Before Ally Ryan moved back to Orchard Hill, I never didn’t know what to do. Now it was all the time. It was like I always didn’t know what to do.And it was starting to piss me off.Like, was I supposed to call her, or not call her? She’d told me she didn’t want to see me anymore. Did she mean it? Or was I supposed to, like, go after her? And if that’s what I was supposed to do, did I really want to be that guy? The guy who begged a girl to take him back?The only thing I knew for sure was that every night I did want to be that guy. Lying in my bed, listening to the crickets, thinking about what she was doing, I was like, Fuck it, just call her. Then every morning, I’d wake up and be relieved I hadn’t done it. Because Jake Graydon doesn’t beg for girls. What was I thinking?Then I’d spend all day obsessing about her, and as soon as I was in bed again, the cycle started all over.As I drove over to Hammond Ross’s house the Monday after the shit hit the fan, all I could think about was the cycle. And whether or not I had the balls to break it. It had been about forty-eight hours since my best friend Shannen Moore had shown that video of us finding Ally’s dad at that deli in the city. Forty-eight hours since she’d made me look like some kind of lying, secret-keeping jerk to Ally, then told me she basically did it because she liked me. Yeah, that part I definitely was not ready to deal with. But I was starting to sort of feel like I could maybe talk to Ally.Possibly.“S’up, man?” Hammond loped across his front yard and got into the passenger seat of my Jeep. His blond hair looked longer than it had during the school year, and he was already tan. “Why are we driving to Faith’s again?”“Because we can,” I said.He smirked. Fist bump. “Nice.”Ever since I got the Jeep for my seventeenth birthday I drove wherever I could. I would’ve driven from my door to the mailbox to get the mail if my mother didn’t pounce on it the second it came. I hit the gas and two seconds later we were pulling up in front of Faith’s house. When I swung the car into the driveway, I saw that Chloe Appleby’s white convertible was there too.“Shit,” Hammond said. “Did you know she was coming?”“Faith said it was just us,” I told him.I should’ve known something was up when Faith had called me that afternoon. She’d never called me before unless she was trying to track down someone else. The story was, her mother had all these leftovers from a church thing she’d hosted and she wanted us to come over so they wouldn’t go to waste. Had she invited Chloe, too, or had Chloe just shown up? Hammond made no move to get out of the car, so I didn’t kill the engine.“You talk to Chloe yet?” I asked.“Once,” he said. He reached forward and picked at some invisible speck on my dashboard with his thumbnail. “Long enough for her to officially dump my ass.”There was an odd twist in my chest. “Sorry, man.”“I can’t believe she broke up with me because I kissed some girl two years ago,” he said. He shoved himself back in the seat, his hands limp in his lap.Again, the twist. Hammond hadn’t just kissed some girl. He’d kissed Ally Ryan.Two years ago, I said to myself. Before she even knew you existed. For some reason, it still didn’t make me feel better.“She didn’t even let me explain what happened,” Hammond said. “She could’ve at least heard me out.”That was what I was afraid of, why I really hadn’t called Ally. Because I didn’t want her to just hang up on me. I wanted her to let me explain. And I was scared shitless that she wouldn’t let me. That we were so far gone, she wouldn’t even listen. And if we were that far gone, I didn’t want to know.Which made me a wuss. Which also pissed me off.“Come on, dude. Let’s go in,” I said, turning off the engine. “Get it over with.”Hammond stared at the arced, red front door of Faith’s stone house. “Yeah. Yeah. All right.”We got out and walked inside without knocking. The only door we ever knocked on was Shannen’s, and that was only because she never wanted anyone to come in, so she only ever came out. The lights were on down in the kitchen, and the door to the basement was open. We heard voices from the top of the stairs. Hammond looked like he wanted to be somewhere else, so I figured I should go first. I jogged down the steps and suddenly wished I was, too. Because Chloe wasn’t the only surprise guest. Shannen was there also.“Dudes! Faith got the new Extreme Sports!” Todd Stein stood up from the wraparound couch with an Xbox controller.