Stella swallowed hard and did her best to step off the train speeding straight toward Awkwardville. “Um, yeah. I know I was distracted a lot. I just had a lot going on and—”

“And I was too lame to hold your attention?”

She shook her head. “No. God, Nash. It so wasn’t—”

“Please, if you ever cared about me at all, do not say, ‘It wasn’t you, it was me.’ My pride will shrivel up and die. And my dick probably will too.”

She laughed, despite his pained expression. She did her best to console him. “But it was me. I threw myself into studying, into being perfect and making perfect grades. Between being a TA, my internship, and classes, there just wasn’t much left for a relationship. None of that is on you.”

His forehead creased for a moment before he grinned. “Okay, so it was you.”

“It was. It so was.”

“Not to be an ass or anything, but can I ask why you felt like you had to be so perfect all the time? Wasn’t it kind of…”

“Exhausting?” she finished for him. “Yeah, it was. But I’ve always been that way. I don’t really know why.”

Well that wasn’t exactly true. She knew why. It was the same reason she’d raced all those years, the same reason she’d practiced day and night, taken extra riding lessons, and done whatever it took. Every time she ventured into anything—riding, school, work, any of it. She’d tell herself that if she could just get it right, just be the best, be undeniably flawless, her daddy would finally look at her, really look, and tell her he was proud of her. Or maybe even just acknowledge that she existed.

But no matter how pleased her mom was with her riding, her awards, or her grades, her dad had the same response. A passing nod. A grunt that sounded like, “All right.”

She swallowed the painful, jagged lump of rejection that rose in her throat whenever she let herself think about him and focused on the handsome man-boy across from her.

“Nash, if you came here to talk about—”

“I came here to visit Cain. And because I wanted to see you. So I could apologize.”

Stella was confused. “Apologize for what exactly?”

Nash stared down at his hands on the table. When he looked up, his smile was heavy with regret.

“For not trying harder. For not making the kind of effort I should have.” He smirked when he saw what probably looked like detached amusement on her face. “Not that it matters now. But for the record, if I could do it over again, I would’ve been less self-centered, less involved in the Phi Kap stuff, and paid more attention to you, tried to figure out what you needed from me.”

“I don’t understand.” Where in the world was all of this coming from? Why now? Why here? “Did something happen with you and Tess?”

She didn’t keep in touch with her roommate, didn’t really pay attention to her own social media accounts much less anyone else’s, but she figured she’d have seen something if they’d broken up. And she didn’t expect that breaking things off with Tess would send Nash back in her direction. The truth was, she’d never actually needed anything from him. Which may have been why it wasn’t too hard to let go.

“No.” Nash shook his head. “Everything’s good. Tess and I are great. Just…I don’t know. After graduation, starting my big-boy job at my dad’s law firm, I guess I’ve had more time to think about things.” He lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “And sometimes, you run across my mind. The beautiful distracted girl who was mine for a brief moment in time.”

“How poetic.”

Stella’s entire body jolted to life at the low rumble of Van Ransom’s voice from beside her. She and Nash both looked over at the man casting a dark shadow over their table.

“Hate to interrupt you there, Shakespeare. But I need to speak with you, Miss Chandler. Now, please.”

His eyes had darkened enough that she could see her reflection in them. She didn’t want to think about why or how this man did things to her heart and lungs that made her especially aware of them.

“Um, okay. Nash, can you excuse me for just a moment?”

“Sure thing.” He raised an eyebrow but said nothing else as he leaned back in his chair.

She stood, smoothing her skirt and feeling completely off balance as she followed Van over to a secluded corner beside a large plant.

“Mr. Walker,” she began through gritted teeth. “This really isn’t the time for a testosterone showdown. Not that my lunch companion is any of your business, but just so you know, Nash and I—”

“Slow down, cowgirl. Right now, I honestly don’t give a single solitary fuck who you have lunch with.”

“Okay,” she said slowly, trying her best to remain calm despite his harsh words and his livid tone. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. What can I do for you?”

His clenched fists sent his muscles twitching and flexing up his arms. He was even more lethal when he was angry. The heat of his anger pulled at that dormant beast inside her that longed for his attention. For his touch.

Van met her eyes, confidence shining brightly in his own. Clearly she hadn’t done such a great job of not checking him out. “My manager made a mistake. He gave someone here contact information for a woman named Vanessa Reeves. She might be on the list to contact about coming to a family session. It’s vital that she is removed and that no one contacts her or tells her that I’m here.”

Stella nodded. “Got it. Vanessa Reeves. Consider her removed from your contacts.”

Relief smoothed his features visibly. “Thank you.”

“Anything else I can do for you?” Making him feel better filled her with a sense of accomplishment and the offer tumbled from her lips without her even thinking the words.

One side of his mouth lifted and the wicked gleam retuned to his eyes. “That’s a list for another day. Enjoy your lunch.”

With that, he walked away, leaving her gaping at his retreating figure. Frustration boiled to the surface as she made her way back to where Nash was sitting and waiting for her.

“Was that who I think it was?”

Stella didn’t answer. She was still silenced by the shame of having the nerve to think he’d be jealous. He’d stepped in that day with Dr. Tyler because the man had been inappropriate with her. Just because he’d admitted he wanted to sleep with her didn’t mean he cared what she did with anyone else. And she’d jumped to a humiliating and false conclusion just now. But the fact that Van had risked his anonymity to enter the part of the Atrium that wasn’t private, and on visiting day when anyone could see him and announce to the world that he was here, told her that at the very least, he wanted that woman removed from his list more than he valued his privacy. And here she’d thought that urgency had to do with her. Shame heated her face.

“I’m an idiot,” she said absently—unintentionally out loud.

“Huh?” Nash looked at her like she’d completely lost her mind. “No you’re not. Why would you say that?”

She shook her head. “Never mind. Ignore me. I’m… I’m a little off today.”

A low chuckle from across the table surprised her. “Nah, you look okay to me. In fact, I feel like I just caught a glimpse at a side of you I wasn’t supposed to see. The human side.”

“What are you talking about?” Her mouth went instantly dry as she searched her brain for anything that had just happened with Van that might’ve sent the wrong message to bystanders.

Nash paused, smiled knowingly at her, and tilted his head toward the direction Van had gone in. “I used to try to make you mad. Just to get a reaction out of you. Something. Anything. I never could.”

She felt her eyes go wide. “You what?”

“It was dumb. And pointless. I see that now.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “Apparently the lead singer from Hostage for Ransom has much more of an effect on you than I ever could.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Nash. I need to get back to work. But please, do me a favor and don’t mention to anyone that you saw him here.”