“It is.” Has it not hit her that in one race on the streets the pot was five thousand dollars? And that was a slow night.

She leaves the table and begins to pace. “We’re going to do this, aren’t we? We’re going to pay Eric off and be free of him, and my parents will never know what I did. I mean, we have over two-thousand dollars already.”

My mind clears with that info. “How are you coming up with two thousand?”

Rachel repeats the endless loop she’s created from one corner of the couch to another. “I have a thousand. A little over five hundred in birthday and Christmas money. I pawned some jewelry for another five hundred. Oh, Isaiah.” Her face flushes. “We’re close to halfway there. We could pay Eric back before the six weeks.”

She’s a mixture of anxious and excited, and those feelings become contagious. Knots form in my stomach and I think of the million ways I want to touch her and kiss her and let her know that she’s the only one in my life.

What I should tell her is that tonight will be our only money rush. Now that people know how Logan and I race, they’ll either avoid us or not wager as much. I have no doubt we’ll raise the amount we need, but it could still be a struggle.

I also decide to keep it to myself that Eric has eyes on us and that he’ll be unhappy we’re making money.

Rachel finally stops the frantic path she’s wearing onto the subflooring. Her face beams. She’s light in a world full of darkness. Rachel is happy and that’s all I desire.

“We could be together, Isaiah. With no worrying over Eric or debts or anything. We could be happy.”

Electricity shoots into my veins and shocks me as if I’ve never been alive. I stand abruptly, knocking over the folding chair. My heart races and this surge is something unknown. Something I don’t understand. Something that fosters confusion, panic.

Her eyes glimmer with too much adoration; with too much of an emotion I’ve only seen people give to anyone other than me. I see love in her eyes and it scares the hell out of me.

“You need to go,” I say. My voice is deeper than normal and a tremor courses through my body. My eyes burn as a shadow crosses her face, snuffing out all the light. Damn me to hell. I’m the one who created that sorrow. If I stay with her, she’ll never know light and happiness.

“Isaiah,” she says carefully. “I don’t understand.”

“Go home.” I swipe the money off the table and stalk into the bedroom. With three steps, I circle the room and perform the act again. My thinking is messed up, as if I’m high or took a severe blow to the head. My thoughts detach from my mind, away from my body.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” comes a soft voice from behind me.

Why hasn’t she left? “Nothing. I’m looking for a place to hide the money. This is a shitty place, Rachel, and awful things happen here.”

“Like people breaking in,” she says.

That’s exactly what can happen. “Just go.”

Rachel looks small and defenseless as she rests her temple against the door frame. The dim light of the kitchen silhouettes her frame. Obscured by blackness, I can’t see her face.

“You could give the money to me.” Her voice is so soothing that part of me clings to the sound. “Where I live is safe.”

My thoughts collide into one another. The back of my legs hit the bed and I sink onto it. My entire life is one long thick rope full of knots and kinks where people have twisted me inside and out. Nothing about me is solid or sturdy. I’m frayed and tattered. “I’m no good, Rachel.”

I stare at the cash in my hands. My fingers clench and the money crackles. I won’t lead Rachel further into the abyss. This ends here. It ends tonight. “You need to leave and never come back. I’ll race my car. I’ll pay off the debt. Leave and know I’ll always keep you safe.”

Silence. Nothing from her. Nothing from me. I close my eyes, cursing the scorching wetness behind my lids. I don’t want to feel anymore. Feelings hurt too damn much.

Quiet footsteps shuffle in my direction and the cash crackles again in my fist. “Go, Rachel.” My voice is so raw it’s nothing more than a rasp.

The bed moves and sinks to my left. A touch so light I almost believe I’m imagining it presses on my shoulder. “I think I’m falling for you, Isaiah.”

My head dips. I think I’m falling for you, too, and it terrifies me.

The pressure remains on my shoulder as the fingers of her other hand trace the compass tattooed on my forearm. “I don’t know what love is or how it should feel, but I know that when I’m with you I like who I am, and that’s never happened to me before.”

I like who I am when I’m with her. The music below us is soft, lyrical with a steady beat. Elvis’s deep voice sings about suspicious minds.

“I like who you are, Isaiah, and I like how you look at me. But what I really like is the rush that hits me when you’re in the room.”

Because Rachel has always been magic, she gives words to the emotion tearing at my soul. “People don’t attach themselves to me, Rachel.”

She kisses my shoulder, and a shudder runs through my body, igniting every cell. “Then maybe they don’t know you like I do.”

The finger tracing the tattoo slides down to my hands. “Give me the money, Isaiah. Trust me to keep it safe.”

I clutch the money tighter, but as her hands weave around mine, my grip loosens. “Do you understand the trouble, the danger, you’re taking on?”

With her fingers holding on to the cash she whispers, “Yes.”

I place my hand over hers. “Put it down.”

“But, Isaiah...”

I lift my head. “If you say you’re going to keep it safe, I believe you, but right now, I want you to put it on the floor.”

She half smirks with a twinkle in her eye. “You’re bossy.”

“Yes,” I admit. Hear what I’m saying, Rachel. Listen to what a controlling mess you’re falling for. “I am.”

The money hits the floor, and my hands immediately frame her face. She has skin so soft that I worry about damaging her with a gentle touch. Her breathing hitches as my lips come close to hers. I’m going to kiss her. “Tell me I’m who you want.” So I know there are no mistakes.

Her nose slides against mine as she slowly nods. “I don’t want anyone else.”

God help us both for her allowing the devil permission.

Chapter 42

Rachel

THE KISS COMES HOTTER AND faster than before. Our lips move quickly, a hunger grows between us that can’t seem to be quenched. There’s a rhythm, a dance, and somehow, I know the steps. An instinct tells me to follow his lead, to explore even further, to touch.

My hands drift down his back and when I feel scorching skin near the hem of his shirt, I gasp for air. Isaiah moans, and his lips leave mine to travel along my throat. My heart picks up speed as my entire body becomes one live electrical current.

His tongue swirls against the sensitive skin right where my jaw meets my neck. I shiver and press my body closer to his. When he meets my lips again, Isaiah loops his arm around my waist and pulls me farther onto the bed. On our sides, his body heat penetrates past my clothes, past my skin, creating an inferno in my blood.

A sudden coldness causes my eyes to flash open. Kneeling beside me, Isaiah’s hands go behind his head and he yanks off his shirt, tossing it to the floor. A flutter of excitement and nerves trembles in my stomach. I swallow and stare at the golden tiger rippling with the muscle in his arm. Biting my lip, I dig deep for courage. My hand reaches out. Stops. And I curl my fingers in.

“It’s okay, Rachel. Go ahead.” He angles so that the tiger is closer to me.

I outline the tattoo, enjoying its beauty. “I love this one.”

In the beams of street light scattered into the dark bedroom by the slatted blinds, I watch as Isaiah’s eyes melt into silver. “It’s my favorite,” he says. “One day I’ll get a tattoo for you.”