He was my everything and the very thought of him not trusting me –him not talking to me, was too painful to think about.

It hurt even more when Ashley and Caroline called me to tell me about the latest care packages he’d sent, how they’d spoken to him every day last week.

“He told us your first date was on the Golden Gate Bridge! Why didn’t you tell us that back then?” “We reminisced for hours, you should’ve heard us!” “He’s being pretty tight lipped about the wedding lately...He probably has a surprise for you...” “Could you tell him to call us via video chat tomorrow night? And tell him we said we love him since we’re going to be out of range for the rest of the day?”

I scrubbed a loofah all over my body and decided to cut my bubble bath short. I needed to go for a run. Now.

I slipped back into my robe and picked up the room phone.

“Fairmont Front Desk,” a woman answered. “How may I help you Mrs. Statham?”

“It’s Miss Gracen.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Gracen. How may I help you today?”

“Do you all have a gift or a clothing shop downstairs?”

“We do ma’am. Our gift shop features city collectibles and snacks, and our clothing shop is a mix of swimwear and light season gear at the moment. Would you like us to shut the shop down so you can shop privately?”

“Oh...No, that’s okay. I was just wondering if someone could bring me a tracksuit in a medium size. Just place it on my room tab.”

“Right away, Miss Gracen.” She waited for me to hang up first.

I pulled my hair into a messy knot and splashed my face with cold water to get some of the redness out of my eyes. If it wasn’t for the way they looked, I could’ve passed as perfectly happy right now.

Before I could begin my next series of cold-water face shots, there was a knock at my door.

I made sure my robe was secured and rushed over to open it.

“Good evening, Miss Gracen.” The bellman handed me five black wardrobe bags. “We weren’t sure what color you would like so we brought each one.”

“Thank you very much.” I handed him a tip.

“There’s an indoor runners’ park two miles down. Would you like one of our drivers to escort you there since it’s raining?”

“No, that’s okay...I’m just going to go for a short walk...I have an umbrella. Thank you very much though.” I smiled as I shut the door.

I didn’t care that it was raining. I needed to be outside with fresh air. Besides, I didn’t feel like being around other people. I wanted to be alone.

I slipped into the tracksuit and put on the tennis shoes Greg had brought me earlier in the week. I grabbed my favorite umbrella and my music and looked around for my room key.

Suddenly there was another knock at my door.

Deep down I wished it was Jonathan, but I knew the front desk was probably delivering another set of flowers late, so I dragged myself to the door and opened it.

Ryan?!

“Claire, can we please talk?”

I slammed the door in his face and turned away.

I realized the door must have bounced back because I suddenly felt him walking behind me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I snapped.

“Please listen to me...” There were tears in his voice. “Claire, can we...Can we please be civil for five minutes?”

“We’ve gone from five seconds to five minutes? Please.” I tried to walk past him, but he put his hands on my shoulders.

“She doesn’t want to die knowing that you still hate her...” He narrowed his eyes at me. “You don’t have to mean it...You could just say you forgive her.”

“All bullshit aside, Ryan.” I gave him the meanest look I could manage. “Five years ago, I would’ve wanted to die happily married to you. But we don’t always get what we want, do we? Tell her to suck that shit up, or better yet, why don’t you have one of her friends suck you off and then she can feel exactly how I feel.” I left him seething in the living room and rushed into the adjoining room—where another door to the hallway was.

I unlocked the chain at the top of the door and pulled it open. I ran towards the elevators and texted Greg the number “9”—code for emergency. I pressed the down button frantically, hoping a car would come before Ryan found me.

“You were never this mean, Claire.” He rounded the corner. “What happened to you?”

“I guess some people bring out the worst in you. Is it really surprising that a low-life cheating fuck would make me behave like a bitch?”

He narrowed his eyes at me and strolled over, pushing me against the wall by my shoulders. “If you want to be a cold-hearted bitch for the rest of your life, and if you want to marry that asshole of a man you call your fiancé—that’s fine. But what you’re not going to do is disrespect me. I’ve had you—before him, and I know who the fuck you are. You’re coming with me to see Amanda whether you like it or not. Now.”

I tried to fight him off of me—beating my fists against his chest and trying to knee him, but he held me still and changed the tone of his voice.

“Claire...Please just—”

“Stop fucking talking to me, Ryan!” I was crying angrily. “You’ve done enough!”

“Five minutes...You can’t give her that?”

“NO!” I took a few deep breaths and tried not to scream. “I have a brand new life now and I don’t need you or Amanda in it for any longer than you’ve already been. You are both fucking scum and her being in surgery doesn’t change shit about what you two did to me. Just lie to her and say I forgave her, just like you lied to me. It shouldn’t be that hard for you.”

“Listen...” He suddenly released his grip. “I know you don’t honestly feel like that.”

I slid past him and ran towards the emergency stairwell, hoping that he would just give up and leave me alone.

I made it through the door and was halfway down a flight of stairs when I felt him grabbing my arm—twisting it harshly.

“Help! Helpppp!” I screamed as loud as I could, but he didn’t seem fazed at all.

Instead he squeezed my arm even harder and pulled me close to him. “I’ve changed a lot in the past few years...” He looked possessed, and he was really hurting me. “In ways you can’t even begin to imagine, Claire. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but—”

I brought my other arm up and slapped the shit out of him.

His eyes darkened and he hissed. Shocked, he let me go and pushed me away from him—hard.

I tried to brace myself against the wall, but I couldn’t. I lost my footing and felt myself quickly tumbling, tumbling, tumbling—until I felt sharp pains all over, until everything went black.

Chapter 16

Claire

“Miss Gracen?” A soft voice said. “Miss Gracen? Can you hear me?”

I groaned and slightly opened my eyes, shutting them once a bright light seeped in.

“Do you know where you are?”

I kept my eyes shut. I couldn’t speak.

“Could someone get me a fresh IV?”  “Leave the monitor alone please.” “Did she have a cell phone when she was brought in? Anything else besides her ID?”

There were clicking sounds and annoying beeping noises that seemed to get louder and louder with each second.

I felt a sharp piercing pain in my right arm and forced my eyes open to see a nurse pushing a needle into my skin.

The soft voice that had spoken before, spoke again. “You’re at St. Francis, in an intensive care unit. Okay honey?”

She asked me more questions—something about how I was feeling and if I was seeing in color, but all I could do was wonder about what the fuck had happened.

The last thing I heard her ask was “Can you feel this?” before everything around me went black.

“Miss Gracen?”  That familiar soft voice woke me up.

I nodded and opened my eyes. This time I was able to keep them open and actually see the woman I was speaking to: A petite brunette with a bright red headband and a matching nametag with hearts around it—Doctor Phillips.