Grant lost all semblance of control after that. I was feeding into his belief that he wasn’t good enough for me. I knew his inadequacies, and I was pushing his buttons in my anger.

“What? You think you’re perfect? You talk about your family like you’re picture-fucking-perfect, but they’re controlling. You live in a motherfucking bubble. You’ve never experienced anything because you’re too fucking scared of your shadow. You might be educated, motivated, and ambitious, Princess, but you have no common sense when it comes to the real world. Not to mention, you never fucking shut up, and you think you’re smarter than everyone else in the room.”

“I am smarter than everyone else in the room!” I screamed back in his face. I couldn’t control my temper at this point.

I’d given everything to Grant, and now, we were just digging our heels in. We were being mean on purpose. Every single thing he’d said felt like a knife wound to my chest.

“I can’t do this, Grant.”

He ground his teeth and took a deep breath. “Ari…I’m sorry.”

“No…” I said, backing up toward the closed door.

“We shouldn’t have said those things.”

“But you meant them. I meant them. That’s all that matters.”

“Ari, please,” he pleaded.

Too little, too late.

“I just need some space, some time to think,” I whispered, the tears hitting my eyes again.

“Don’t do this.”

I shook my head. “Just give me some time,” I said before grabbing the door handle and rushing out of Grant’s suite.

Holy fucking shit!

What the fuck had just happened? What had I just said to her? The entire argument was a blur. It had been ugly, really fucking ugly. The tears in her eyes still stung, and all I wanted to do was run out of this godforsaken room and make things right. But I knew that wouldn’t help. Something deep down inside me told me that no matter what I said or did to try to fix this, it wouldn’t work.

I’d broken her—just like I’d feared that I would. And in doing that…she’d broken me.

I’d never felt this kind of hurt before. Pain, yes, pain I was used to. Pain and guilt and agonizing repressed memories and torture. But this…goddamn, this was like someone had taken a razor blade to my chest and started slicing through everything important.

How could I have been stupid enough to let Kristin into my place? I hadn’t been sober enough, or maybe I hadn’t cared enough to put the pieces together. I’d seen her on more than one occasion, and I’d just never given two shits who she was because she wasn’t Ari. Now, that was kicking me in the ass. She was the fucking chick who had told me that Ari was seeing her ex. She had been in The Drift’s backstage room. She had probably fucking slipped on the ice on purpose, just to get me to walk with her.

I was starting to feel like I had gotten played. I’d set my guitar down and shown her where the bathroom was. She’d gone in there, and I’d sat on the couch to wait her out. When she’d called my name, I hadn’t even thought she would put the moves on me. There simply wasn’t anyone but Ari anymore. Then, the chick had stepped out of the bathroom naked. And yeah, I’d looked. What the hell was I supposed to do? I’d just shaken my head and told her she needed to leave. Then, she’d literally forced herself on me. I wasn’t usually caught off guard, but I hadn’t been prepared for that.

It was my fault for letting her in, and I was paying for it. I wanted to throw something or put my fist through the wall, but that wouldn’t bring Ari back. Feeling defeated and even more fucking angry, I stormed out of the suite and down to the lodge.

“Hey, man. What took you so long?” Miller asked when he saw me approaching.

Sydney was sitting on his lap, and Vin was nowhere to be found.

“Whoa! What’s wrong? What happened?” He scooted Sydney to the side and stood.

“Alcohol. Now. Lots of it.”

Sydney jumped up. “Cuz, you all right? You look murderous.”

I just glared at her. “You got alcohol, Syd? Or are you not understanding?”

“Whoa there, motherfucker! I’m your fucking cousin, not some groupie whore.”

“Then, get out of my way because I think I need one.”

Sydney gave me a disgusted look. Coming from the dirty slut that she was, it should have sent off warnings, but I just ignored it. Miller, however, I couldn’t ignore.

“No way. No can do. Ari would kill you and me both if I let that happen.”

“Well, she’s not here, is she?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Sydney snapped. “You’re normally this disgusting pig but not with her.”

“Are you done wasting my time?” I asked, pushing her out of my way and back onto the couch.

Miller grabbed my arm, threw it behind me, and gave a small shove upward. I grimaced. Shit, that hurt!

“You going to stop acting like an idiot?” Miller asked.

He had the upper hand, and I just wanted to pummel him, but I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at Ari. Or myself. Or Kristin. But mostly myself.

Finally, I nodded. Miller released me and then strongly encouraged me to take a seat.

“What’s going on?”

“Yeah, cuz. What the fuck has gotten into you?”

I ground my teeth together and ignored Sydney as she crawled back onto Miller’s lap. Great. One big fucking reminder of what I’d just completely trashed.

“I don’t want to talk about it, so just lay off. I should go find Donovan since you two seem to be a bit lost in your own world, and all my other brothers are gone,” I said bitterly.

“Something happen with Ari?” Sydney probed.

“Did you not just hear me say that I didn’t want to fucking talk about it?” I bit back.

“All right,” Miller said.

He dropped his hand on Sydney’s knee, and she sighed back into his chest. Fuck that!

“Are we done with the interrogation now?” I had other things on my mind, like booze and pot and women and incoherence and blacking out and forgetting that this shit day ever happened.

Miller was giving me a sympathetic look, like he’d already guessed what was going on without me telling him. “Are you sure you want to go hang out with The Drift right now? Being around Donovan and the rest of the band might not be in your best interest.”

I stood abruptly. “The only person who made me care about my best interest just fucking walked out on me, so I don’t think it fucking matters what else I do.”

I woke up at the crack of dawn, feeling like absolute shit, and it wasn’t just from the bottle of whiskey last night. Aribel. Oh shit! No, this could not be happening to my life.

I needed her. I couldn’t go on without her. She was my breath of fresh air. She reminded me what it was like to live. She was the only person I’d ever cared enough about to invest time into. I couldn’t just let her get away.

Throwing my legs over the bed, I immediately regretted my decision. I had a splitting headache and the sudden need to vomit. I braced myself on the side table and then stood up. Drinking with Donovan last night had been a terrible idea. The guy could fucking drink me under the table, and I had no clue how. He’d tried to throw groupies at me, but luckily, I hadn’t been a total shithead. My bed was mercifully empty. I would have regretted that for the rest of my life.

Clothes were a struggle, but I eventually managed to throw something suitable on. Then, I was out of the room and out the front door before the sun had cleared the horizon.

I needed to talk to Ari. I needed to make this right.

That conversation should have never happened. I’d been fucking wasted, and nothing I’d said had come out right. I should have told her that I would never even touch another girl if it meant we were together. I should have told her that Kristin was nobody and that it was wrong for her to be in my suite and that I did understand how serious the situation was. I should have begged Ari to stay. I should have followed her. A heavy cloud of regret settled in the pit of my stomach, and it did nothing for my hangover.