“Get your asses over here so we can school you,” his twin brother Trevor said.Todd was in brown shorts and an orange T-shirt. Trevor was in orange shorts and a brown T-shirt. Their blond hair stuck out all over, like they’d just woken up, which considering summer had started, was completely possible. Trevor popped a mini quiche into his mouth, then laughed, showing us the mangled bits of food on his tongue. So at least the claim of leftovers was real.“What’s up with them?” I asked, lifting my chin.In the corner by Faith’s prized dollhouse, Faith gestured at Chloe, whose eyes were on the floor, and Shannen, whose eyes were on me.I sat down next to Todd and looked at the TV.“Chick drama,” Todd said, tossing me the third controller. On the screen, two snowboarders raced down a slalom hill.Hammond was still at the bottom of the stairs. Now he made his move, walking slowly across the carpeted room. Todd and Trevor shouted in protest as he blocked their game for a split second, but he didn’t notice or care. When he got to the girls, Faith stopped yammering and, aside from Trevor and Todd’s chewing and the sound effects coming through the surround sound, the place was silent.“Chloe, can I talk to you?”“Does he really need to be here?” Chloe asked Faith. She didn’t even look at Hammond.Faith bit her lip, fiddling with her car keys for some reason. “Come on, Chloe. Can’t you at least just talk to him?”“Fine.” Chloe rolled her eyes and scoffed. She grabbed her bag off the couch and started for the door. “If he’s staying, I’m leaving.”“Chloe, wait,” Faith called.Chloe stopped right in front of the TV and Todd’s boarder hit a tree.“Oh, man! What the hell, Chloe?”I paused the game.“Look, I didn’t come here to be ambushed,” Chloe said, whirling on Faith. “You said it was going to be just the two of us. Then she walks in.” She gestured at Shannen with her bag. “And now Hammond? What are you trying to do?”“I’m trying to keep the group from completely self-destructing! Doesn’t anybody care about that but me?” Faith said, turning her palms out. Her long blond hair hung down around her shoulders and for once in her life, she wasn’t wearing two tons of makeup. Even her outfit was different from usual. Plain brown shorts and a white tank top. No popsicle-colored minidress or too-hip jewelry or ridiculous heels. “If it makes you feel any better, I told the guys it would be just them, and Shannen, too. None of them knew.”“Oh, good. So you’re the only liar in the room,” Chloe said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Oh, wait! Shannen and Hammond already proved they were liars.”“Chloe—,” Shannen began.“No. You don’t even talk to me,” Chloe said, lifting one finger from her bag. “You knew for two years that my boyfriend cheated on me, but you never felt the need to tell me until it fit into one of your stupid anti-Ally plots.”Then she turned on Hammond. “And you . . . you’ve liked her all this time, haven’t you?” Her bottom lip trembled so badly I felt embarrassed. “What was I, just some, like, pseudo-Ally? Someone to hang out with while you pined and prayed for her to come back?”Hammond’s jaw was set as he stared at Chloe. Was that true? Did he still like Ally?“That’s not how it is,” he said. “You know it’s not.”He tried to take her hand, but she snatched it away.“I don’t know anything, obviously,” she said. Then she took in a breath. “Thanks a lot, Faith. I didn’t have enough public humiliation this week. I really appreciate it.”She stormed up the stairs and a few seconds later the front door slammed.Faith looked like she was about to cry.“I think I’m gonna walk home,” Hammond said.I started to get up from the couch. “I’ll take you.”“Guys, come on,” Faith said. Pleaded, really. “I still have the food, and I really—”But Hammond was already gone. I stood up straight. The idea of staying here with Shannen, who I had nothing to say to, and a tearful Faith was not happening.“I’d better go,” I said. “Sorry Faith.”And I was out. On my way to the door, I heard Todd ask if it was okay if they kept playing.Outside, Hammond was nowhere to be seen. Chloe’s car was gone. I got in the Jeep and reversed out of the driveway. As I drove down the hill toward town, I suddenly knew for absolute sure that I had to call Ally. Of everyone I knew, she was the only person I actually wanted to hang out with. Who cared if I had to grovel to be with her? What was that old saying? Something about the ends justifying the means? At the first stoplight I came to, I grabbed my phone and let my thumb hover over the A button. But I froze.I couldn’t do it. I was too fucking scared. God, I hated myself.The light turned green. Cursing under my breath, I dropped the phone on the passenger seat and hit the gas.