“Even? For what?”

“You’ve kept my secret, and I’ve kept yours,” she said.

Right. Her secret. I was the only person in the world who knew what had really happened the night her brother, Charlie, ran away. I knew that Shannen’s father came home drunk and went nuts when he found out Charlie had crashed his mom’s car. And I knew that whatever threats he was making had scared Shannen enough to run to my house and call the police. Her dad had been arrested and thrown in jail for the night to sober up, and her brother was gone by the time their dad got home. Shannen’s father had gotten probation and community service for disturbing the peace, since Charlie was eighteen and not around to bring charges, but after that Shannen’s father just got mean. And he started drinking even more than he already did—always saying that if he ever found out who called the police on him that night, he’d kill them. I could still see Shannen trembling with fear that night in my dad’s home office. Could still see the look of terror in her eyes the night of her dad’s court date, when she made me swear I’d never tell anyone. She blamed herself for her dad’s humiliation and her brother’s leaving. I tried to tell her that it was her dad’s fault, not hers, but she didn’t think her parents would see it that way.

“Do you . . . did Charlie ever . . . ?”

“Come home?” Shannen said. “No. He e-mails me every once in a while, but that’s it. And he made me promise not to tell my parents.”

So that made two secrets I now knew.

“Where is he?” I asked.

“Arizona. Eric Toricelli went to school out there, so he’s crashing with him, taking classes and working,” Shannen said. Then she eyed me up and down. “And if you tell your mother this, I’ll hunt you down and kill you.”

“I know,” I said. “I know how to keep a secret, Shannen. I think I’ve shown that. So I guess that means I’m not the worst person in the world.”

Shannen exhaled through her nose, then cracked a small smile. “Maybe not the worst.”

“Ladies! Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?” Coach shouted at us. “Let’s go!”

We turned together and walked toward the opposite end of the gym. For the first time since I’d been back, I felt comfortable being in the same room with Shannen. It was a tentative feeling, but it was there. So that was our truce. We each knew something about the other that we didn’t want anyone else to know.

It wasn’t much, but I would take it.

jake

I used to think there was nothing worse than having my mom’s voice pop into my head when I was hooking up with a girl. But I was wrong. There is something worse. It’s when I’m hooking up with a girl and my mom’s voice and Ally’s voice and the voice of my stupid fucking SAT tutor all pop into my head at the same time.

“Jake? What’s wrong?” Lisa Freckles asked as I pulled away for the fifth time. Her name wasn’t really Lisa Freckles. It was just that I couldn’t ever remember her last name, and she had lots of freckles on her shoulders.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Good.” She smiled. She had a nice smile, especially now that she’d gotten her braces off. “Then come back.”

She pulled me to her and kissed me. All around us my friends were partying like the rock stars they thought they were. It was Chloe’s seventeenth birthday, and her parents had rented out the entire Houston Hotel in New York. We all had rooms to go back to after the party so we could drink as much as we wanted and they wouldn’t have to worry about us getting home.

Yeah. That was Chloe’s dad for you. If he’d lost some of his money with Ally’s father like everyone else had, he probably still would have found a way to throw this party. Chloe was the center of his universe, or so he was always telling her. It was just too bad that Chloe was freezing Ally out even though her family hadn’t been affected. Because otherwise Ally would be here and maybe I could be making out with her instead of Lisa Freckles. Except that Ally would be making out with David Drake. Was that what they were doing right now? Hooking up at some party? Dorkus Drake got to kiss Ally Ryan whenever he wanted. In what universe was that okay?

And now I was thinking about her again. Sonafabitch. I pressed Lisa Freckles back into the couch, trying to concentrate on her and only her. She was a cool girl. We’d gone to a concert together last summer and actually had fun. She deserved some concentration.

Conflagration is to fire as tsunami is to what? my SAT tutor said in my ear.

I kissed her harder, trying to shut out the voice. Lisa moaned a little.

Kissing Lisa Freckles is to kissing Ally Ryan as what is to what? Ally’s voice teased.

I shoved my fingers into Lisa’s hair.

You have to break thirteen hundred this time, Jake. Fordham does not accept scores beneath thirteen hundred, my mom snapped.

I pulled away again, faked a cough, and grabbed my drink, downing half of it in one gulp. It didn’t stop the voices. And Lisa was tugging on my shirt. I took a deep breath and sighed. This was going to be a very long night.

A peal of familiar laughter caught my attention, and Shannen, Faith, and Chloe all semistumbled into the room, clearly drunk. They were cracking up uncontrollably as they teetered over and dropped down onto the couch. Chloe was so out of it, she half sat on my lap, then slid off to the side.

“This is the best birthday ever!” she cheered, throwing her arms up. Champagne sloshed over the rim of her glass onto my leg. There’s a reason Chloe hardly ever drinks. She gets sloppy and loud.

“You know it!” Shannen said, finishing off her own champagne.

“Oh, but I wish Ally was here.” Chloe stuck out her bottom lip and leaned her head on my shoulder. My heart skipped at the mention of Ally. I shot Lisa a look of apology for the interruption. She sat up straighter and smoothed her hair.

“You so do not!” Faith countered, shoving Chloe’s knee. “We hate Ally.”

“Exactly,” Shannen said with a nod.

“Yeah, but . . . don’t you feel kinda bad for her?” Chloe said, blinking rapidly. “I mean, she lives in a condo, her mom’s all depressed, and her dad’s, like, a waiter . . . ” She sipped her champagne. “It’s just sad.”

Shannen and Faith looked at one another as if they’d just been told they won a lifetime supply of nail polish.

“Wait. What?” Shannen blurted.

“Her dad’s a what?” Faith added.

Chloe’s hand flew to her mouth. She looked at me, wide-eyed.

“I thought no one knew where her dad was,” Shannen said, sitting forward.

“I don’t. I mean, they don’t. No one does.” Chloe got up, steadied herself on her high heels, and looked around. “Where’s my cake? I want my cake now. Mom!?” She waved her hands over her head, trying to get her mother’s attention from across the room. Her mother looked over disapprovingly.

Shannen got up and grabbed Chloe’s arm. “You know where Ally’s dad is?”

“No.” Chloe shook her head.

“Yes, you do. You said he’s a waiter,” Shannen said hungrily. “Is he working for your dad or something? At one of his restaurants?”

Chloe hesitated. “I can’t talk about this.”

“Chloe—”

“No. It’s my birthday, and I don’t have to talk about this if I don’t want to.”

At that moment, Chloe’s parents arrived. Chloe looked up at her tall, broad, seriously intimidating father.

“Can we do the cake now?” she pleaded.

“Of course! You’re the birthday girl!” he said in a booming voice.

As her parents whisked her away, Shannen tried to go after them.

“Shannen, leave it,” I said, standing.

“What?” Her eyes flashed angrily. “No, Jake, you don’t understand. This is huge.”

I’ll bet. And I had a feeling that whatever Shannen’s reasons were for wanting to know where Ally’s dad was, she didn’t have Ally’s feelings in mind.