“And then he saved us. He also saved you again. On the roof. He didn’t have to do that.”

“Didn’t have to save a human being’s life? Who would?” he scoffed.

“Why are we even arguing about this?” I said. My pack was feeling too heavy so I put it on the ground. I hated fighting with him though I knew where it was all coming from. There was a lot of truth in Camden’s words and still a lot of resentment. Toward me.

“Because …” He sighed and turned away. “Because I can’t help it. I can’t stop thinking about … what we did.”

My lungs were definitely working overtime now, my heart feeling as if it were being squeezed by icy fingers. I didn’t like where this was going. Why couldn’t we get over this? Why couldn’t my heart stay intact for a fucking minute?

“What we did?” I asked carefully. “You mean when I fucked you in the bathroom? Or was it what I said?”

He gave me a dirty look. “Was that what it was to you? Just a fuck?”

“Oh my god,” I exclaimed. “What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me?” he repeated. His smiled coldly. “Excuse me if I have problems taking your words at face value.”

That fucking hurt. No, that fucking killed me, knife to heart.

Another hit of thunder slammed through the sky and in seconds the clouds broke open. Heavy rain pounded down on us, soaking us in seconds. The forest roared with the sound of raindrops hitting the leaves. Just perfect.

I didn’t even know what to say to that. My mouth fumbled for words, the rain streaming down my face. If I started crying he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

“Why can’t you just forgive me?” I pleaded. “I’m not lying, Camden. I’m being more honest than I’ve ever been.”

“How could you sleep with him so easily and then do the same to me?”

I put my face in my hands, trying to contain myself. I took in a shaky breath and looked at him. He was barely visible through the sheets of rain.

“I can’t take back what I did,” I told him, my voice raw, threatening to crack. “I have my reasons and you know what they are. I can only control what I do from now on in. I slept with you because I love you. I told you the truth in that bathroom. You can decide to forgive me or not, but it’s not my problem anymore if you don’t. I gave you my heart. You have it. You should know you have it. If you can’t find it in yourself to give me another chance then that’s your problem. Stop punishing me for the past when the only thing we have is right now!”

“I’m not punishing you.”

Oh, that did it. I stormed over to him, nearly slipping in the mud and shoved my hands against his wet chest, pushing him back a step. I was unable to contain the stream of words that had been dying to come out. “Now you’re the fucking liar here. You’ve wanted me to suffer the minute you found out about Javier and I. And you’ve been doing a bang-up fucking job about it. You think I don’t hate myself already for what I’ve done? Now I just hate myself even more because every time I look at you I see a man that once loved me, a man whose love I should have believed in, should have had faith in and I didn’t. So I lost that love and I lost you all for nothing! All because I’m a stupid, scared little girl with scars on her leg that never deserved anything good in her life and who believed it. Now for the first time, I think I might be better than I thought, better than I ever gave myself credit for and you’re the one who won’t let me believe it.” I blinked hard, trying to control the tears. They stayed put but the pain in my chest was unbearable. “You told me I was good, Camden. I know you want to believe in me but you’re stopping yourself. Why can’t you just love me again?” I grabbed his face with my hands, his skin slick from the rain that continued to fall steadily. “You own my heart. Please let me have yours.”

He closed his eyes, his lashes dark and wet. He breathed hard, his mouth open. I kept my hands on his face, trying to hold onto him even though I felt him slipping away.

“I don’t want to love you, Ellie.”

All air left me. I was nothing inside but bones and blood. I was hollow, scooped out, unlovable. Undeserving. I was dying in the jungle, holding on to the one with the knife.

A small sob escaped me. His eyes flew open, a blue ocean of pain. He swallowed hard and put his hand behind my head, staring at me with stark determination. “I don’t want to love you, Ellie, but I do love you. I can’t stop myself. I’ve been trying to since the moment I saw you with him. You broke me, you broke my fucking heart.” He closed his eyes again and rested his forehead against mine, our noses pressed against each other. “You broke me into so many pieces that I didn’t think I could find myself again. And I’m so damn scared, I’m scared just like you. You’ve always been my love Ellie Watt, since the very beginning. Since the moment I saw your face, your beautiful young face on that hot dry day. You were water for my soul. You made me feel like I had another half, someone else who understood what it was like to be unwanted.”

Oh Jesus. I was melting in his hands.

He gazed at me, so close, rain drops hanging from his lashes. “But the pain … oh please, I can’t go through that again. I look at you and I see him and I just want to see you again. I want to know that this can work. I want you and I to go home and become a home. I just want my heart to be safe in your hands because yours is safe in mine.”

“You’re safe with me,” I told him, my voice choking up. “Camden, you’re safe with me.”

I kissed him, wet and slick and his fingers pressed harder into my face. I pulled back and whispered, “Please believe that you’re safe with me.” I stroked his lower lip with my finger. “I gave you pain and I can take it away, if you let me. If you let yourself love me.”

His eyes went soft and dreamy for a few moments before they flared with a wild hit of lust. The look made my blood hot. He placed his lips on mine, drawing out a deep hard kiss, pressing himself into me, his tongue warm and feverish against mine. He moaned, the vibrations sinking into my core, heat radiating between my legs. Inappropriate, once again so fucking inappropriate.

But fuck it.

And fuck him. Literally.

“Camden,” I murmured into him, wanting him right there in the rain, his body and soul and heart.

He went for my neck, his tongue swooping up just behind my ear, licking the rim then sliding back down my jawline. He grabbed my hair hard with both hands, tugging sharply, and looked me dead in the eyes. He was all fire and hard angles.

“I love you,” he said, his voice gruff. “And I’ll have you. Keep you. Own you. You belong to me, only to me, from now on.”

Feather-soft butterflies swarmed my heart, filling me with beauty and light and all that was good.

“Until the waves crash at our feet,” I said softly as his full lips pressed at my cheek.

“Beyond that,” he whispered. “Beyond the ocean and the world and the stars. You’re mine beyond that, baby, and I’m yours.” His hands suddenly dropped to my jeans and he swiftly unzipped them, slipping one of his long, skilled fingers down past my hair until it found my clit, swollen and ready. Steady hands, indeed.

“And now, I’m going to make you mine. I’m going to make you forget you’ve ever been with anyone else. I will own you from the inside out, with every hard inch of me.”

With his dirty mouth and his deft fingers, I nearly came right there. Camden wasn’t messing around. And now I would have his body and his heart. I would have him, all of him, every corner of his beautiful soul, every part of his hard, strong frame.

He began swirling his fingers around, dipping down into me.

“Christ, you want this,” he murmured as his fingers pushed in, my wetness soaking him to his knuckles. I gasped at the intrusion, then grinded myself into him.

“I always want this,” I said, kissing him, the frenzy building up inside of me. “I always want you.”