young. Naive. Dependent. Needy. Weak.

I hated that I’d found a man whom I would give anything to be with, and now I was reduced to this seemingly insecure person.

Looking in his gray eyes, I simply shrugged and let my fingers slowly trail through his dark hair. “I’ve been okay.”

From the look in his eyes, I could see that he and I both knew that okay was an exaggeration of the last couple weeks.

“I’m sorry you have to go—”

“Don’t,” I pleaded and placed two fingers over his lips. “We knew it would be hard. Stop apologizing.”

“Kamryn . . .”

“Tell me something else. Anything else as long as you aren’t apologizing.”

“Okay.” A ghost of my favorite crooked smile crossed his face as he looked down at me. “Thank you for driving all the way up here to be with me.”

“Of course, Brody.” I grabbed the hand that was lightly brushing at my jaw and kissed his palm before intertwining our fingers. “But this hotel doesn’t exactly look like the kind of place you can pay cash for a room. Aren’t you worried Olivia will find out? I think my condo is safer than this.”

“I have a credit card Liv doesn’t know about, and I don’t receive the statements in the mail. I’ve had it for years to help us when she blows all our money. She’s never found out about it.”

My eyebrows pinched together. “Blows all your money? Does she do that a lot?”

“About twice a year.”

“Brody—”

“Babe.” He cut me off. “I finally have you again, I don’t want to talk about Liv. I want to order some room service and feed you because you look like you’ve lost weight since I last saw you. I want to make love to you slowly after. I want to spend time just talking to you. Then I want to have you coming again and again until you’re begging me to stop. I want to take a shower with you when we’re almost too weak to stand, and then finally fall asleep with you in my arms. But no Olivia, all right?”

I’d started to worry when he mentioned eating, afraid he’d somehow known what I’d been thinking only a couple minutes before. But as he laid out his plans for us for the rest of the night my worries left and a smile tugged at my lips. “’Kay.”

Brody

June 5, 2015

“BRODY, WAKE UP! She’s calling, wake up,” Kamryn said, leaning over my body.

My hands moved to her bare hips, and I pulled her down so her heat was pressed against my hardening cock.

“Brody, she’s calling.”

My eyes snapped open when the agonized tone of Kamryn’s voice finally registered in my mind, and I grabbed at my phone in her hand when I realized what she’d been saying. Kamryn scrambled off my lap and the bed, and as much as it killed me to have her body move away from mine, I was grateful. I couldn’t handle feeling her, touching her, and looking at the hurt in her eyes when I was talking to Olivia.

Clearing my throat, I checked the time before answering the call and hoped like hell I didn’t sound like I’d just been asleep. “Hello?” I answered.

“Where the fuck are you?” Liv hissed through the phone.

I panicked for a few seconds as I tried to think. It was one thing to say I was at Jace’s when I could easily get there, or when I knew for sure Liv was at home. But even though she was supposed to be at her parents’, she could be anywhere. She could have already driven past my brother’s house. “My buddies from the Army are in Portland for a couple days, I drove up here to have some beers with them and catch up.” I held my breath as I waited for her to respond, then let it out in a silent rush when she seemed to buy it.

“You think I care if those dumbasses want to see you? You’re supposed to be here! You’re supposed to be home, Brody!”

“I thought you were staying at your parents’ tonight.”

She paused for a few seconds before screaming, “What is that supposed to mean?! Do you just wait for me to leave, Brody? Is that what you want? For me to leave so you can go do whatever you want? You’re such a selfish bastard, Brody Saco!”

“Fuck, Olivia, stop yelling. I was just saying I don’t know why you always expect me to be home since you’re not there half the time.”

Suddenly, Liv’s anger was gone and was replaced by loud sobs. “I can’t do this anymore, Brody. I—I just can’t!”

A huge wave of relief and guilt for turning her into this person washed over me. I can’t keep doing this either. This is it. I just need to say the words. As I opened my mouth to tell her I wanted a divorce, she stunned me into silence.

“I need to be with Tate. I can’t keep living without him. I can’t keep living in the same house as a murderer. I need to be with him,” she mumbled the last sentence. “It’s time for me to go. Good-bye, Brody.”

“What? Olivia, no! No!” Before I even realized I was moving, I was off the bed and fumbling for my clothes.

“It’ll be better this way. I can be with my son, and I won’t have to live in fear of the day you kill me too.”

“Olivia!” I shouted, but my voice was strained. How can she say something like that to me? How can she put that on me like this? God, what the fuck have I done to make her into this depressed, paranoid, and suicidal woman? “Olivia, don’t! I’m on my way home. Don’t do anything, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

There was no response, and I looked down at my phone to see she’d ended the call.

“Fuck!” I roared into the room as I pulled my shirt over my head. Grabbing my keys off the desk, I ran toward the door, and skidded to a stop when I heard a muffled sob. Turning, I saw Kamryn standing a dozen feet away from me. One hand clutching at her bare chest, the other covering her mouth. Shit, I’d forgotten why I was even away from my house.

“Don’t go,” she pleaded.

“I have to, Kamryn, I’m sorry!” I took long steps back to her and reached for her, but she pressed a hand to my chest to stop me from pulling her in.

“You don’t have to. We don’t have to do this, Brody!” Fat tears rolled quickly down her cheeks, and my heart broke at seeing her like this again. “Whatever she said to you, you don’t have to go back to her. If you’re so miserable, then stay with me. Don’t go to her.”

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Fuck, she hadn’t even heard what Olivia had been saying. Of course, she didn’t understand, but I couldn’t explain Tate to Kamryn right now. Not when Olivia was about to commit suicide. I needed to leave. I might not have loved Olivia, but I couldn’t let her kill herself. “I do, you don’t understand, but I have to go. I’m so fucking sorry. I hate that I’ve said that so much tonight, but I’m more sorry than you know. One day we won’t be doing this anymore. I swear one day it will only be you and me. We’ll be past all this and we’ll have our forever, but right now, I have to leave.” Kissing her quickly, I turned and bolted from the room and ran to the elevators.