“You should. Think about it, Scratch. Eventually you’re going to want to leave your mark in someone’s skin. They’re trusting you to create art on their body. You don’t have tattoo experience to show them, but you have some really incredible raw talent that’s going to get their attention. You’d be smart to do it.”
This urge fights to make it to the surface—one that wants to ask her if she really thinks I’m talented. She’s said so before, but words are just fucking words sometimes. They don’t always mean something. She doesn’t strike me as a person who says something she doesn’t mean, though.
And as much as I don’t like them to, her compliment feels good. “Hey—”
Knock, knock, knock.
Turning, I look at the door to see who’s there. Everything inside me seems to shut off in an instant when I see Laney on the other side of the glass.
In what feels like a second, I’m standing, unlocking the door, and pushing it open. “What happened?” Adrian stands behind her. His friend Colt is behind him and Colt’s girlfriend, Cheyenne, is next to Colt.
Then I’m disconnected for a different reason. Nothing’s wrong, but they’re all here, pushing their way into the only part of my life that actually feels like it’s mine. It’s a clash of my worlds. Laney doesn’t feel like she belongs here.
Laney says, “I didn’t know the shop was closed today. I want a tattoo.”
“Me too!” Cheyenne pipes in from behind them.
“We’re closed.” Which they obviously know. My hand tightens on the door handle, selfishly not wanting to share this with them.
“Who’s this?” Bee walks up behind me and grabs the door. It takes everything inside me to let her open it.
I’m going to kill my sister. She won’t look at me because she knows I’m pissed. Before she came down here, she knew I would be. “My sister.” I fight to keep my voice steady.
“Laney,” she says, looking at Bee. “This is my boyfriend, Adrian, and this is Colt and Cheyenne.”
“Hey.” Bee nods at them. “You want ink?”
“We’re closed,” I remind her.
Bee doesn’t hesitate to lock her eyes with mine. “And I own the shop, so I can change that whenever I want.” She pulls the door open wide and all four of them file inside.
My hands sink into my pockets so no one will see how tense they are.
“Yeah, I wanted to get something. Cheyenne too. Like I said, I didn’t know you’d be closed, though. We can come back,” Laney tells her.
“Nah, it’s cool. We can do this.”
“What are you talking about, Laney? You’ve never said you wanted a tattoo.” I step between her and Bee. I’m not completely sure why it bothers me so much—maybe because it doesn’t feel like something my sister would do? Because it’s easier for me to keep my worlds separate? It feels wrong.
“So. I do now. What’s wrong with that?”
I know why she’s doing this. It’s because of me. She’s trying to do what she always does and fit herself into a situation so she can try and fix things or check on me. How many times can I tell her I don’t need her to fix me?
“Where do you want me to start? Don’t be stupid.”
“Hey.” Adrian grabs my arm. “Back up. You talk to her like that and we’re going rounds again.”
I jerk my arm away. Who the fuck does he think he is? I’m her family. I’m the one who’s supposed to take care of her. I’m the one who failed her. Failed them all.
“And I’ll kick your ass again.”
He steps up and Laney grabs him. I try to step forward, too, but then… Bee grabs me.
“Hey… Scratch.”
My body’s tight, so fucking tense, my jaw locked. It would feel good to hit Adrian again. To hit something, but then, as if on autopilot, I’m turning to face Bee instead. “What?” I grit out.
“What? She’s too good for ink? I’m not and you’re not and all the people you plan to tattoo in the future aren’t, but it’s a big fucking deal if it’s your sister?”
My jaw starts to slacken. “That’s not what I meant.” Is it? “She’s being impulsive and that’s not usually like her.”
Bee’s green eyes penetrate the fog around me. Work through this anger that I don’t get about my sister getting ink. The urge to pull away tugs at me, wants me to escape so she can stop trying to read me.
She lowers her voice, looking at me pointedly. “She’s a big girl. Don’t worry about it, Scratch. I’ll take care of her.”
The honesty in her words rolls through me. It’s a stupid thing to get pissed about, I get it, but she’s my sister and I don’t want anything for her that’s not perfect. She deserves it. Don’t worry about it, Scratch. I’ll take care of her. I kind of hate that I believe her.
Bee’s hand briefly squeezes mine. Fuck, I hadn’t even realized she was holding it. I yank away.
“Whatever.” Eyes on the desk, I walk over and lean on it. Bee starts talking to Laney, getting ideas about what she wants. My sister keeps glancing at me before looking at Bee again. Adrian has his hands on her hips, not letting go of her, while Colt and Cheyenne walk around, looking at the pictures on the walls.
I see the questions in Laney’s eyes, but I fight to ignore them, even in my own head. She’s trying to see something in the fact that I quit arguing. It’s a tattoo. It’s what I want to do with my life. Not a big deal.
Then why was it at first?
Bee walks over as Adrian and Laney head to the chair.
“Look at you, being such a papa bear over your sister. Tsk, tsk. It’s only a little ink.” She fingers the tattoo on my arm, and I jerk away again.
“You’re pouting. She wants two Chinese symbols. It’s not a big deal.”
“Of what?” I grunt because at least if she’s going to get work, it should be something cool.
“Love, I’m assuming for him.” She nods toward Adrian. “And family for her brother.”
Her words hit me harder than the satisfied look on Bee’s face. It does exactly what it’s supposed to, guilt spreading through me like wildfire.
I look at the four of them on the other side of the room and whisper, “It’s not a big deal. I really don’t care if she gets inked. We’ve been through a lot. I don’t like to see her hurt. I don’t want her to have any regrets.”
There’s movement in the corner of my eye, so I glance back at Bee. Her head’s cocked a little, her eyes trying to work me out. As if she realizes it, she straightens up and offers me a small smile. “I said I’d take care of her. Come watch. That’s what you’re here for, right?”
I nod because she’s right. “I’ll set up,” I tell her before walking away. Bee sits down at the desk and prints out the images for Laney’s piece.
As I walk to the sink, my sister steps up to me. “Still freaking out over nothing?”
“Nope.”
She pauses. I hate that fucking stall because I know it means she’s going to say something I don’t want to hear. She’s always trying to look for emotional shit that’s not there. She wants to analyze me when I don’t need it. “You… you listened to her.”
My jaw ticks, but I don’t turn to look at her. “I don’t listen to her. It’s not a big deal.”
Without another word, I wash my hands before getting everything set up. Only a few minutes later, Bee’s placing the thermographic transfer paper to the back of Laney’s neck, leaving the two symbols behind.
“Look good?” she asks my sister after handing her a mirror. Laney uses the refection from the one behind her to check it out.
“Perfect,” she answers before looking at Adrian.
“So sexy, Little Ghost,” he replies before nuzzling her neck.
My body tenses up when Laney leans over the chair. Adrian sits in front of her, smiles, and grabs her hands. I watch as he raises one to his mouth and kisses it. I feel like a pervert for watching them, but I don’t fucking get it. I don’t understand that need to touch and hold someone, or how it helps when things are shitty. But it does help her, because I see the nerves leak from my sister’s body, which makes the same thing happen to Adrian.