One hand held my leg tightly in his grasp while the other moved my chin up until I was looking at him. There was that look again, but I had no time to think about it as he dropped his lips down on mine.

He was kissing me.

No, I was kissing him back.

No, I wouldn’t do that.

But he tasted so good, and he really was as good of a kisser as I’d thought he’d be. My head swam with the energy of it all.

Yet, something wasn’t right. It wasn’t Henry I wanted to be kissing. It was hot. He was hot. But it just didn’t feel right. Kisses were supposed to feel like a burst of electricity mixed with fireworks and crackling infernos coursing through my system. The intensity and passion was supposed to radiate from me until I couldn’t breathe or think about anything but that moment.

And I’d been kissed like that—like it was life or death to feel his lips against mine, like there was nothing else that would ever exist in the world, like it was the only source of true happiness.

I broke away from Henry with a gasp. His returning smirk told me that he thought that was a good thing. After all, my face was flush, and my heart was pounding. But I felt wrong, all wrong. I felt like spiders had just crawled under my skin.

“I’m sorry. I…I can’t,” I whispered breathily through my drunken haze.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Does it matter?”

“No,” he decided.

“I’m sorry. There’s someone else.”

Well, that took him by surprise, and he finally released me.

“I didn’t realize you were dating someone else. Funny how that didn’t come up until just now.”

“We’re kind of broken up…” And he’s sleeping around with other people.

He arched an eyebrow. “So, then…you’re not dating someone else.”

“The technicalities of it don’t really matter,” I slurred. “I’m not really all with it. So, it’s probably best for us to stop… whatever this.” I put some more space between us to emphasize my point.

“I was kind of enjoying…this.” He scooted closer to me. “So, maybe you should find out what’s going on with the technicalities. I’d like to get back to this.” His mouth dropped down on mine again. “And I think you’d like to as well.”

I pulled back again and stood. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want whatever he was offering. My parents had set up this entire thing. There was no real attraction between us. As far as I was concerned, this was an arranged-marriage deal that I was being forced into at the hands of my mother.

The heat of his gaze told me that he didn’t believe my unspoken thoughts.

With that, I turned around and walked out.

I would catch a cab home. I couldn’t be there a second longer. The point of the night out had been for me to stop thinking about Grant. And while I had momentarily forgotten him, it was only because I was drunk, not because I felt anything less for him.

The whole thing left me wondering what I was going to do when I had to return to Princeton next week.

Ari had been back from break for three days, and I hadn’t gone over there and busted down the door, demanding to speak to her. I thought that was pretty good.

It helped that I’d gotten a gig at a recording studio in Trenton to pass the time during the day. The money wasn’t that great, but I felt better being in the studio, working and learning, than I did sitting around, obsessing about Ari. Not to mention, I didn’t have to think about whatever the fuck we were going to do with the band. We hadn’t heard from Hollis since New Year’s Eve, and I wasn’t all that surprised. At least, I still kept in touch with Donovan. The Drift would be in New York this afternoon for some talk-show appearance, and we were set to chill afterward. It meant another way to keep my mind off of Ari.

Though, I knew it was only a matter of time before I made my way over there to try to convince her that she had made a terrible mistake. Until my resolve broke, I was going to try to give her the space she had requested. I didn’t know what I’d do if she turned me down. I’d probably keep trying.

I left the studio early and drove home to shower before going into the city. The guys were playing video games in the living room, and it all felt so normal. It was a nice change of pace from how we’d all been acting since New Year’s.

Miller nodded at me when I walked in the door. “How was work?”

I shrugged. “I bet we could get some free studio time next week.”

“Nice.”

“What are you up to tonight? I’m meeting up with Donovan in the city for a few drinks. You interested?”

Miller shifted his gaze and fidgeted in his seat. I looked over at McAvoy, and he also seemed uncomfortable. Even Vin wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“Okay…what’s going on?”

“We already have plans,” Miller said.

“Doing what?”

“We’re, uh…going over to Ari’s place tonight—”

“What?” I bellowed, completely blowing up. “You’re going over there? I haven’t even been over there!”

McAvoy sighed and nodded. “I’m sort of seeing her roommate, Gabi, and Vin is seeing Cheyenne. Miller was planning to hang out with Shelby.”

I stared at Miller, waiting for him to respond. “What about Sydney?”

“Sydney wants what she wants when she wants it. Right now, she’s back in Knoxville, probably fucking half the school. And before you blow up on me, just think about it. You know it’s true.”

“Whatever. So…you’re all just going over to hang out at Ari’s house, and I’m just here?”

“Bro, we want you there,” McAvoy said.

“But she doesn’t,” I finished for him.

McAvoy shrugged in apology.

Ari didn’t want me there. She hadn’t asked for me. Fuck, things were really over.

“All right,” I said, slowly backing away. “I’ll just go visit Donovan in the city. You guys have a good time.”

The guys looked at me with varying levels of sympathetic faces. They knew I’d been fucked-up about Ari. They knew I’d been beating myself up about it. But there was nothing to be done.

I’d just go see her later this week. I’d let her tell me to my face that it was over, and then I’d find a bottle and drown myself in it.

I met Donovan in the penthouse suite he was staying in. He was shirtless with a bottle of whiskey out in front of him and his guitar in his lap. The rest of the band was there as well with nearly naked girls hanging all over them. Donovan had two girls in nothing more than sheer lingerie sitting at his feet, staring up at him with idol worship.

“McDermott!” Donovan said, waving me over. “Just in time!”

“For what?”

“The party.”

It appeared that the party was already well underway, but Donovan might be on something a little harder than that whiskey sitting in front of him.

“Didn’t realize I’d be walking in on a…pajama party,” I said.

“Guess the invite got mixed up. Girls, maybe you can help McDermott out of his shirt?”

The girls got up automatically. There was no hesitation. They were just going to take my clothes off because Donovan had told them to.

“Uh…no. I got it.”

I slipped out of my shirt, and the girls looked disappointed, like they really had wanted to do it for me.

I dropped into the seat next to Donovan. “Quite a place you have here.”

“Yeah. Hollis wanted the best.”

“Nice.”

I crossed my arms and looked at all the girls. I knew that there were girls like this at the shows, and damn, it was pretty easy to come by girls who wanted to fuck me. I was sure it was easier to get girls for The Drift, who were legit rock stars, but still, it wasn’t even dinner yet, and there were at least thirty hot-as-shit girls in lingerie in his hotel room.

“Where do the girls come from?”

Donovan was playing a new tune on his guitar, and he stopped at my question. “Oh, Hollis finds them. Most are regulars. I mean, you know Jaci,” Donovan said with a wink as he pointed at a girl across the room, who was wearing nothing but a black lace thong.