“Let me finish...” I felt him clasping my hands in his and I almost broke down. “As crazy as this may sound, the feelings I have for you are feelings that I’ve never felt for anyone else—not even my ex-husband...” I jerked my head away as he leaned in to kiss me. “But I recently realized that...It’s hard for me to explain but—”

“Try me.”

My voice cracked. “I knew from the moment that I started dating you that this was going to end very badly for me.”

“It doesn’t have to end at all.”

“It doesn’t have to continue either. I don’t want to—”

He forced his lips onto mine and kissed me until I couldn’t breathe, murmuring against my mouth. “I love you, Claire...And I need you...Stop acting like this...”

I broke away, panting, making him look more confused than ever.

“This is only the second serious relationship I’ve been in throughout my entire life and I think that’s part of the problem...When I was married to Ryan, he used to—”

“Your ex-husband is an asshole who never fucking deserved you.” His face turned red. “Don’t you dare compare me to him.”

“My point was that—”

“That you don’t want to be happy.” He dropped my hands. “That me loving you doesn’t matter because you don’t love me. And I was okay with that, because I could wait. Because I know you’re stubborn and everything in your world is black or white, right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate. Fine. I get that. But you must not have been paying attention to how things operate in my world, because you’re out of your damn mind if you think that weak ass excuse you just gave me justifies a break up.”

He brushed a hand against my cheek and softened his tone. “I’ll be at your house at seven tonight. After dinner, you and I can have a real discussion about what’s been going on with you. Whatever it is, we can—”

“I thought you said you’d do anything to make me happy.”

“I did. And I meant that.” He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. “Whatever you want me to—”

“Let me go. And don’t follow me.”

He sucked in a breath and clenched his jaw. “No.”

“That’s what I want...” I murmured, not sure if he’d even heard me.

“If you had any idea what I felt for you... If you could feel exactly how much you mean to me...” He paused and I saw the veins in his neck begin to swell. “You wouldn’t dare ask me to do that...”

I stared at him for several seconds, wanting to say “You’re right...Let’s just forget this ever happened and make love to each other,” but I couldn’t do it.

“You letting me go and leaving me alone would make me happy.” I rushed the words out of mouth, trying not to notice the pained expression on his face. My bottom lip was quivering, and even though I’d been trying my hardest to hold back tears, I felt a few of them slipping down my cheeks.

“Is that what you really want?” His heartbroken eyes stared into mine and his voice sounded hoarse. “For us to be over? Just like that?”

“Yes.”

He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled. For the first time since I’d known him, he didn’t look like he was calm and in control; he looked completely powerless.

He reached around me and twisted the doorknob, slowly pulling the door open, looking at me like I’d just crushed his soul. “Bye.”

“I’m so sorry, Jonathan...I just think that—”

“Bye.”

I swallowed. I turned away from him and rushed down the hall, onto an open elevator. I pressed “lobby” and prayed that the doors would shut as soon as possible, that he wouldn’t follow me and squeeze in at the last moment.

He didn’t.

I was free.

Chapter 25.5

Claire

Eight weeks ago...

I walked into Dutchman’s, a small gift shop on the eastern docks, and followed Ashley and Caroline around. They’d insisted on coming with me to help pick out a birthday present for Jonathan, even though they hadn’t met him yet.

We’d been shopping up and down the pier all day, but we hadn’t had much luck.

“If you would let us meet whoever this guy is, this would be a whole lot easier.” Ashley picked up a plastic fish and smiled. “Does he like fish?”

“A hundred boxes of sardines, maybe?” Caroline shrugged.

Ugh...“I’ll take a look around...” I walked towards the back of the store and stopped once I caught a view of the ocean from the windows.

“Breathtaking isn’t it?” An older brunette stood next to me and smiled. She was dressed in an all-white suit that perfectly complemented her thin frame, and her hair was neatly swept into a high bun. Her eyes were stark blue with light wisps of gray, and they looked slightly familiar for some reason.

“Very...” I said. “What do you do when it rains though?” I noticed that the window was broken and the coverings desperately needed to be replaced.

“Well, we’re getting a brand new window next week, but as far as the coverings go...I don’t know. We still want people to see the view, rain or shine.”

“You should get bamboo shades—not the yellow ones because they’ll fade after six months. Get the brown ones with the smooth finish; it’ll look more authentic and bring out the earth tones in this room.”

Her eyes sparkled and she reached out to shake my hand. “I’m Denise.”

“Claire.”

“Well Claire, I was thinking more along the lines of the basic, plastic white blinds because they’re dirt cheap, but I’ll keep that in mind if this place ever makes a profit.” She laughed. “May I help you with something?”

“I’m looking for a birthday gift for someone I’m dating and I’m not sure what to get him...”

“I take it that this man loves yachts?”

I nodded.

“Come over here to the front then, honey.” She led me to the counter. “Now, there are many things you could get a man who loves yachts, but if he knows his stuff, you have to get it right. How serious are you two?”

I blushed. “I don’t know... I—”

“So, pretty serious.” She smiled. “I have just the thing for that.” She disappeared into a side room for several minutes and came back with a pretty brown box, sliding it to me. “This is what you want.”

“Mini metal anchors?”

She burst into laughter. “No, dear. These are sea hooks. They symbolize that you’re in it for the long haul, that you are—figuratively speaking, anchoring his ship. You get them personalized however you want, and if he knows his yachts like he’s supposed to, he’ll have the hooks welded onto his ship’s real anchor. This will be perfect.”

I rummaged through the box of hooks and pulled out a few golden ones, running my hands along their pointy ends. “I’ll take them.”

“You’ll take what?” “What are those things, mom?” “You’re getting your boyfriend toy anchors?” “What type of guy is this?”

Denise shook her head. “There’s a logic behind it girls, I promise. How would you like them personalized, Claire?”

“Well...How about my name on the bottom of the hooks and his name on the side corners?”

“Sounds great.” She took a pen from behind her ear and wrote on a pad. “And what is your boyfriend’s name?”

“Jonathan.”

“Oh! I have a son named Jonathan. It’s a great name!” She laughed. “Write down your number so I can call you when they’re ready, okay? And trust me, he’ll love them.”

Six weeks ago

I stepped off the elevator and walked over to Jonathan’s secretary. “Good afternoon, Angela. Is Mr. Statham available?”

She looked at me with a “Why are you even asking me that” expression and picked up her phone. “Mr. Statham? I have...” She rolled her eyes. “It’s Miss Gracen, sir...Right away. You can go in now, Miss Gracen.”

“Thank you.”

I smoothed my navy blue dress and opened the door, slowly walking inside. As soon as Jonathan’s eyes met mine, I smiled and felt butterflies fluttering around in my stomach.