The second the words are out I regret it. It’s my ‘sex’ drawer. Boxes of condoms, lube, baby oil, tissues, and porn. Yes, Porn.

I hear her open the drawer then chuckle a little.

“What?” I say, trying to hide my embarrassment, “I’m a guy.”

Next thing I know, she’s sitting on my ass and rubbing oil into my back, her tiny hands kneading my aching muscles.

“Jake?”

“Mmmm.” My face is smeared into the pillow and her hands feel amazing.

“Um, I hope I’m not like… cramping your style by being here.”

I chuckle under my breath but my body shakes and she feels it. I hope she doesn’t feel that I’ve got a semi because she’s touching me. “I don’t think anyone could be ‘cramping my style’ unless we rewound time back to 2002.”

She playfully smacks me on the back. “You know what I mean.”

“I don’t actually.”

“Well, I mean, I know there’s no shortage of girls that are uhh… willing… to partake in certain activities with… with you.” She clears her throat. “I just don’t want you to think… I mean I know how uncool it would be to invite a girl back here and somehow make that sofa work.”

“Kayla, I don’t bring girls home, if that’s what you’re getting at. So no, you’re not ‘cramping my style’ by being here. I mean, my parents aren’t dumb, they know I have sex, or have had sex, I should say. I guess it’s just an unspoken rule, you know, with Julie down the hall and all. I respect them enough to not do that under their roof.”

The room’s silent for a while.

She’s still sitting with her parts right on my ass, legs spread and hands working magic on me.

She is good at this.

It’s almost a whisper when she asks, “What um, what do you mean you have had sex, you mean you’re not doing it anymore? I mean… often?”

I cant believe she wants to talk about this now.

I can’t handle where her ass is positioned on me, where her hands are touching… and she wants to talk about sex.

My junk is standing at full attention now, I could flip over and we’d be grinding on each other.

Fuck, if I think about this for a second longer I’m gonna come in my pants like I’m 13.

“So…?” She won’t give up.

“You’re gonna think I’m an asshole.” I try to lighten the mood.

“I already think you’re an asshole.”

“Ha Ha.” I deadpan.

“Well…?”

“Okay okay, well, as you know I lived in Australia up until I was 14. I started high school here half way through freshman year. When I got here I was the new kid with the accent and word already got around that I was kinda good at baseball, which apparently was something girls were interested in. I don’t really know. Anyway, once I joined the team a lot of the older guys kinda took me under their wing, there was a stage where it was parties and alcohol most weekends, then girls added to that mix. I couldn’t even tell you what my first experience was like. She was older, like 17 or something. I guess she just wanted the honor of deflowering me.” I laugh and shake my head at the thought. “I sound like a dick, but it’s the truth. Then there were other girls and other parties. My parents kinda got fed up with it after a year or so. They sat me down and told me that they didn’t move all the way back here so I could ‘booze up and slut around every weekend.’ Their words, not mine. They said that we moved so I could focus on baseball and that was what I should be doing. If I wanted to keep doing what I was doing, we could have stayed in Australia, and Dad would be earning triple what he’s earning now. I guess that kinda hit home and I had to really think about what I was doing with my life.” I stop to make sure she’s listening. Her hands are still moving up and down my back, focusing on areas she can tell are tight. I continue, “I cleaned myself up after that. Now baseball comes first. I’m not gonna lie to you Kayla, it doesn't mean that there haven’t been any girls since that conversation with them.”

Silence.

Followed by more silence.

Then she asks, “Have you ever been in love?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” Yes. With you.

“Did the girls you were with ever expect more from you?”

“No, we were always clear about our intentions before anything happened. At the beginning, there may have been a few that thought they could make themselves the one, but I was never ready for that.”

“Did you enjoy it? Sex I mean, as in, in general?”

“Well, yeah, I’m a guy. We don’t need much to enjoy it, any hole’s a goal — Fuck, that sounded a lot less pig-ish in my head.”

She chuckles, hands still massaging my back.

“I think I must have really sucked at it. I mean, if what you say is right, I should have been enjoyable right? Like, it doesn’t take much for a guy to enjoy the experience. I wonder why he had to get it from someone else… shit, I must’ve been so horrible at it.”

I feel like an asshole. “I didn’t mean…”

“No, it’s okay,” she cuts me off.

I want to turn around and see her face, to see what emotion she’s hiding behind her words.

“The worst thing is…” he continues. “He never, not once, gave me an orgasm.”

Fuck.

“Huh,” she says, like she’s deep in her own thoughts. “Maybe there is something wrong with me.”

I cant help it, I turn over so quickly she doesn’t even have time to get off me. She’s straddling my hips now and my hard dick is pressed against her opening. She feels it and for a split second she closes her eyes. When she opens them, confusion sets in and she starts to move off me. I hold her thighs down to stop her from moving. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and I’m scared as shit she’s going to panic and haul ass out of this house.

Then she moves on me.

We both groan out loud.

She blushes red, embarrassed by what she just did and tries to remove herself from me again. My grip on her thighs tighten. My dick twitches and she must feel it because she moans from deep in her throat and moves again, just once.

But enough.

Her head tilts back and she closes her eyes.

Fuck.

“So never, huh?” I say, trying so hard to keep my voice even.

She looks at me for a second, sitting frozen on my still hard dick. She has confusion written over her face, and then understanding dawns on her about what I’m asking.

“I mean, I’ve been able to take care of myself, you know…” She blushes again and looks away from me. “But…he was never able to. Not with anything, his hands or… oh my god, this is so embarrassing.” She covers her face with her hands.

I remove them, “It’s not embarrassing… so like, not even oral?… or sex? None of it?”

She shakes her head no. “After a while I just had to start faking it, just so he would stop. I even planned to see a doctor about it, you know, like something might be physically wrong down there.”

We haven’t moved positions, she’s still straddling me and I’m still hard as a rock. “Wanna know what I think?… I think he’s just a selfish asshole who obviously couldn’t take care of his girl. I should’ve punched him twice when I had the chance.”

She laughs which causes her whole body to rock, against me, in all the good ways.

She moans again and I swear I’ll come if I hear that noise again.

I slowly move my hands higher up her thighs while I gently push up against her, just once. She’s staring into my eyes and I stare back. Her eyes are hooded and filled with lust, and if this happens, when this happens, planets are going to collide, and the world around us will explode.

We slowly start rocking together and it feels so incredible, better than being inside any girl I’ve ever been with.

“Shit,” she whispers as she continues rocking against me. My hands creep higher on her thighs until they slide over her ass and to the skin above the band of her shorts. I start to thumb under the material. There’s a silent question I’m asking, and she nods slowly in response. I start to move my fingers into the material, under her shorts and panties and I cup her ass gently.