“Yeah,” he answers.

Or maybe I’m not mellowing because I really want more information and everything’s turning up in dead-ends. “That’s it?”

“There’s not a lot to know.”

This cool tension in the air has become an interesting part of being around Bishop. “There’s more to you. And once I decide I need to know, I’ll figure you out.”

Whatever hint of a smile he used to have is gone. “I don’t doubt it.”

I spin and move back toward the exit, feeling a bit like we’ve talked a step too deep on both ends, and I don’t think that’s what either of us wants today.

“But Penny?”

When I turn to face him, he actually looks vulnerable. I stop and suck in a breath, afraid to speak.

“Don’t dig, okay? Not yet.” He swallows once and the air between us is so still that I hear his weight slowly shift. “Please.”

I wasn’t expecting the “please.” The look on his face softens everything in me. What could be so bad? Why is he hiding? I want to make some smart remark, but even I know now’s not the time. “Okay.”

“Thanks.”

The sudden seriousness between us isn’t what I wanted tonight. The handle is still frozen cold as I pull open the door. I need to do something to lighten things up, but I don’t know what to say. Not after he laid himself out like that.

I glance over my shoulder, suddenly knowing exactly how to handle this. “Now you can try to keep up on the way back.”

“Or since I know the way—you can try to keep up with me.”

Despite his grouchy exterior, I think I’m starting to like him.

Chapter Nine

Bishop

Penny is nuts.

Badass and gorgeous, but she’s totally nuts. It’s wild that I like that about her, but she’s fun in a way I don’t ever remember having. Things are simple with her, and even though I didn’t realize it before, I think I might need simple. When were things simple for you, Bishop Riley?

Working with Gramps pops into my head. And riding with Penny. Even my lame nature walks with Gary. If he asked me that same question in this moment, I think I would tell him right now. Right now is when things are simple.

Thoughts like that send shivers down my spine. Easy, yes, but easy isn’t better. L.A. is fun. I like fun.

The only reason I’m doing okay here is because I like giving Penny shit. I don’t know who else I would have enjoyed beating as much as I liked winning our race back to the house the other night.

Yeah, that’s right. I won. Not by much, but a win is a win. And damn it felt good. As good as I can remember feeling in way too long.

My mind flashes back to the lodge—watching her practically break into the place. Key or no key, I’m pretty sure we could have gotten into trouble for being in there, but like everything else, she pushed in with no fear. I wonder if she’s scared of anything. Well, except maybe leaving home.

My cell rings and I hit the button without looking at who it is. “Hello?”

“Bishop. Hey, sweetie. How are you?” Mom’s voice sounds uncertain, and nausea replaces the calm I just felt. Every time I talk to her, I feel like shit. Hate that even though things aren’t as bad as she seems to think they are, I’m disappointing her. She always believed in me, and it sucks that she doesn’t anymore.

I could have almost died…Would Dad still leave her alone if I wasn’t around?

I shake those thoughts from my head. I didn’t die, and they were probably exaggerating. “Hey, Ma. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Do I need a reason to call my son?”

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.” There’s laughter in her voice. “I miss you, Bishop.”

“Then let me come home.” The words automatically pop out of my mouth, and then I feel guilty. I don’t want to take anything out on her, plus, well, I’m actually having a little fun right now. The thought of going back to Don’s demands, the band, all the traveling…Maybe I can look at this like a little vacation. But then considering Dad called before everything went down, I should be with her instead. Relax, Bishop. Don will help take care of her, like he does when you’re on tour. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just woke up from a nap, so my head’s a little foggy.”

She sighs. “That’s okay. I talked to Gary. He says you’re doing well. That you’ve made some friends there and you’ve been snowmobiling. That’s good, Bishop. You could use that. Friends, fun.”

Snowmachining. It’s snowmachining. I scratch my head, not sure what to say. “I have friends and fun at home.”

“Do you?” There’s no doubt in my mind what she means by that question. She’s asking if Maryanne is really a friend. The guys don’t seem to think so. Are they really my friends? I mean, we’re cool. We’ve been tight for a year and a half, but none of them except Blake came to me before telling Don they thought I had a problem. Blake was always calling and checking in with me.

“I wonder if I did the right thing.” Mom’s voice is soft, unsure. “If I should have let you join so young. If it would have been better if you finished school first instead of just getting your GED. Maybe things would have been different if you’d been older.”

My chest tightens. “Everything’s fine. I would have fought you over it if you tried to stop me. You didn’t do anything wrong. Plus…it helped. It got Dad off our backs.”

She makes a soft sniffing sound, and I know she’s crying. I hate that sound. The need to wipe it away takes me over. “And this? The Alaska thing? I’m actually having fun. You did good, Mom. You did good.”

…

I’m a little on edge after my conversation with Mom. On reflex, I pick up my phone and call Pat. I called him to ask about some drumsticks, and we’ve kind of kept talking since. His love of music is unreal. He’s pretty cool for not telling anyone who I am.

When he doesn’t answer, I toss my cell on the table. My package from Maryanne still hasn’t come, and I’ve been out of pills for a couple days. Which has been okay. I’ve been so busy with Gramps and snowmachining and stuff, I haven’t even thought about it. Much. And I’d still be okay now if it wasn’t for talking to Mom…and the game tonight. I’m sketchy that someone’s going to recognize me. I don’t want to, but I know I need to go to Gary.

It takes about thirty seconds to get to his cabin. “Hey.” He pulls open the door. I’m surprised when I walk in and see Troy’s here. Nice. Gary’s getting a booty-call while he’s supposed to be helping me. And maybe I should hate Troy, because he’s the reason I’m in Alaska instead of a beach for my vacation. But then I think about Penny and the snowmachining and Gramps, and I realize I might not be as pissed as I used to be.

“What’s up?”

Troy nods his head at me from the couch. “How do you like my hometown?”

He’s always been quiet, and I’m wondering if this is the first time I’ve heard him speak.

“Yeah…It’s good…I…”…have no idea what to say to him. I heard you like to climb trees doesn’t sound real good.

Luckily, Gary saves me. “Bishop Ripe. How are you this fine day?”

I shake my head. “Funny. Listen, I’m…” I look over at Troy to see if he’s watching us. It’s embarrassing as hell that I can’t even take my doctor-prescribed anxiety meds without my babysitter’s permission.

With a lowered voice, I lean toward him, “I’m not feeling too hot. Can I get one of my pills?”

Gary looks at me, his eyes crinkling a little around the edges. “Yeah…sure. Come with me.” I follow him to his room, and he shakes one pill into my hand. I put it under my tongue and it starts to melt. It tastes like shit but works a lot faster this way.

“Thanks, man.” I pause for a minute, words struggling to come out. “So you really used to do this? Help people who have a problem? I mean, I don’t. I think that’s pretty obvious, but it was your job?”