I froze when I heard the bathroom door open across the hall.
This was it.
The knob to her room rattled as it turned, and I swallowed hard when Aly came into view. Her hand was on the doorknob as it swung open, her body in motion until she stumbled back when she saw me sitting in the shadows. Her hair was wet, and she’d obviously run a comb through it. The length of it fell in long sheets that had deepened to black, and errant strands curled where they clung to her shoulders. She was wearing those same tiny pink shorts and a matching tank, the softness of her breasts swelling at the top, the long stretch of her legs exposed.
Instantly I was hard.
My knee bounced faster as I struggled with the intense urge to run or maybe give in to a repeat of last night.
Motherfucking trigger.
I raked a shaky hand through my hair while Aly remained rooted in the doorway. I couldn’t tell if she was pissed or relieved or confused. Troubled green eyes darted across my face as if they were searching for some sort of clue, and I wondered just how badly I’d injured her when I walked away from her last night.
My jaw ticked, and she just stared.
What the fuck was I supposed to say when she was standing there looking at me like that? When her chest rose and fell in a heavy pant, her eyes wide with surprise, her mouth slack with what looked like relief.
“Jared,” she finally said so quietly. She made my name sound like a statement, maybe even an answer.
She’d wondered if I would return and now I was here. And God, I didn’t want to leave.
Her eyes softened, though her expression remained intense, and her chin lifted as she stepped forward and latched the door. She reached behind her and blindly turned the lock. The little click sounded deafening in the silence of the room, like this overt warning that there’d be no running tonight.
But running was exactly what I’d be doing.
Aly laid the full force of her eyes on me, their intensity pinning me to the hard wooden chair.
Shifting in discomfort, I searched for words in a situation where I didn’t want to speak, because really all I wanted to do was stay. I leaned forward to rest my forearms on my legs, threaded my fingers together, and dropped my head while I gathered my thoughts. Then I lifted my face to meet hers and whispered slowly, “I’m so sorry, Aly.”
“You’re leaving,” she said, the words not so much a question but an accusation.
Straightening, I groaned and scrubbed both palms over my face, dropped my hands back to my lap and looked up at her.
“What else can I do? I’m so sorry, Aly. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what came over me last night… .” It all began to flood, a rush of words that couldn’t be contained in my mouth. I had to get them out so I could get out. I couldn’t be closed in here with her, with her scent and her smile and everything that was Aly that had become the only thing in this world that I wanted.
“I mean, I did fucking know. I was so pissed off because that dickhead wouldn’t stop touching you.” Harshly, I ran my hand over my head and down to my neck, hoping it would quell that feeling that rose in me again, the possessiveness I felt for her like this poison that I had to somehow expel. “It made me fucking crazy, and I fucking ruined it. I’m sorry I ruined it, Aly, but I warned you that I would.” My head tipped to the side, my eyes tightened in emphasis as I tried to make her understand. “I told you I’d make you regret this. I knew this was happen – ”
My words died on my tongue when the expression on her face shifted into something I wished I couldn’t make out. I wanted her to be pissed, to be angry with me the way she should be, but instead she was looking at me a little like I’d been looking at her for the last month. Her eyes were tender, but her lips were parted, and something like need rose and sucked all the air from the room.
I drew in a ragged breath. “Aly… ”
Don’t.
I barely shook my head.
Slowly she began to approach, and I sank farther back into the chair the closer she came, my knee bouncing harder as she timidly inched up in front of me. Her movements were slow, hypnotizing, and I couldn’t stop myself from watching those legs. My eyes darted to her hands. She was rubbing her thumbs over her fingertips as if she were searching for some kind of friction or maybe looking for confidence. My gaze flicked up to meet her face. A color I didn’t understand had darkened her eyes. There was no looking away as she crossed the room, and my head continued to tilt back, locked on her, lost in this place where I knew I absolutely shouldn’t fucking be.
She stopped just a breath from me.
My hands dropped slack, dangled at my sides.
Everything became heavy. My fingers twitched, and I had to force the air in and out of my lungs.
I swore I could actually hear Aly’s heart beating as she hovered in hesitation an inch away. She blinked hard, squirmed before she looked at me with determination. “Jared, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Aly… I… ” What was I supposed to say? Because I didn’t want to leave, either.
I had to.
Erasing the last of the space between us, Aly allowed the front of her legs to touch my knees, and she groaned as if the contact seared her. She wavered, before she reached out to run the back of her hand down my face, testing me. Tempting me.
I stopped breathing altogether when she slowly straddled my lap and murmured close to my ear, “Please… don’t leave me.”
Fuck.
This was bad, really fucking bad. And I knew I should push her away, make her stop because what she was doing was only bringing us a little closer to the edge. She held on to the chair behind me, her warm body pressed into mine. There was no chance she wasn’t feeling just how much I wanted her.
“What are you doing, Aly?” My hands went to her slender hips with the intention of edging her off my lap. Instead my fingers dug into the soft skin.
A shudder sped up my spine when she trembled above me.
Wetting my lips, I tried to move her back but only managed to brush up against her farther. Her expression was severe but soft, her movements shaky but sure. She searched my face, her eyes burning a path as she left me utterly exposed. And I could smell her, and the memory of the way she tasted, the way she felt, overwhelmed every last one of my senses. She didn’t even have to move, and she was already touching me everywhere.
She swallowed, then spoke. “Did you want to kiss me last night?”
“Last night was a mistake, Aly. I – ”
Her hands went to my face, and she held me there, forcing me to look up at her. “I didn’t ask you if it was a mistake. I asked if you wanted to.”
A frustrated sound worked its way free of my throat, and I shifted again, which only brought her closer. Right then I knew there was not a fucking thing I could do because nothing else mattered in the world except for the way she felt pressed up tight against me. My fingers dug farther into her hips, and we were nose-to-nose, Aly’s hands firm on my face. I realized we were moving, our bodies subtly rocking.
I groaned. “I’ve wanted to kiss you every single second of every single day since the moment I opened my eyes to find you standing over me, Aly. But you know we can’t do this.” My voice cracked. “I don’t get to have this. I already told you… you deserve someone who can love you, someone who will be good for you, and you know that’s not me.”
I hoped maybe she’d listen to reason, but instead she crushed her chest to mine and dipped her head to the side. Her mouth came urgent against my neck, and she kissed at a sensitive spot under my jaw that very nearly made me jump out of my skin because it felt so fucking good. And she was sucking and moving and touching and… fuck.
Making her way up my neck, she kissed along my jaw, then lifted her soft lips to mine as she murmured, “Then tell me you don’t want me.”