“How’s that self-control working for you right now, cowgirl?” He smirked at her. “Still got enough for both of us?”
He lowered her gently to the ground as she continued to pout while straightening her clothes. She didn’t meet his gaze as he watched her try and reclaim some sense of dignity. Or maybe her equilibrium. He had no fucking clue where his had gotten off to.
“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing with me, Mr. Ransom, but I don’t much care for it,” she huffed out.
Van couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. “Oh yeah? Baby, I can promise you, you will enjoy the fuck out of any and all games we ever play.”
Her brows dipped downward but her mouth quirked up, exposing her interest.
“Glare all you want. How wet are you for me right now, Stella Jo?”
Lines appeared in her forehead as she crinkled her nose at him. “Keep playing hot and cold with me and you’ll never find out.”
Van reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Baby, I am always hot for you. I’ve been burning the fuck up since the first time I laid eyes on you.”
Her voice was whisper-soft when she spoke. “We’re past the point of denying ourselves, Van. I think you know that.”
He nodded. “I know.”
He watched as she swallowed hard and her bright eyes round with vulnerability met his. “If we do this and we get caught, I’ll lose my job. But now, after…after that, if we don’t… If you never so much as touch me again, I’m afraid I’ll lose my mind.”
He fought off an idiotic grin. Mother of God. This woman did the strangest things to him. His reactions to her had become uncontrollable and unpredictable.
“That makes me ridiculously happy to hear from your sweet mouth.” He winked at her, but his mind was working overtime. “Listen, after thirty days I get my own private residential suite behind the—”
She opened her mouth to interrupt, but he placed his fingers over her lips. He didn’t know much about love—as in what it would be like to be in love with another human being—but he was pretty sure he was already in love with her mouth. He’d already spent hours upon hours imagining it on his, on his skin, on his cock.
“—main building. And since I’m helping you out down here, you stopping by from time to time to check in wouldn’t raise any red flags. Just as it won’t be too alarming if I’m coming and going in and out of your place every now and then.”
Using the words coming and in and out had been a mistake and his dick was lodging a formal complaint.
She opened her mouth again, and Van heard her arguments in his head before she’d uttered a single syllable.
“I know what you’re going to say,” he began, pressing his fingers firmly against her lips once more. “But we aren’t horny teenagers sneaking in and out of each other’s bedroom windows. We are grown-ass adults who can handle this discreetly.” He knew he sounded desperate, but he felt desperate, dammit. He’d had a taste of her, and there was no limit to what he’d do for more.
Beneath his fingers, Stella Jo smiled. A sight that both froze and warmed his cold, dead heart all at once.
“You have no idea what I was going to say.” She arched a brow, challenging him to argue.
“Okay. Enlighten me, cowgirl.”
Covering his fingers with her soft supple ones and removing them from her mouth, she met his stare. “I was going to say… How much longer until you’ve been here thirty days?”
Chapter Fifteen
I have lost my ever-loving mind.
Stella Jo’s inner voice of logic admonished her over and over as Van walked her to her door. Every step took her in the direction of reason. Of telling him she didn’t know what had come over her. They couldn’t do this. It was risky. Impulsive. Dangerous.
Forbidden.
Nash’s words echoed, flashing in neon red behind her eyes.
“Some sins are worth it.”
And looking over at the beautiful, brooding man beside her, he was the epitome of a sin she’d bet would be more than worth it.
Her entire life, she’d played by the rules. Tried to be perfect. For her mom, her dad, her teachers, her professors. The few boyfriends she’d had, she’d gone along with any plans they had, never complained about last-minute cancellations or hurt feelings. She’d shouldered rejections, breakups, and betrayal with a poker face of stone. She’d smiled. Nodded. Kept her cool. Played it safe in every single aspect of her life.
But when she rubbed a hand up her arm to soothe the prickly bumps that had arisen from the cool air against her damp skin and the man standing on her doorstep reached out and placed both of his arms around her to warm her, playing it safe became a foreign concept. One she no longer had any use for.
“Why me?” she finally whispered, looking up at him as he warmed her in places he probably didn’t even realize.
For a lingering second, he was silent. Gunmetal-gray eyes darkening thoughtfully, a crease appearing between his brows. Full, masculine lips pressed together as his angular jaw tightened.
“What do you see when you look at me, Stella Jo?”
She couldn’t answer immediately, not having expected him to answer her question with a question.
Reaching up, she placed her hands on either side of his face as she had before. Their brief encounters flashed behind her eyes. The way she’d reacted when they’d bumped into each other, literally, the first day. How kind he’d been when he’d found her crying later. Stepping in when Dr. Tyler had been abrasive with her. Spending his nights helping down at the barn instead of getting God knows what kind of sexual favors from the nurses. Even the horses liked him. Despite the cocky demeanor and the tattoos and the brutish way he talked to her, there was gentleness there. She could feel it in the way he touched her, the way he watched her—affectionately. Something protective warring with something possessive.
“I see you,” she said softly. “When I look at you, I see a man capable of so much more than he knows. I see a man who could make me feel things I’ve never felt.” She swallowed the thickening lump in her throat so that she could continue. “I tried so hard to fight it, but I guess I’m not as strong as I thought I was.”
“That’s why you,” he said, leaning down and allowing his nose to nestle against hers. “Because you don’t see money and fame or a singer in a band. Or tattoos or rough edges. Or even how you could use me to get what you want. You see me. And for the record, I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“I-I’m, I’m… We’re…” She shook her head as if she could clear her emotions out of the way long enough to think. Or at least breathe steadily long enough to calm her trembling body. It didn’t work. “I wish you could stay. The night. With me, I mean.”
A mischievous grin began to work its way across his mouth. His warm breath tickled her face. “I know what you meant, cowgirl. I wish I could too.”
“Soon?” She was ready to beg if need be. Somehow every negative consequence of their being together was outweighed by her need for him.
Van took her hands in his and squeezed. “Soon.”
“How?” She glanced around. Even though Jesse was gone for the day, there were other employee residences nearby. If someone saw them in this intimate position, the rumors would run rampant. And if Stella got her way, there’d be truth behind those rumors.
Taking a step back as if he could read her concerned thoughts, Van released her hands and sighed. “I don’t know exactly.” A smirk danced across his lips and heated her to her core. “Well, I know how as far as the technical aspects go. But how as in how the fuck we’ll do this without getting caught…that’s probably going to take some seriously strategic maneuvering.”
Stella’s mind whirled with the many strategic maneuvers she’d like to work out with this man. Her body began to tingle as the idea of him stripping her down and making her scream took hold.