Like hell it was.

Van stood abruptly. What was the fucking point of all of this? Needing her? Letting her in? She knew his story, knew about Val. And she’d taken the fuck off anyways. Maybe that was what had finally driven her away. She’d given up on him. He couldn’t really blame her. He’d given up on himself a long time ago.

“She left this for you.” Dr. Ramirez slid a white envelope across the table. “She gave it to Dr. McLendon, but Miranda suspected you might not wait around for her to give it to you.”

Smart lady. He half-hated these intellectually superior people pegging him as if he were suddenly the picture of predictability.

But he took the envelope, catching a whiff of her scent as he did, and his anger began to dissipate.

“I’ll let you read it in privacy.” Before the doctor left, he held the door half open and made eye contact with Van. “Son, I’ve lived a few more decades than you. So at the risk of you destroying my office, I’m going to give you some advice.”

Van nodded, her letter burning a hole in his hand.

“Sometimes, it’s best to accept someone as they are. And sometimes, it’s necessary to allow them the time they need to become the best version of themselves.”

His chest heaved as his breathing elevated. “I don’t know which one of us you’re referring to exactly.”

The man met his stare and Van got the ‘my point exactly, dumbass’ sentiment immediately.

The door closed with a gentle click, and Van opened her letter. He wanted to tear through it, to devour every word. And at the same time, he wanted to read it at a snail’s pace. Slowly savor the one thing he had left of her.

The paper was stiff and creased. The noise grated against his exposed nerves as he unfolded it.

My Dearest Mr. Walker,

My hands are shaking as I write this. Because I know how very angry you’re going to be at me. I know how shameful it must look for me to leave this way, stealing our goodbye like a thief in the night. And I am praying this doesn’t hurt you in the way that losing your angel of darkness did. Because this is not goodbye forever. I hope you see that.

Please know, if there were any other way, I would have done it differently. But the ranch has policies, and they have proof. We were not always careful and I take full responsibility for that. I lost myself in you, in us. And I’m not sorry. Because in losing myself, I found my soul. But if I would’ve cost you your career, rendered all of your hard work these past few months pointless, I never would’ve forgiven myself. Please try and understand. This was the only way.

I didn’t say goodbye because my hope is that when you have finished the program at SCR, when you have returned to your real life, your rock star existence, you will think of me. Because you can be certain, whenever your plane touches down or the stage lights go up, in those brief moments of silent stillness, I will be thinking of you. Always.

You are so much stronger than you believe yourself to be. I am so grateful that you shared your strength with me. I am going home in hopes of discussing Grace’s Haven with my parents. You were right. It’s time to find my own way. Just as you will find yours. No more hiding from my future. I can only wish on stars in hopes that you’ll be a part of it. I didn’t say goodbye because I refuse to believe that our story is over. It will never end, because you are a part of me. A permanent part. You were right. I belong to you. Our paths will cross again. Because I love you. I am yours always. No matter where we are.

Love,

Your Cowgirl

Her letter clutched in one hand. He used the other to shatter every piece of glass within reach.

It all had to be broken. Like his heart.

But because he’d actually grown a conscience at some point, he left a quick note assuring Dr. Ramirez that he would pay for the damages. That was the easy part.

I won’t run, she’d said. But she had.

How he would repair the damage she’d done to him, he had no idea.

“He checked out last week, Stella. He might get billed for a few thousand dollars in damages, but he completed the program successfully.”

She let out a huge sigh of relief at Miranda’s words, though she could only imagine what he’d damaged. “Thank God. I was so worried that my leaving would…” She couldn’t finish. It felt arrogant to assume he wouldn’t be okay without her. That her absence would break such a strong man.

“He’s hurting, that’s for sure,” her friend said softly. “You know I can’t reveal anything said in therapy. But I can tell you that he came to say goodbye to me, and he asked if I’d spoken to you.”

Stella’s heart leapt into her throat. “He did? What did you say?” she croaked out over the wounded organ in her esophagus.

“I told him about your parents selling the ranch and that it was of my professional opinion that he should get his life settled and contact you when he felt ready.”

Stella nodded even though her friend couldn’t see her through the phone. “Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a favor, Stella. It was the truth.”

She wiped at the slick tears leaking down her cheeks. “Still on for drinks next weekend? I might be a penniless vagrant, but I’ll splurge on wine and barbecue nachos.”

Miranda laughed. “Wouldn’t miss it. I’ll even buy.”

Stella was thankful that she’d managed to maintain an actual friendship. “Gee, thanks. But don’t be expecting anything just because you buy me dinner and drinks. I might be on the rebound, but I’m not that easy.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Hey, there’s one more thing about…about Van.”

Hearing his name, his real name, stole the air from her lungs. “Y-yeah?”

“It’s been all over the entertainment news channels,” Miranda began. “I don’t know what happened, but he left his band—or maybe they kicked him out. It hasn’t been confirmed either way. But word is they’re going by Hostage now and supposedly he’s going solo.”

Stella’s heart quivered. He was all alone in his corner again. Battling that invisible enemy with no one watching his back.

She closed her eyes and sent up a silent prayer that someone, somewhere would watch over him. Over both of them.

“Thanks, Miranda. I need to finish packing, but thank you for the call. And I’ll see you next weekend.”

They said their goodbyes and Stella sank to the cold hardwood floor.

Leaving him might have been the biggest mistake of her life, but she’d never regret loving him. Even if he never came back to her.

Her parents having left already without much fanfare, other than making her promise to visit, Stella was spending the remainder of her time down at the stables saying her goodbyes to the horses when the black SUV rumbled into the driveway.

Lady Marmalade had been enjoying the attention too much for Stella to just walk out. That had been her one stipulation of the sale. The new owner had to keep the horses and see to their care and upkeep.

Unfortunately Stella hadn’t been able to match his offer, and her parents were nothing if not practical.

She knew she was running out of time and there was still so much to do. Finish packing her things. Sign the lease on her new apartment. Email her résumé to half a dozen companies or more. Update her online employee profile. The money she’d made at the Second Chance Ranch wouldn’t last much longer. The security deposit on the apartment and the company moving her things to her new place would take most of it.

She was determined not to touch the portion of the money her parents had given her from the sale of the ranch. She still held out hope that Grace’s Haven would happen one day. Even if it was on a much smaller property. That was her startup fund.