“Now you know.”

After a few more tense seconds, West eases away. “What now?”

“We keep the secret,” says Ethan. “Mom’s happy. Jack’s working on Gavin.”

West becomes a statue. “She knows about Gavin?”

“Yes. She knows he’s out of work.” Something in the way Ethan overpronounces the words makes me question their meaning, but West is finally calming down and I don’t want to risk another eruption.

West’s shoulders visibly relax. “And the speeches?”

“We help her. One of us should go with her to the speeches and deflect Mom if she has an attack. And Rachel will tell us if her panic attacks escalate to blood.”

West picks up the bag I keep in my gym locker with extra clothes. “I got this for you. You’ve got ten minutes to take a shower and make it to fourth period.”

Both of my brothers stare at me, and I draw my knees to my chest. I hated this feeling back in middle school, and I hate this feeling now. No matter what I do in my life, the two of them will always view me as someone to be controlled.

* * *

By the time sixth period rolls around, the school salivates with the news: recluse Rachel Young is weird again. When I enter the library for my internship, I’m greeted by the sound of giggles. The words whispered between ponytail tosses are not lost on me. “I told you she was strange...” Chuckles and lower whispers. “...completely freaked out in physics.”

Unable to face anyone, I duck into one of the stacks. I suck in a breath, not for an attack, but to stop the tears. Why? Why am I like this?

At the back wall, I sink to the ground and my phone vibrates. I pull it out and see the one person who doesn’t treat me as weird or as incompetent. Isaiah: Look out the window.

My forehead furrows. I grab my pack and walk to the windows overlooking the student parking lot. In the back, Isaiah leans against his black Mustang. My smile automatically appears.

Me: See you.

Isaiah: Skip with me.

Skip. Besides that day with Eric, I’ve never ditched before. But that day was covered with a sick note from Mom. Leaving today would be different. It would be scandalous. It would be...everything I need.

Chapter 45

Isaiah

I EASE MY CAR TO the curb, and Rachel dashes out of school like a robber running out of a convenience store, her blond hair trailing behind her in the wind. I chuckle and reach over to open the passenger side. She falls into the car with her cheeks red from the cold. “Let’s go!”

Weaving her hand in mine, I kiss her knuckles and place her palm over the stick shift with my hand securely covering hers. I step on the clutch and apply pressure to her hand so that she’ll shift into First. “You’re letting me drive your car?” she asks.

“Shift,” I correct. “But I’ve never let a girl shift my car before. Feel honored.”

“I do.” Rachel leans over and kisses my cheek. The sweet scent of jasmine and the ocean washes over me. On the open road, the rpms build, and like a perfectly synced machine, I step on the clutch right as Rachel shifts to Second.

The excitement is hard to contain, but it’s weird. I’ve never been eager to share news with anyone, and I want her to be excited along with me. The engine begins to strain, and in effortless coordination, she shifts to Third while I press the clutch.

A stirring in my heart overcomes the excitement for a second. Rachel is perfect for me. She never needs words because she understands my rhythm.

“I passed the ASE certification test,” I say, as if I’m telling her it’s Thursday.

Rachel doesn’t disappoint as she gasps. “Oh, Isaiah! That is amazing. No, fantastic. No...the best news ever. I knew you’d pass. We have to do something to celebrate! What, though? I don’t know. What do you want to do? Whatever it is, it has to be special.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I glance at her. “I’m doing it.”

A grimace stains her face. “What? Driving? You always drive.”

How can she not see it? “I’m spending time with you.”

Silence. Except for the purring of my engine. The floorboard barely vibrates beneath me, and I wonder if she also notices the sensation. I scratch the thought. I don’t have to wonder. Someone like her relishes the feel of a car’s every movement—just like me.

“I’m proud of you,” she says as simply as when I announced that I passed. My chest hurts as if she punched through a wall. Taking her hand off the stick shift, I kiss her knuckles again and keep her fingers pressed against my face until I have to place her hand back so she can shift down.

These feelings inside of me, I don’t understand them, but I do understand Rachel and I know she understands me. I want her in my life in a way no one else has ever been. When I can talk without my voice breaking, I say to her, “I’d like you to come somewhere with me. It’s not special, but I’d like you there.”

Chapter 46

Rachel

AFTER SCHOOL ENDED, ISAIAH DROVE me back to the lot to get my car and then I followed him to the garage to leave it there. Once again in his car he circles a small park east of Tom’s garage. It’s not quite far east enough to hit my area of town, but far enough away from his area that I’m not terrified. Because of the cold, gray day, the park is relatively empty.

Empty except for the woman with blond hair standing next to a car several spots down from ours. From the moment we pulled in, she’s stared at Isaiah and me. Also in the park is a middle-aged woman with short, dark brown hair. From the bench nearest the swings, she subtly watches us. Isaiah fell into a heavy silence the moment he placed the car into Park.

“I don’t like being stared at,” I say quietly. Isaiah glances at me then to the two women.

“She’s my mom,” he says with a short gruffness. “The one next to the car is my social worker.” His fingers tighten into fists as he rests the back of his head against his seat. “I asked to meet with my mom, but now I’m not sure I can.”

“You’ll see her when you’re ready.” Wrapping my fingers over his, he grasps my hand like I’m a life raft. I shouldn’t revel in this moment, but I do. He’s searching for strength, and I’m more than happy to provide it. In fact, doing so makes me feel stronger. “Do you want me to go with you?”

Isaiah shakes his head. “No. But thanks...for being here.” In a swift movement, Isaiah leans over and kisses me. His mouth barely opens so he can tease my bottom lip. A move that causes my heart to stumble.

Before I can kiss him back, Isaiah breaks away. “Stay here.”

Chapter 47

Isaiah

WITH HER LONG TAN COAT slapping against her knees, Courtney intercepts me before I step onto the grass. “I have a million questions, Isaiah.”

I shove my hands into my jeans pockets. “I don’t know, I don’t care or none of your business.”

“What?”

“Every possible answer to your millions of questions.”

She smirks. “Very funny.”

I wasn’t joking.

Courtney glances at my car with a smug expression. “Who’s that?”

“Answer number three.”

My social worker ignores me and continues to evaluate Rachel like she’s a lab rat. “She’s pretty. Does she go to your school?”

“She is and no.” If I don’t give her something she’ll keep digging. “She goes to Worthington Private.”

Courtney blinks rapidly. “Wow. No kidding. That’s...impressive.”

I jerk my chin in Melanie’s direction. “I got things to do.”

She sighs. “Are you sure about this?”

No. “I’m here and she’s there.”

Courtney waves me on, and I can feel the heat of her stare burning into my back. Not believing I had a change of heart, she questioned my motivations when I asked her to schedule this meeting. Gotta give Courtney credit...the girl knows her shit.