“I never said that!” Well, wait a minute, maybe I sorta did. “I mean if I did say it, it's not what I meant.”

Now he's staring at me like I'm psycho.

Probably, I am.

“Shit, Danny, the truth is, I've never really made out.” There, I said it. “And I really, really, need to know how to do it right. I can't seem to get reliable information from my friends, I can't ask my parents, Ashley's at college, so you're my only hope,” I whine.

He continues the stone faced look at me.

“I thought you made out with Bobby?”

“Yeah, I did, and it was awful. AND I DON'T WANNA BE AWFUL!!!!”

Then I change directions in my thinking, trying to figure out a way to get him to teach me. So I say with a challenge, “Hmm, well maybe you can't do it, that's okay, I'll just go ask Phillip for help.”

“Hell, no,” he growls. “He has about as much experience in that department as you do. Fine. I'll help you.” He puts his hand up to his chin, thinking. “Hmmm. Come sit down.”

I sit cross-legged on his bed, facing him.

“Here. Take this.” He throws his pillow at me.

Ooh. Yum. It smells just like him.

But, uh, excuse me. I've already tried practicing on my pillow, and it was NO help!

“No, that won't work.” He quickly snatches the musky thing away from me. “Too big. I know, hold your hand up to your face,” he orders. “Kiss it.”

I look at him like he's nuts, but he shakes his head yes, so I hold my palm up in front of my face and push my lips into it.

“Turn sideways a bit, so I can see better,” he bosses, so I turn. “Okay, but your puckering is way too tight. You're not kissing your grandma, Jay.”

“No, worse,” I gripe, “I'm kissing my hand.”

He glares at me. I think I had better just do as he says.

“Just loosen your lips. Try again.”

This time I pucker my lips, but then try to make them loose. I glance over at him, my eyebrows raised in hope.

“Alright, now slightly open your mouth.”

I try to slightly open my mouth. “This feels ridiculous.”

“Hmm, is this really that important to you?”

“Uh, ye-ah. He's a senior! My entire reputation is at stake here.”

“Hmm, well okay then.” He jumps off his bed, shuts and locks his door, and turns off the light. There's plenty of light coming through his window from the streetlight, so I can still see him. But I must appear slightly alarmed because he says, “Look, I just don't want anyone walking in on this.”

He looks at me like he's a soldier being sent off to war, and I should be proud of his bravery and selflessness.

Actually, I am.

“Plus, you need to relax. Maybe in the dark you won't feel so stupid.” He plops back down on his bed next to me and continues, “Tilt your head slightly to the left.”

I tilt my head.

“Lick your lips, so they're not all dry.”

I lick.

“Stop smiling and close your eyes.”

I close them.

“Come on, Jay, I shouldn't have to tell you everything! Pucker those lips.”

I pucker.

“No! Not so tight.”

Then he touches my bottom lip with his finger, and I nearly jump off the bed, my eyes flying wide open as he's yelling at me, “LESSON NUMBER ONE! DON'T DO THAT! You scared the shit out of me. You have GOT to relax!”

Then he reaches out and puts his hands on both of my shoulders, feels that they are, in fact, extremely tense. “God, you're way tense!”

Puleeze, how could I not be?

I mean doesn't this whole effed up situation require some tension on my part?

“Sorry,” I breathe deep and shake my shoulders, but it doesn't help. I am still WAY tense.

Danny's hands are still on my shoulders, and he starts rubbing them.

I can't help but melt….I mean, uh, relax.

“I know, let's try some positive visualization. Close your eyes again.” Then he speaks slowly in a hypnotic tone. “Alright, picture yourself at the movies with Ryan. So it's dark, the movie is playing—”

“Wait! What are we seeing?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Uh, yeah. If you want me to visualize, I need the whole picture.”

“Fine then, something scary, so you'll want to hang onto him.”

“Okay,” I nod and smile. “That sounds good.”

“So at the scary movie, he puts his arm around your shoulder.” Danny moves to my side and puts his arm around my shoulder. “You turn your face toward him and look into his eyes.” I turn my face toward Danny. “He smiles and leans in to kiss you.” Danny pushes my hand up to my face, pressing my lips into my hand.

I like this visualization stuff. I pretend my hand is Ryan and start to give it a good kiss, but then I think about how ridiculous I must look and start laughing again.

Danny does a big huffy breath at me and shoves my hand away from my mouth. “Stop laughing.”

I keep my eyes shut tight and bite my lip while Danny continues in the hypnotic voice, “Okay, I'm going to touch your lip, and I want you to open your mouth a bit.”

I giggle again.

I can't help it! I really can't!

“Oh, screw it,” he says.

I open my eyes and watch him shake his head at me. “This is just too hard to explain.”

I am ready to scream, I'll stop laughing, please, please, please don't give up on me, when he pulls me toward him and covers my mouth with his.

Oh. My. Gosh.

He's kissing me!

Danny is kissing me!!

And wow, practical knowledge. This is even better!

He kisses me with soft lips and a slightly opened mouth.

Oh.

He is a good kisser.

I kiss him back.

Then he taps my hand impatiently.

I take it I'm supposed to do something.

Why am I here again?

Oh yeah, the tongue thing.

I cautiously stick my tongue out, and somehow he grabs the bottom of it with his tongue and sort of sucks on it.

Oh, my, that's nice.

He taps me again.

I stop for a second because I'm not real sure what to do. But then Danny puts his tongue into my mouth, so I try to mimic what he did to me…..and hey, it works!

I think I'm kind of getting the hang of this.

And, WOW! It feels really good.

Obviously this is the right way to do it. I knew Bobby Robinson didn't have a clue.

Danny and I practiced for a little while.

I never knew learning could be so much fun!

All of a sudden, I hear something.

But it's hard to be concerned about a stupid random noise when Danny in lying on top of me, kissing me, one hand tangled in my hair, the other hand up my shirt.

But then I hear something else, and my brain awakens.

I tear my lips away from Danny and turn my head. Danny kisses down the side of my neck, while I peek over at the clock next to his bed.

The clock says 9:30. 9:30?

Wait. What?

9:30?

9:30???!!!!

That can't be right!

When I left home it was 7:30!

Could I have been making out with Danny for two whole hours?

Shit!!!!!!!!!

Are Danny's parents are home?

Danny and I both hear the next noise. Danny's mom is calling out, “Danny!”

And I swear to God, she must have literally apparated from the garage because in less than an instant, she is at his door trying to open it.

But it's locked.

She tries the handle again and says, “Danny, may I come in?”

Danny says, “Sure, Mom, just a sec.”

He seems way too cool about this. He gives me his Devil Danny grin, along with a last deep kiss, and jumps off the bed. Only problem is, my leg is still wrapped around his, and he sorta tumbles out of the bed instead.

And I don't know why, maybe I am slightly high from kissing Danny, but I find this quite funny and can't help but giggle.

Danny grins back at me, as he's picking himself up off the floor. Well, he's grinning until his mom hears my giggling and says madly, “Danny Diamond, unlock the door this instant. Who is in there with you?” Because Danny is not supposed to have girls over when his parents aren't home.