My face burns. I’m not some girl who messes around with strangers in casinos. I’ve never even had an orgasm from anyone else’s hand but Adam’s. Well, except my own.

Something about that thought brings tears to my eyes. The stranger is washing his hands again, drying them roughly with a monogrammed towel, and I realize I’ve missed so much in my time with Adam. We lost any semblance of spontaneity—any shred of lust or adoration—before we finished high school, and since then…since then we’ve just been drifting. I’m drifting.

The stranger’s eyes find mine, and twin tears fall down my cheeks. I don’t even know this guy, but I know I need someone like him. Someone who will make me feel. Someone who can’t keep his hands off me.

This man, as his eyes hold mine…he seems to understand. He steps slowly to me, strokes my cheek. His eyes are so raw and real, I’m sure he sees right through me, down into the pitiful depths of my self-doubt. “There’s nothing to feel bad about, okay?”

I nod—except I’m remembering what happened with Cross. The humiliating rebound attempt that probably wrecked our friendship.

Shameful tears fill my eyes as I turn and push through the bathroom door. Do I need affection so badly that I’ll let myself get intimate in a casino bathroom?

I wipe my hand over my eyes, looking down at the glossy hallway floor and moving as quickly as I can when I hear someone say, “Suri!”

I jump as I slam into something, and there is Lizzy, dressed in skinny jeans, a giant beige sweater, and charcoal Chucks. She looks pink-cheeked and beautiful.

“Oh my God, Suri! Are you okay?”

I wipe my eyes and nod. “I lost my purse and security acted bizarre, and I didn’t believe the guy was really security; I thought he was a kidnapper, so I ended up running off.” I roll my eyes at myself. “It’s a sad, pathetic story—” and that’s not even telling half of it. I sigh softly. “Where were you when I called?”

“I’m so sorry, I fell asleep!”

Lizzy looks nervous, but before I can ask why, Hunter appears behind her, and he has my purse.

“Hunter. Thank you.”

“The casino’s director of resident operations said to tell you he’s sorry about the misunderstanding. Whatever that means.”

“I understand.” I squeeze my eyes shut. I guess that’s what I get for name-dropping.

I take the purse and Hunter frowns at Lizzy, then me.

Lizzy’s face goes serious—that plastic, frozen kind of serious that always makes my blood run cold.

“Is something wrong?” I frown at Hunter, who’s wearing a Lakers cap and a t-shirt. “I thought you had a fundraiser tonight…”

Lizzy turns to me and takes my hands, and my stomach clenches. “Suri, Cross is in the hospital—in El Paso.”

“What?”

“You know how he was down in Mexico for that motorcycle convention? Well, apparently he got into another accident. But don’t worry, it’s not—”

“Oh my God. Is he okay?” My voice cracks, and tears fill my eyes so rapidly I can’t see Lizzy’s face.

“It’s okay, Suri. A nurse called Love Inc. looking for Marchant, who isn’t there, and when Rachelle didn’t get Marchant, she tried Hunter.”

Liz nods at Hunter, who expounds. “The nurse said that he was fine, but being prepped for surgery.”

 “Another surgery?” My stomach clenches. “Then we need to go.” I look around the hall as my mind shifts from nimble hands and warm lips to white hospital halls. “Let’s go to El Paso now. I have my plane.”

“Hunter’s is already on the runway,” Lizzy says. “I wanted us to be there when he woke up.”

“Good idea.”

She nods. “Your bags should already be on it.”

Lizzy lightens the mood by telling ridiculous knock-knock jokes as we ride a shuttle from the back of the casino, past the palm-shaded golf course, toward the Wynn’s VIP airport. I glimpse hangars as our path takes us over a small hill, and I’m amazed at how little I remember from when I landed…two hours ago?

“Suri.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re supposed to say, ‘Boo who?’”

“Oh. Right.” I shift my gaze from a W-shaped shrub to Lizzy’s face. “Boo who?”

“Open the fucking door.”

“What?”

Lizzy laughs. “’Who’s there?’ ‘Boo.’ You said, ‘Boo who?’ and I say, ‘Open the fucking door.’ It’s funny. Remember humor?”

“I’m just so worried.”

“Suri, he’s okay. A nurse told Hunter he’s okay. Nurses don’t lie.”

“I thought nurses couldn’t reveal a person’s medical condition.”

“That’s doctors.”

“Oh.”

The shuttle drops us off near the fence dividing the golf course from the airport—a fence I really don’t remember going through at all—and I try to keep myself centered as I think about my mystery bathroom guy, and Cross, and my bathroom guy, and Cross, and how it’ll be between us now, post-embarrassment. I guess he’ll probably be normal. Maybe extra nice. It’s me who’s going to be awkward.

That low, deep voice rolls through my mind: “There’s nothing to feel bad about, okay?”

He might have been a brawler and a bathroom slut, but my mystery guy was nice. I could tell.

I think of Adam at his book signing and feel a burst of anger. Adam sucks. Because he didn’t really love me. Or rather, we weren’t really in love. It took a dramatic act to help me figure that out. Is it because I wanted a happily ever after so badly I just overlooked all the signs?

Yes. And with Cross, I saw signs that weren’t there.

We’re approaching the twinkling landing strips, dotted with light-bathed control towers and those sleek, glass-looking hangers, when my mind starts playing tricks on me. Standing beside one of the planes, I think I see the guy from the bathroom.

I squint at him, because surely it’s not the same guy, but as we get closer, I grow more certain.

My feet stop moving; Lizzy and Hunter take a few steps forward without noticing I’ve stopped. Lizzy is the first to turn around.

“Sur—you coming?”

“Who is that?” I whisper.

“Who, Marchant?” She jerks her thumb his way. “Radcliffe. I’ve talked about him before.”

But I don’t. I…can’t. He can’t— “He can’t be Marchant.”

My head spins and I grab onto Lizzy’s forearm for support. I shake my head and look at him—the scoundrel’s handsome face and scruffy beard. This can’t be Marchant Radcliffe. Womanizing asshole. Pimp.

I just let him give me an orgasm.

SURI

Marchant. Marchant Radcliffe. I keep blinking at him, because I can’t believe my sexy bathroom guy is him: Marchant Radcliffe—the pimp.

We’re close enough now that he lifts his head, and his gaze laps up and down my body in a manner I assume he must use with his harem. I feel heat rush into my face, followed by the sting of tears in my eyes, because he didn’t understand me—back there when I was having my little freak-out. We didn’t have a real moment. He’s just good at this stuff. He’s good at…well, at womanizing. He’s a professional.

Lizzy grabs my hand, because my feet don’t seem to want to take me to the plane, and we drop back as Hunter strides forward to greet Marchant.

“You okay?” she asks.

I nod—a little too frantically—and try to keep my wandering eyes off Marchant Radcliffe’s bulky shoulders. We’re less than twenty feet from the plane now, and as we get closer to the fold-out stairs, I can feel my body reacting—my skin warming, my heart rate speeding up—for a pimp, and it makes me feel like a fool.

I remind myself the attraction wasn’t one-sided. The wet-spot still visible on his pants attests to that. I did nothing wrong. There’s no reason I can’t look him in the eye and act like an adult about this.

But what if he says something in front of Lizzy and Hunter? Then they’ll know.

So what if they know?

It would change the way they think of me—that’s what.

I’m Suri Dalton. Suri Dalton of the random-hook-ups-are-just-weird policy. I’m the one who discouraged Lizzy from selling her V-card at a brothel, because having sex is supposed to be meaningful.