Jase returned with a small glass of amber-colored liquor. “Scotch,” he said, handing it over. “It should help.”

I took a sip and winced as it burned my throat. “Whoa.”

“The second drink will be easier.” He held the entire bottle and took a swig, obviously a pro at drinking the fancy stuff.

He’d been right. The second drink was easier and the third even more so. When I finished, I placed the glass on the coffee table.

“Did it help?” he asked, placing the bottle beside my glass.

Did it? I turned to him. “I want . . . want to sleep.”

His expression softened. “That’s probably a good idea.”

Yes. That did sound like a magnificent idea. “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course I’ll stay with you. There’s no way I’m letting you be by yourself tonight.”

I scooted toward him and looped my arms around his neck. “Thank you so much for coming.”

He returned the embrace. “You don’t have to thank me for this.”

“But I do. I don’t know what I would be doing if you weren’t here. Probably losing my mind. I just . . .” I didn’t finish. Gratitude swelled in me. “Thank you.”

Jase dropped a kiss to the top of my head, and I found it hard to disentangle my arms from him. I found an old, oversize shirt of Cam’s to wear to bed while Jase investigated the extra bedroom.

“Sorry. I can’t sleep in Cam’s bed. Too weird.”

I limped into the extra room and eyed the full-size bed that had a blue comforter neatly tucked in. “Isn’t this Ollie’s old room?”

Jase glanced over his shoulder. His gaze was quick, but I didn’t miss that he was taking in all the exposed flesh. Cam’s shirt slipped off one shoulder and the material ended midthigh. If I bent over, someone would be getting an eyeful of my undies.

He looked away as he widened his stance by the bed. “Cam actually replaced the bed and stuff because the old one belonged to Ollie. Sometimes I stay here.”

“You sure?”

Jase chuckled. “I would not sleep in the same bed as Ollie unless it’s been disinfected.”

My lips twitched. “That’s mean.”

“Uh, you didn’t want to sleep in his bed either,” he pointed out as he faced me. “That boy has been around. His bed has had more action than a subway train.”

I cracked a grin.

His eyes lightened. “There they are.”

“What?”

“The dimples.”

I smiled.

“Even better.” He swooped down, kissing the one on my left side and then the right. “I love them.”

In spite of everything, my chest warmed and I knew it had nothing to do with the liquor. The warmth lasted until I climbed into the bed that smelled like fresh linen and Jase disappeared back into the apartment, checking the door and grabbing some water for himself.

Shivering again, I tugged the comforter up onto my shoulder and curled onto my side, my back to the door. When I closed my eyes, I saw a set of pale legs and limp arms.

Why did she do it? Nothing, no matter what it was, was worth ending a life over. Tears pricked at my eyes and spilled over. Debbie and I weren’t extremely close, but that didn’t seem to matter. My heart hurt for her anyway.

I heard the door shut softly and quickly wiped at my cheeks. The light beside the bed turned off and there was the sound of clothing rustling and falling to the floor. My heart stuttered. The bed dipped and Jase rose up behind me. Somehow, in the darkness of the room that smelled like coconut and vanilla, his fingers found the tears on my cheeks, brushing them away. He said nothing as he curled his body around mine, securing his arm around my waist.

The warmth of his bare chest pressed along my back and down my legs, but it was like half of my body was in a pile of snow while the other half was cozied up to a fire. I tried closing my eyes once more, but the image of Debbie appeared again and I shuddered.

“Don’t think about it.” He tightened his arm.

“I can’t stop seeing her,” I admitted after a few moments. “When I close my eyes, I see her hanging there—” I cut myself off. I didn’t want to think about this or feel anything. He shifted behind me, and I focused on the way he felt, tucked so close, his body so warm and hard. I could lose myself in him. Once the idea formed, it seemed like another brilliant idea. Jase could make me forget, even if it was for only a little while.

I wiggled my hips, and I felt him tense. “Jase?”

“Yeah?” His voice was deep and gruff.

My cheeks burned when I spoke again. “Make me forget.”

His chest rose sharply against my back. “What are you asking for?”

“You,” I whispered.

He took another deep, dragging breath. “Tess . . .”

“I feel so cold.” I rolled onto my back and turned my head toward him. Our faces were inches apart. “I don’t want to feel that way. Please, Jase, I want to feel warm. I don’t want to think. I don’t want to see her hanging there. Please. Take it away. Even if it’s just for right now.”

I moved, rolling until I was half on him. My right leg, brace and all, slipped between his legs, and I folded my hands against his hard chest. Before he could tell me no, I placed my mouth to his, kissing him. At first, he didn’t respond, like I had shocked him with my boldness. I tried to remember if I had ever been the one to initiate a kiss before; other than the night after the party, I didn’t think I had been. And even that night, I hadn’t kissed him.

I’d kissed something else.

To be the one initiating something now after such a tragic event left a bad taste in my mouth, but I pushed that feeling away, shoving it among the other bad feelings I didn’t want to experience.

His lips were firm and warm under mine, absolutely perfect. And then they moved, gently following my lead. I moaned as our tongues met and the kiss deepened, spreading warmth down the front of my body. Tiny flames of desire curled low in my belly.

Jase gripped my upper arms and anticipation swelled, about to burst as I felt him harden against my hip. I expected him to pull me closer, to smash our bodies together, but . . . he lifted me off him.

My eyelids snapped open. “Why?”

His features came together in the shadows, taut and harsh. “Not like this, Tess.”

That’s not what I wanted to hear. I pressed my weight down, causing him to groan in a way that made me ache between my thighs. He shuddered as I dipped my head, catching his bottom lip. I sucked and nipped at the flesh until his hips punched up, grinding against me. A fire moved through my veins and this—yes, this—was what I needed right now. To forget. To be warm. To live.

Jase shifted and without any warning, I was on my back and he was on top of me, his thickness pressing between my legs. Shards of pleasure darted through my veins. My back arched as I lifted my left knee, settling him deeper.

“Jesus Christ, Tess . . .” He caught my wrists, pinning them down. His chest was rising and falling rapidly. “We are not going to do this.”

I rocked my hips, and he pulsed against me. “I think he disagrees.”

He choked on a laugh.

When I moved against him again, his grip on my wrists tightened. “Don’t you want me?”

“Fuck,” he ground out. “I always want you. I’ve wanted you for years. I want you in every position known to man.” Pausing, he dropped his forehead against mine. “But our first time isn’t going to be after something like that, when you just want to forget what you saw and what you’re feeling.”

Heart pounding, I stared up into his eyes. “Our first time?” I repeated dumbly, as if it just occurred to me that we hadn’t done the deed yet.

“I want you to only be thinking about me. I want you to be focused on me because you want to be and not because you are trying to escape something,” he said, and slowly loosened his grip. “I don’t want what will happen between us to ever be overshadowed by something else.”