I spent the rest of the afternoon sequestered in my room.  My mother sent one of the staff up to see if I wanted lunch but I refused to answer the door when they knocked.  She sent her husband up around five to tell me that we were leaving in an hour for the club and while a big part of me wanted nothing more than to wear skinny jeans and my motorcycle boots I decided that having that fight with my mother in front of my half siblings would just make me seem childish and ridiculous so I put on a long sleeved white and purple A-line dress that hit me a few inches above my knee and spent a few minute flat-ironing my hair so that it fell in a slick curtain around my shoulders.  I had a pair of purple booties that had a spiked heel and little studs on the back that completed the look  It wasn’t exactly picture perfect country club gear but it should get me through the front door without too much trouble.

My mother gave me the evil eye as I came down the stairs and Jack helped me into my gray pea coat.  No one said anything as we piled into the family Escalade and headed to the country club.  The kid’s jibber jabbed back and forth and I brooded about Rule and some unknown redhead hoping it didn’t mean what I thought I did and willing the car to get a flat tire so I could avoid Gabe and his family.  It didn’t happen and when we got to the club and I had to force a smile and let Gabe kiss my cheek and pull out my chair and it literally took every single ounce of willpower I had not to run screaming in the other direction.  I settled in between Gabe and my mother and prepared to suffer through the most awkward, awful dinner of my life.

Chapter 9

Rule

“So you want to come clean and tell me why you’re acting like even more of an asshole this week than normal?”  Rome was standing over me while I bench pressed the weight up off my chest.  He had asked me to go to the gym on Saturday because he was supposed to start rehabbing his shoulder.  Even banged up I forgot how cut my brother was.  Working out with him put me to shame and I spent most of the workout trying not to flinch when I noticed how much more weight he was using than I normally did.  Once the bar was locked in place I sat up and ran a towel over my sweaty face and newly shaved head.  I hadn’t cut it all the way to the scalp like Nash wore his, but the mohawk was gone and all I was left with was dark stubble all across my head.  With my eyebrow rings and the tattoos that peaked up my neck I thought it made me look a little like an escaped prisoner.

“Not really.”  I followed Rome as he moved over to the set of free weights and started hefting one back and forth with his bad arm.  It still bothered him because he winced each time he retracted and extended but he didn’t complain and just kept up the reps.  I should tell him I was all bent out of shape over Shaw; he would probably have really good advice to give me because I was pretty sure I was on a path bound to screw up something that was turning out to be amazingly good.  When he left Wednesday to take her to dinner it had been everything I could do not to tackle him and demand to know if she had asked about me, if she was doing okay but then I remembered I was purposely not answering her text messages or returning her calls and figured I would just leave it be.

His eyes met mine in the mirror as his face twisted into a tight grimace of pain.  “It wouldn’t have anything to do with why Shaw looked like a freaking ghost on Wednesday when I saw her, would it?”

“Why would you think one thing had to do with the other?”

“Because I’m not stupid.  She’s had a thing for you for a while and I figured it was only a matter of time before you got your head far enough out of your ass to see it.  Plus both of you have been staring at your phones for the last week like they hold all the answers to the universe and looking like kicked puppies when they don’t have on them whatever it was you’re looking for.”

I swore and worried my lip ring with my tongue.  “You’re really gonna be cool if I tell you Shaw and I have been hooking up? Or are you going to hurt me?”

“As long as it’s more than hooking up I will be cool as hell.  Shaw isn’t one of your one night stands and if you’re treating her like she is I’ll break both your legs.”

I scowled at him and flipped him off in the mirror.  “What do you mean she’s been into me for a while?  She got hammered one night and things got heated and I couldn’t stop it from happening so I figured why not roll with it.  I like her.  I mean I like spending time with her.  She’s fun but she’s always so busy and this weekend she went back to Brookside with her weirdo ex because her mom told her too.  I just don’t know that I can hang out with someone like that.  She’s twenty years old, she should be living her own life, not bowing down to her parent’s every whim.”

“So let me guess, instead of having a rational, reasonable conversation with her about it where you laid out your concerns you probably just shut her out and refused to talk to her while you seethed and festered in your own anger.”

I shrugged a shoulder.

“Rule, Shaw has known you for a long time.  Can you imagine what she’s thinking you’re out doing while you’re ignoring her?  Come on brother use your head for one bloody second.  Is it worth it to ruin it all before you even get it started?  That girl sees you, I mean really sees you and I think she has since the very beginning when everyone was always looking around you to see Remy.  You need to stop being stubborn and make things right with her.”

“She went with her ex, Rome.”

“Yeah and you went out last night and let some skank shove her tongue down your throat.  Not everyone operates off the same script Rule.  Most people want to make their parents happy, want to have them approve with what they are doing with their lives, not everyone can burn every bridge the way you do.  Most people want a way back home.”

I cringed a little because he words hit right at the center of me.  Had I been just a little drunker, just a little stupider I probably would have made a mistake last night that there was no going back from.  Luckily the redhead had tasted like sticky sweet lip gloss and smelled like cheap floral perfume and had none of the softness or perfectness of how it felt being lip locked with Shaw so I had sent her on her way and felt like shit for the rest of the night.  I knew I was going to have to talk to Shaw.  I couldn’t keep going on like this or I was going to purposely end up sabotaging everything that was building between us.

“It freaks me out Rome.”

“Why?”

“You know why.  Once someone is in it kills when they leave.”

“Come on Rule, the people that care enough to get in normally don’t want to leave.  Just look around you, I’m still here, Nash hasn’t gone anywhere, Jet and Rowdy would kill for you and if you took a minute to think about it Shaw has been there just as long.  You might have thought she was there for Remy because he always watched out for you and protected her, but I think you’re smart enough to realize now that maybe she was trying to take care of you for another reason all together.”

He let the weights clatter to the rack with a thud and turned to look at me out of cool eyes.

“Grow up Rule, stop acting like a spoiled brat that can’t live outside his brother’s shadow.  You have an amazing, successful career, a solid group of friends, a family that might be broken but loves you none the less and you have a pretty spectacular girl just waiting for you to realize she’s yours for the taking.”

“Man when you go big brother you go all out.”

He rolled his eyes at me as we made our way to the locker room.  I shrugged back into my street clothes and shot a quick glance at my phone.  My heart constricted in my chest when I saw the message she had sent.  I could practically hear how sad she was in the words.  I really was an asshole; I could have talked to her instead of sending her off with that jackass without a word.  I was trying to think of something to write her back when Rome thunked me on the back of the head with his palm.