“Hey, you two,” Aly’s mom shouted from the kitchen, “settle down before you break something.”

Jared’s mom, Helene, called out even louder, “Jared! What have I told you about playing rough in the house? That’s for outside.”

But Helene was smiling when they came into the kitchen. Affectionately she ruffled Jared’s hair as he passed, and then she turned back to piling the containers of food into a basket for their picnic.

Chaos ruled the kitchen. Aly’s dad, Dave, lugged folding chairs from the backyard while their moms put everything they needed in paper sacks, yelling at the boys to get their things together. Jared and Christopher and Aug stuffed firecrackers and sparklers in their pockets.

Aly loved the buzz of excitement in the air.

The Fourth of July was one of her very favorite days.

“Jared, do you think you could help me out?” Helene asked as she maneuvered the basket from the counter and held it out for him to take.

“Sure, Mom.” He came to her side, grinned up at her as he took the handles in his hands.

“You got it?” she asked, her hands poised to help him get a better grip if needed.

“Yep.”

“Thanks, bear,” she said with a gentle smile. She turned back to take Jared’s little sister, Courtney, by the hand and grabbed a paper sack with the other.

Jared’s dad, Neil, hefted an ice chest from the floor and balanced it against his stomach. “Everyone ready? We need to get a move on if we’re going to get a good spot.”

“Ready,” everyone said in near unison.

They all filtered out the front door and piled into the old station wagon Aly’s mom drove. The kids were all cramped in the far backseat, Jared’s arm pressed up tight against Aly’s.

“You excited?” he asked as he looked down at her.

She bounced a little, unable to contain just how excited she really was. “Fireworks are my favorite.”

Jared’s smile was soft. “Mine, too, Aly Cat. They’re mine, too.”

Jared

Twilight spread its fingers across the yard. Oranges and reds and golds rose up and shot from the brink of the distant horizon, bright rays streaking through the sky to clash with the waning blue as all the light was sucked from the sky. A few of the brightest stars had begun to make their mark on the inky canopy above.

And it was hot. Really fucking unbearably hot.

I tugged at the neck of my T-shirt, hoping to find some sort of relief. I pressed a cold beer bottle to my cheek in search of reprieve.

Voices were too loud and too carefree, the crowd laughing and chatting. A steady stream of people had slowly but surely filled Timothy’s backyard far past capacity.

I’d hidden myself in the farthest recesses of the yard, concealed my discomfort in a bottle of beer while doing my best to ignore the constant urges that poked and prodded at me, alerting me that it’d be a really good time to run. I’d developed this perfect radar, a warning system that told me when to grab my shit and get out.

It was blaring now.

With a harsh shake of my head, I rushed a hand through my hair and rubbed at the tense muscles coiled at the base of my neck. If there was any possible place on this earth where I could feel comfortable, this definitely wasn’t it. Holed up at some party with the people Aly and Christopher had come to know, with their friends. Everyone seemed to know each other and they laughed without restraint and talked as if they’d known each other for years. These were all people they’d met after I’d gone and had been erased from their lives.

But how the hell could I say no? I mean, I’d tried to refuse, to come up with an acceptable excuse to convince Christopher that this was a bad idea. But he was insistent.

And the truth was, I fucking missed her. So much it’d become this crushing weight on my chest and an overbearing burden on my shoulders.

Nothing was ever right. But being without her just felt wrong.

The two weeks I’d spent hidden away behind her door had been the best two of my life. I’d almost felt as if I belonged.

Almost.

That was the problem, really. I’d gotten too comfortable, had felt too at ease, had allowed too many unwise words to pass from my mouth.

Worse was I’d gotten too used to how unbelievably good she felt lying next to me.

I’d come to want it. Need it. And it was wrong. It was insanity and stupidity all wrapped into one, selfishness in the extreme. But I wanted her. God, I wanted her. So badly that I’d ignored my conscience and snuck into her room night after night, dipped into her comfort, and taken from the girl who was so good and kind. Aly had welcomed me into her bed as if that was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Like she trusted me.

I wondered what she’d think if she could crawl inside the darkened corners of my mind, if she could witness the fantasies of her that I kept hidden there. If she could see how depraved I really was. How could I lie there beside her and pretend I was just her friend, while I listened to the throaty lilt of her thick laughter and imagined what it’d be like to have her laid out, taking it all? Burying myself in her – her flesh and sweat and sweet and every ounce of pleasure I knew I’d find in the tenderness of her touch. I’d gone so far as to imagine the exact way her lips would part and the expression that would hood her intense green eyes.

I shook my head to chase off the visions invading my mind.

I will destroy her.

My eyes traveled the yard, washing over the groups of friends swarming the space. Water sloshed up from the pool, swelled, and spilled over the side from the movement of the bodies that sought a retreat from the heat. Everyone wore bathing suits or shorts and flip-flops, and here I sat in my jeans and boots.

Not that I cared what anyone thought about me. Christopher had introduced me to most everyone, toting me around the yard as he sang my praises. The guy was cool, that much was for sure. He might have his own issues, but he definitely had my back. Most of the people there looked at me with indifference or mild interest. A few girls had approached me in the last hour I’d been sitting here by myself. But none of them were the reason I was subjecting myself to this abuse.

I found her under the shade of a tree. She was in the same clothes she’d been in the night I’d first seen her, a red tank top with the green straps of her bikini peeking out and wrapping around her neck, the bottoms covered in little white shorts. The girl was perfection personified. Every inch. Every curve. She was laughing and talking with Megan, one of the friends she’d introduced me to earlier.

I searched Aly’s face. A casual easiness had taken her over as she enjoyed the setting sun. Maybe that’s what attracted me to her most, the fact that she was genuine, lacking all the superficial bullshit so many of the girls crawling the backyard seemed to have. But she was also fun, easy to smile. Not to mention she was undoubtedly the sexiest girl I’d ever seen.

She tipped her head back as she laughed, exposing her creamy neck. Dark hair toppled over one luscious bare shoulder and rolled down her back.

Lust curled through my stomach and tightened in the pits of my consciousness.

God.

I dropped my eyes to the dirt under my booted feet.

She had gotten so far under my skin I couldn’t think straight anymore. At least I’d had the strength to put to a stop those tortured nights because they were heading nowhere good – and fast. What I should do was end it all, pack up my things, and leave before I left behind inevitable ruin. It was like I could feel it building. Destruction. I’d never outrun it. It followed me wherever I went. But the last two weeks of existing through the days, avoiding her as much as I possibly could while wishing for nothing other than to be near her, had made it impossible for me to leave.