“I think it was her warped way of apologizing for all the mean stuff she did to me. And if it’s any consolation, she's just as screwed up as we are.”

“You never seem to screw up.” She looks at my hand still absentmindedly running through Aiden's hair. “Except maybe with him. He likes you.”

“I like him too.”

“If only it were still that easy,” she laughs. “Like in middle school. All you have to say is she will like you if you like her back.”

“That's funny.”

She sighs. “What do you think of Camden?”

“I think deep down he's a good guy.”

“I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to marry him. But I can't really picture it.”

“Then it’s probably not right,” I say, my mind immediately conjuring up a wedding to Aiden. A hillside overlooking the ocean at sunset. Close friends and family. Ribbons in the trees and big hurricane lanterns lighting the aisle. Dinner at a winery. Brick patio. Candles on every surface and twinkle lights strung above our heads. Me in a dress with golden embroidery. Gorgeous shoes. Then a party. Dance floor set in the trees. Lots of wine. Lots of dancing. Aiden in a black suit looking a little dangerous and totally delectable.

Peyton touches my arm, causing my daydream to evaporate. “I just want you to know that when we go back to school, things’ll be different. I'll be different.”

I gave her an understanding nod.

Peyton and I have different backgrounds but we’re alike in so many ways. I know with a little more time she could’ve been a lifelong friend.

Lifelong.

I know that once I start this showdown with Vincent my life might not be very long.

But, I guess, at least it will be mine.

“So, what are we gonna do on the island?” Peyton asks.

“Relax. It has everything you could possibly want. Aside from the ocean, sandy beach, and infinity pool, there is a two-lane bowling alley, gym, movie theater, and even a small nightclub.”

“You and Aiden could dance. He said you guys had fun at the club in New York City.”

“We did have fun. I loved the Empire State Building. Did he tell you we watched a couple get engaged?”

“He did. You know, he’s gotten romantic.”

“What do you mean gotten?”

“All the little things he’s done for you. He’s never really had to try with a girl, but your relationship is different. And what the hell was the dirt about?”

“You know how some relationships are kinda shallow? You like them because they're hot, or just for sex, or cuz you want to make someone jealous?”

“Yeah.”

“He wants a relationship that's deeper. One that has a strong foundation. The dirt is supposed to be the start of it.”

She sighs and clasps her hands together. “My parents have a relationship like that.”

“My grandma told me this morning that she believes fate brings people into your life but it's up to you to decide who stays.”

“I hope fate brings me a gorgeous, down-to-earth, soulful hottie.”

“So did you have a Thanksgiving break back-up plan? Like, for where you were going if I said no?”

“I had one. Aiden didn’t. Every time I brought it up, he told me no.”

He's good at that word, I think.

“He said he couldn't entertain the thought of you saying no. That he had to focus on the positive. He's been a wreck, Keatyn. I've never seen him like this. No one has.”

“It was a bad deal.”

“But he didn't really do anything wrong. I don't get why you’re still mad.”

“I’m not mad.”

“I know he's my brother and I'm biased, but he's a good guy. And I know that he’s dated a lot of girls and I can see why that would upset you, but—”

I hold my hand up. “We'll figure things out.”

“Fine. I’ll let you two handle it. But I have some stuff that I need to say. Stuff I need to say out loud.”

“Uh, okay.”

“I’ve been living my life with a chip on my shoulder and using what happened to my mom as an excuse to justify my behavior.”

“Have you forgiven yourself?”

“I’m trying. That’s part of why I’m looking forward to this trip. It’s a new beginning for me. Of living with the conscience I was raised with. And of figuring out what I want from life.”

“Any ideas on that?”

“Well, I have enough credits to graduate in December. I'm thinking about doing it and taking some time off. It would mean missing soccer, but it's not like I want to play in college or anything, and I could care less about missing Prom.”

“So would you go home?”

“Maybe. Or get an apartment somewhere fun. New York or L.A. Maybe start my own business.”

“What kind of business?”

“Did you see the journal I gave Miss Tina?”

“With the cool cover? Yeah.”

“I made it. Well, I handmade the paper that I covered it with. I’d love to do something like that. Make really cool paper designs and use them for journals, stationary, wallpaper, lampshades. Do you think I could major in paper making?”

“I’m sure you could major in art. Do you think I could major in shoes?”

“Not acting?”

“Um, no.” Here come the lies again. This is why I can't go back. I'm sick of telling them. She's pouring her heart out to me, and I’m lying to her face.

Speaking of faces, Aiden's beautiful one has a little smirk on it, like he’s having a good dream.

And it makes me feel even more determined to fight Vincent and defeat him.

Maybe I’ll walk right into Vincent's office and say, You want me? Here I am. Let’s make your fucking movie. 

Then I’ll see what he does. Maybe he's just a bully and the minute I stand up to him he’ll back down.

Or maybe it would force him to actually make it.

And maybe he could have a freak accident with a lighting boom. Or maybe we could have someone tamper with his brakes. I could send him a note telling him to meet me up the beach. Curvy road, some rain, skidding off a cliff, and good riddance, Vincent.

“Have you ever made a guy bucket list?” Peyton asks me.

“Like all the different types of guys you want to be with?”

She laughs. “No. Like the qualities you want your dream guy to have.”

“Um, not really. I mean, I’ve thought about it, but I’ve never written it down.” Unless you count a script.

“I’m going to make a new bucket list for my life on this trip, and I’m going to rework my Mr. Dreamy List.”

“Mr. Dreamy?”

“Yep. My list for the perfect man.”

“What’s on the list so far?”

“How we’ll meet. Of course, it will be love at first sight. An instant amazing connection.”

“What does he look like?”

“Kinda tall, in good shape, great arms, but not too bulky.”

“Kinda like your dad?”

She cocks her head. “I suppose so. Isn't that what every girl wants? To fall in love with someone like her daddy?”

I think about Tommy and sigh. “Yeah, kinda.”

She keeps going. “I want him to look good but not be all about appearance—like, I don’t want him to spend more time getting ready than I do.”

I laugh, remembering Sander. “I dated a guy like that. I was jealous because his hair always looked better than mine.”

“Exactly, and he needs to look good in the morning, like right when he wakes up. That’s one thing that Camden had. That sexy morning scruff. How he looked even hotter when his hair was messed up.”

“What else?”

“He’ll love to travel, but like being at home too. We’ve traveled a lot with our parents but my best memories are of all of us at home doing nothing but hanging out. That’s going on my new bucket list. I’m even giving it to my parents. They are amazing, but I think they’ve gone a little overboard on the whole experiences thing. They’re missing moments with us.” She looks down at Aiden. “You know, it's funny. He's my little brother, but he's the one who always takes care of me. He even had all those parties in his room to keep me out of trouble.”

“I know.”

“I’m glad he stopped. I need to keep myself out of trouble.”