“And was I all that bad?” Aly attempted a pout, which looked absolutely ridiculous on her because it was so obviously faked. The girl was too nice, too sweet. I kind of wanted to reach over and smooth it out.

“Hell yeah, you were, just because you breathed.” He offered her this mocking smile that earned him another smack to the back of the head.

“Whatever, you loved me, and you know it.”

Aly laughed as she disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom. He turned around in his chair, shouting down the hall. “Hey, Aly, you want to join us for the next hand?”

“Sure,” she called back from what sounded like her room. “Let’s eat first, though. I’m starving.”

A few minutes later she returned. She’d changed out of her work clothes and into the same sleep shorts she chose to constantly taunt me with night after night.

God, the girl had the best legs I’d ever seen.

She was twisting her long hair up into a high ponytail as she walked barefoot into the kitchen. The mixture of her skin and the food she’d brought smelled like heaven.

She cracked open the fridge. “Either of you want another beer?” she asked as she bent down to dig through the fridge.

In my head I was screaming at myself to close my eyes or to look up or to look down or to just look the fuck away.

I didn’t.

Instead I watched.

A curl of lust twisted my stomach into the tightest knot, so tight I had to struggle to get a breath of air into my lungs.

Christopher’s voice broke my trance. “Yeah, I’ll take one.”

I cut my attention in his direction, and eyes so much like Aly’s stared back at me.

I dropped my gaze and mumbled, “Sure, I could use another.”

Aly stood and knocked the door closed with her hip. She had three beers woven between her fingers, their caps pressed together. Maybe there was something inherently wrong with me, but I thought it had to be one of the sexiest moves I’d ever seen.

She set them down on the table. “One for you.” She passed one to Christopher and grinned as she slid one across the table to me. “And one for you.”

“Thanks,” I said.

She twisted the cap off the third and plopped heavily into the chair as she tipped it to her mouth.

“Long day?” Christopher asked as he arched an eyebrow at her.

“Oh yeah.” She released a long breath. “It was superbusy.” A little shrug lifted her shoulders. “Made good tips, but I couldn’t wait for my shift to end.” She began opening the take-out box lids. My mouth watered when I was hit with the heavy aroma of thick red meat sauce and pasta.

I stood. “Here, let me grab some plates and forks.”

She threw a soft smile up at me as I passed. “Thanks, Jared.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Even though it was only three feet away, I stumbled into the kitchen as if it were some kind of oasis in the desert. For a second, I dropped my head as I pressed my hands into the counter and filled my lungs with the deepest breath of air I could find.

Get a grip, Jared.

I gathered myself while I gathered the plates and forks. I walked back out with everything, sat down across from Christopher and Aly, the only true friends I’d ever had, and forced myself to relax.

We all ate together, like we did it all the time – like we’d done so many times before. Our conversation was light, and the food was awesome. We drank a few more beers and played some cards. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so good.

But I did. I felt too damned good.

From across the table, I tried to suppress my amusement. Aly was obviously a lightweight. After three beers, her speech was beginning to hint at a slur. “I need another beer,” she announced, draining the last few drops in her bottle, wobbling a little as she stood. She kind of staggered into the kitchen.

God, she was cute.

“Grab me one, too, would you?” Christopher called.

She emerged with two. “Nah, but Jared can have one.” She winked at me as she slid it across the table to me.

I couldn’t help but smirk.

“Oh, uncool, Aly, uncool,” Christopher mocked, pressing his hand to his chest. “You always liked him better than me, didn’t you, Aly Cat?”

Aly’s mouth puckered in defense. “Oh my God, don’t you dare, Christopher. You two just about gave me a complex when I was little. I can’t tell you how much time I sat in front of the mirror, worrying I looked like some mangy cat. One day Mom found me crying, curled up in a ball in my room. It took her, like, two hours to convince me it was about my name and not what I looked like.”

Aly Cat.

A smile pulled at my mouth, at my thoughts, and a wave of nostalgia slammed me, threatening to knock me off my feet. It washed over me with warmth, and things I didn’t want to remember. Fear tightened my throat. I pushed it down. I’d leave soon, before I could fuck it all up and leave them hating me.

I stood and drained my beer. “I’m going to grab a smoke.”

I was hit by a wall of stifling night air when I escaped outside through the sliding glass door. I closed my eyes and sank to the balcony floor, resting my back against the wall. The concrete floor was still hot as I pulled my bare feet up and bent my knees. I dipped my head to the side to light a cigarette. I drew it in, felt it expand in my lungs, welcomed the mild calm it pulsed through my agitated veins. I rushed my free hand through my hair.

Careless.

Coming back here. Staying here. All of it.

Taking another drag, I looked up as the sliding glass door slowly opened. Aly’s silhouette emerged in the darkness, her movements somehow softer than they’d been inside.

Just to the side and across from me, she slid down onto the floor. Slowly her face came into focus. She drew one leg to her chest, exposing the skin on the underside of her thigh. She tilted her head to the side, and the length of her black hair fell down around one shoulder, all soft and innocent and a little bit infuriating. This girl was either the biggest tease I’d ever met or was completely oblivious of how perfect she was.

For a while we said nothing, just listened to the sounds of the night, and allowed a distinct pressure to build up around us. I rested my forearms on my knees and let my hands dangle down between them. I wasn’t looking at her, but I could feel her looking at me. With the intensity of it, I thought she might as well go ahead and climb inside my head, because she was definitely getting under my skin.

My nerves flared in a way I didn’t quite understand. I didn’t think I’d ever felt so comfortably uncomfortable, like I wanted to bolt and sink into it all at once. Maybe I was finally slipping over the edge of sanity. God knew I’d been heading there for a long time.

I rocked my head back and lifted my face to the starry night sky as I brought the cigarette to my mouth again. I held it in for a long moment and then slowly blew it into the air. Smoke curled over my head, these wisps of nothingness that I studied as they slowly evaporated.

Finally she spoke. “Are you okay?”

Confusion rumbled through me and I let out a slow sound of exasperation. “I don’t know what I am, Aly. Being here is just… I don’t know… It’s hard.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” Studying me, she frowned. “I mean, why did you come back?”

I shrugged as if it made no difference in the world. “I don’t really know.” And I sure as fuck wasn’t going to talk to her about it, even if I did.

Her voice came low, earnest and sincere. “I know you probably think of me as the little girl you used to know, but you can talk to me, Jared.”

My attention dropped to her thigh, rested there for a beat too long. She believed I still thought of her as that little girl, huh? Incredulous laughter slipped out. I took another drag as I shook my head. I chewed at my lip as my eyes found her face. “That’s not how I think of you, Aly.” Not even close.