Me:  No. But I was best friends with a girl like Whitney at my old school. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. It wasn’t me. I swore when I came here, I would do things differently. I’m hoping to make some friends who won’t stab me in the back the second I turn around.

Jake:  That’s gonna be tough to find here.

Me:  Are you telling me you’re a closet bitch??

Jake:  Very funny. Hell no. I meant girls. 

Me:  Annie, Maggie, and Katie don’t seem that way. Not all girls are that way.

Jake:  Speaking of girls. How’s the research going?

Me:  Maggie is out surveying. 

Jake:  Sweetness.

Then I text Dawson.

Me:  Love your status. Hate the comments.

Dawson:  Sorry, Keatie :( They just think we made out.

Me:  Jake saw your hand up my skirt. I’m pretty sure he knows it was more than that. Plus, you just said hell, yeah. Making out doesn’t usually get a hell, yeah.

Dawson:  Oh…

Me:  Do you want to tell people?

Dawson:  No, but it’s kinda fun to have them guessing, I never…never mind. I’ll tell them to stop.

Me:  Naw, it’s okay. Have fun, just keep them guessing. 

Dawson:  You make me feel so amazing. 

Me:  Doesn’t every guy say that after sex?

Dawson:  You don’t get it. YOU make me feel amazing. Yeah, the sex is great, but it’s because it’s with you. Go out with me.

Me:  (:  And no freaking way!!!

Dawson:  I’m hurt!

Me:  Then don’t ask a girl to go out by text. It’s tacky. Plus, then you will think it’s okay to break up with me by text, and that is not cool.

Dawson:  I’m not going to break up with you. Like ever. 

Me:  Promises, promises.

Dawson:  Made good on my promise earlier ;)

Me:  Yeah, you did. 

Dawson:  Night, Keatie.

Me:  Night :)

Me:  Hey wait, we’re taking a poll. How long do you think a girl should make a guy wait for sex? Like not us, but normally.

Dawson:  I think what we did was perfect. Seriously :)

Me:  You’re so sweet <3

Annie is still rambling on. “Ace just said, We gonna kick some ass Friday night? and then Brad said, Fuck yeah. Have you met Brad yet? He’s pretty active. Captain of the football defense, Social Committee, and on pretty much everything else.”

“I haven’t met him yet, but I think I know who you’re talking about.”

“Oh, wait, it’s gone. Oh, awhh, ohmigawd, Dawson just changed his status. It says, Keatie and then there’s a heart. That is so cute.”

Katie says, “That is really cute. You need to like that.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, I’m liking it.”

“Everyone is liking it,” Annie informs us. “Like eight people have already liked it.”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Everyone. Mostly guys. Dallas just commented and said, Kiki <3, and Jake just said, Monroe <3.”

Katie says, “Okay. You seriously need to move away from the computer. You’re obsessed. Where’s Maggie?”

“I don’t know,” Annie tells her, “but I need cookies. Let’s go down to the kitchen.”

“Can you bring me back a cookie? I’m gonna be up all night if I don't get to work.”

Katie, who is standing by the door, turns back around. “That’s what they make Red Bull for, silly.”

I get about fifteen minutes of interruption-free studying—well, not really; my phone keeps buzzing with texts, but I don’t look at it—and manage to get my math problems done and start the history vocabulary before they all come bounding back into the room.

“Okay, here’s the consensus,” Maggie says. “Most girls say they have waited anywhere from one day to one year. They say if they really like the guy, they usually wait until they are going out before they do. But if they don’t like the guy and just want a hookup then, obviously, they don’t wait.”

“They’re having sex with guys they don’t like?” I ask.

“No. I mean guys they don’t deem as serious boyfriend types,” Maggie answers.

 “You guys ever watch Sex and the City?”

“I’ve seen some of them and the movies,” Annie states.

“I had a Sex and the City marathon with my friend when she, uh, broke her leg and couldn't do anything.” Actually, that’s not true. It was after Vanessa got her nose done. “Like, for four days straight we did nothing but watch the series. And on there they talk about the third date as being the sex date.”

And didn’t Tommy say something like that too?

“Yeah, but they’re grown up. I think it’s different when you date boys our age. Like, you don’t want to be just doing it with anyone. And you want them to respect you,” Katie says.

“So, basically, there are no rules. You just go with what you feel like?”

Maggie laughs. “Well, no, if we went with what we felt like, we’d all be sluts.”

We all laugh.

Annie says, “It really is hard for girls. I don’t think guys even understand. I don’t think parents understand. They tell us don’t do it; be a good girl. Our bodies tell us we should be doing it. Like, it used to be once you got your period, you were a woman. You got married and had sex. Guys want you to do it, but they don’t want you to do it too soon. And if you don’t do it soon enough, sometimes they’ll dump you. So then you think, I’ll wait until I find a guy who really loves me. But then some guy tells you he loves you, you do it, and he decides he doesn’t. Society tells us not to do it, but then we have all these sexy images of how we should look. It’s really confusing.”

“That’s true,” I say. “I think everyone has to make their own decision. Whatever your age. I think whatever is right for you is what you should do.”

Katie digests it all and says, “True.”

Maggie says, “So, I think it’s a combination of how the guy treats you, how much you like him, if he seems serious, and if he respects you.” Then she adds naughtily, “And then, when you can’t say no any longer, you give in.”

Annie says, “So, we know Katie’s only done it with her boyfriend—wait, have you and Tyrese?”

“No. I can’t with him. I mean, he’s hot and he’s probably good at it, but we’d definitely have to be going out first. And then, I’d still wait some.”

Annie turns to me, “And you’ve been with two guys, and I haven’t done it yet. Maggie, have you ever had a random hookup?”

Maggie says, “Well, yeah.”

“And?!”

“I can’t decide if I’d rather deal with a stupid boyfriend and all the love bullshit, or the shame I feel after I hookup.”

“That’s pretty deep,” I tell her. “Okay guys, I’m calling bedtime.”

I go to sleep, and my dreams are haunted by satyrs, evil love gods, and a centaur with Vincent’s face. Then I’m in a meadow, dressed in a white gown with golden trim. I walk out to the middle of the clearing and meet the man I’m getting ready to marry. He’s blurry, though, because I’m wearing a veil, but I can see from his outline he is very handsome, and in my heart I know that I love him. We have the wedding, say I do, and he kisses me through the veil.

Then he takes me out of the clearing to his dorm room for our honeymoon, and I’m sitting on a chair straddling him, like I was Dawson earlier today.

We are kissing and kissing through the veil, and he’s taking off my wedding gown. Then I’m naked except for my veil, and we’re consummating our marriage.

Finally, he lifts the veil in the middle of the consummation to kiss me. And there, staring back at me, is not the Dawson that I expect to see.

It’s Aiden, wearing a gold laurel wreath around his head.

I wake up sort of throbbing down there.

And wondering, what the hell?