"So.......Dannyyyyy Diammmonnndddd!!! Are you ready for some football, a Monday night partyyyyy???" I exaggeratedly sing the Monday Night Football anthem.

"We'll see," he tells me. "We'll see."

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We're driving to Kansas City for the game and listening to sports radio. There's a lot of speculation that Mark Conway's football career is over, due to concussions, and that he's going to retire soon.

If it's true, I'll be happy for Danny, but I feel bad too. I wouldn't want Danny to go out that way, having a concussion end his career. I want him to go out in a blaze of glory. He needs confetti raining down on him, fans cheering him, raising the Super Bowl trophy over his head for the third time when he announces his retirement.

Danny calls me. He must really be nervous. "Hey, what's up?"

"Do you remember that day after prom, how we talked in the hammock?" he asks.

"Of course, that was the day you told me if we dated it would ruin our friendship."

"Do you remember what you told me?"

"Not really." I don't remember exactly what all I said that day.

"You told me that I have greatness in me. That I was doing what I always wanted and what I was meant to do."

"Oh yeah, the football talk. I remember that. I thought you were talking about what you said about us. You know, when you broke my heart."

Danny laughs. "We both know I did not break your heart."

"I still say you did. Ahhh, the one that got away." I giggle and wink at Phillip. He rolls his eyes at me.

"Jay. Back to football."

"Oh, sorry."

"Do you remember after we lost the Texas game? I had those two interceptions, and the press, who the week before thought I was the second coming of Christ himself, threw me under the bus and decided I was overrated?"

"Yeah, I remember. It sucked."

"You told me that it didn't look like I was having fun out there. That when I stopped having fun, the whole team did too. I remember yelling at you, NO SHIT! Because how could I have had fun when I was either getting sacked or running for my life? But when I watched the game film, I realized you were right. When I started falling apart, the team came with me. You told me I was like the captain of a sinking ship. That if I let the water get to me, it would get to my crew too. That I needed to be the leader. Tell them it didn't matter, that the water was good for the boat, and we were gonna make it to land. You told me I had to lead my offense, be the calm in the storm. That if I wasn't confident, they wouldn't be either."

"Wow! I was really supportive, and apparently, I'm quite brilliant at motivational sports analogies. I should totally be on ESPN."

Phillip chuckles in the seat next to me.

Danny laughs too. "Don't get too puffed up. You also used to say, Fuck it. It's just a game. Tell Phillip he gets points for making me go in the backyard and toss around the football."

"I'll tell him, but only if I get bonus points for taking you to the bar."

"I'm not sure that was the smartest thing."

"So why are you calling? You need a little pre-game pep talk?"

"Maybe."

"Hhmmmm, okay. I still believe what I said back then. You were born for this, and you're exactly where you belong. You can perform under pressure like no one else can."

Phillip bursts out laughing, but that's because his mind's in the gutter.

Danny says, "I like it so far," but then he bursts out laughing too and is like, "although that last part sounded a bit sexual. Has Lori been telling you how amazing I am in bed?"

"Uh, no," I say, but then I laugh again. "Well, maybe I've heard a little, but you know what I mean. I'm talking defensive pressure, which I don't think you'll have much of tonight because you have an offensive line most quarterbacks would give their left nut for."

"True."

"So Daniel-son," I tease.

"Oh boy, movie references. You aren't gonna start telling me wax on, wax off, are you?"

"No, I have a better one. Remember the old movie, Iron Eagle? Where that kid flies a fighter plane to go rescue his dad?"

"Yeahhh."

"Your offensive line is like his plane. They're going to protect you. You're the iron eagle that can't be brought down, can't be stopped. You'll hold your ground. You'll scramble. You will not take a sack."

"That's pretty good. I like it."

"Good, cuz after you win tonight, and the reporters are all like, Oh, Dannnnyyyy, you're so ahh--maaazzinggg, I expect you to say, I owe it all to Jay."

Danny chuckles. "That's why I love you. See ya after the game."

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We're at the stadium. I was so excited that I packed a ton of tailgating food and lots to drink. The Diamonds came too, but didn't bring the RV, and they're kicking themselves because Lori has to pee a lot. Mrs. Diamond says pregnant women always have to pee. She was gushing on about how Lori's glowing. And she is. Lori is beautiful, but her strawberry blonde hair looks thicker, her cheeks look slightly flushed, and although she's still her normal skinny self, she looks just a little fuller. Sexier. She looks amazing.

We drank beer in front of her, but I felt funny doing shots. I didn't want her to feel left out. So not bringing the RV turned out to be a blessing in disguise. While she waited in line to use the porta potties, I got out the Jaegermeister. Which was a good thing because I'm probably more nervous about Danny starting than Danny is.

We got to our seats early, so we wouldn't miss a thing. I'm expecting our conversation to be about the game. But the topic is not that Danny's starting, the fun tailgating, the 9/11 memorial silence, the blimp, the roar of the crowd, the gorgeous weather, or the stealth bomber flyover. The topic Lori wants to discuss is my wedding.

She questions me. "So how do you want your wedding to be?"

"I just want it to be nice. Pretty flowers, a pretty dress, a fun party. I love parties."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Yes, we all know you love partying, Jade. But this is your wedding, it's not supposed to be some drunkfest. Although, how about a New Year's Eve wedding? Confetti, hats, noise makers, and I won't be a moose yet."

"I like the idea, but that's way too soon! We're going to have a long engagement."

"So have you set a date?"

"No. You were at our party. We've been engaged for two days. Why does everyone keep asking me that? It makes my head hurt!"

Phillip leans over and whispers in my ear. "Or maybe it's the Jaeger." He pats my back and says, "I think we're gonna need a few more beers here."

He runs to get beer while Lori continues talking. "I'm not trying to pressure you, but we're thinking about taking a babymoon. I was trying to figure out when would be a good time to go...."

What the fuck is a babymoon? I was gonna interrupt her and ask, but she kept talking.

".....and I know you haven't asked me yet, but I assume I'll be your maid of honor."

"Matron of honor," I remind her. "You're married."

"Oh gosh. Matron? Really? That makes me sound so old. There needs to be a different name for that. We need to come up with something. Like you could really hurt people's feelings with those labels. I'm married, yes. But I'm not matronly, and I don't wanna be a matron. And what about the poor woman that's thirty-five and never been married? Are you gonna call her a maid of honor? You might as well call her an old maid because I'm sure that's how it'd make her feel. We seriously need to rethink this."


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