“Oh I ended up finishing it. I just knitted a blue background and then crocheted a bunch of stars and tacked them onto the blue background. One of these days, I’m going to figure out the star pattern though and knit it. Just for fun.” Her fingers were running down the side of my abdomen, tracing out the pattern of my muscles. The whisper-soft touch was distracting me. “And I gave the afghan to my local VA. It’s about all I worked on these past two months. I’m behind in all my other projects.”

"Ah." What the hell? That she'd finish her project before I got to her never occurred to me. She hadn't worked on it in over two years, and she’d whipped the fucker into shape in two months? I had not planned for this. Squeezing the steering wheel, I wondered where else I could take her, but we were already there.

"Oh look there's a yarn shop."

Sighing, I pulled into Knit Together.

"We don't have to stop. I can get yarn anytime.” She smiled at me and stretched out her arms, making an interesting outline around her breasts. “I’m going to have a lot of time on my hands.”

“What do you want to do after this?”

“Probably look for a place to live.”

“There might be someone in my apartment complex who has a place. Will you let me check that out for you?”

“Sure.” She smiled, and I was so overwhelmed by emotion, I couldn’t really speak. Unbuckling her seatbelt, I pulled her into my lap and buried my head in her neck. She held me, soothed me, and brought me back to life again. I didn’t cry…exactly, but I held her tight and hoped she realized how precious she was to me.

We may have sat like that forever if she hadn’t pushed away and said, “So even though I said you didn’t have to stop, do you mind if we go in? We are in the parking lot.”

I chuckled and unlocked the door. Holding her to me while I climbed out, I set her down next the truck door. “Hold on.” In the back seat, I pulled out the pack and then slung it over my shoulder. Placing a hand at the small of her back, I ushered her into the shop.

“Sergeant Phillips,” Mrs. Bend cried out when we were inside. Sam had started to look at some yarn balls on a front table display but quickly abandoned them to look first at Mrs. Bend and then at me. I bent down so Mrs. Bend could give me an obligatory kiss in greeting. Holding out my hand to Sam, I drew her close to my side and introduced them.

“Mrs. Bend, this is my girlfriend, Sam, the one I told you about. Sam, this is Mrs. Bend. She and her daughter Dorothy have been helping me with something.” I let the pack drop to the floor and then knelt down on one knee to pull out the sad mat of yarn I’d created. Mrs. Bend had her hands up by her mouth, and I could see out of the periphery of my eyes that everyone in the store had turned toward us. Sam’s head was cocked to the side as if I were some strange bug she’d found on the floor and she wasn’t sure if she should crush it or sweep it outside with the trash.

Feeling embarrassed by my effort, I crushed the knitting in my hand and thought frantically of a way to get out of this. What had I been thinking? I started to stuff it back into the pack and stand, but Sam’s hands stopped me.

“What is it?” The caring in her voice had me dropping my head. While I was pissed off at myself for spending so many years avoiding relationships because of the number Carrie had done to me, I was grateful too, because otherwise I wouldn’t have met Sam, wouldn’t have fallen in love with her, and wouldn't have the gift of her love in return. She’d made every effort to keep me in her life and I had to show her how willing I was to make her part of my life, forever.

Pulling out the project, I held it out to her. That’s my heart in your hands, I thought. No one in the store said a word. It was as if we were all holding our collective breaths.

And then…then Sam started to sob. “Oh God, Sam, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what I’d done, but I was damn sorry for it. Actually I’d done so many shitty things that I probably couldn’t say those words enough. She allowed me to cradle her in my arms. Sound burst all around us. Mrs. Bend was trying to explain that I was a dear boy, and Dorothy was fluttering around looking for tissues.

I didn’t know if I should take Sam to the back where there was a sofa or out to my truck. What I did know was that I wasn’t letting go of her.

Pushing away from me slightly, Sam made the decision for me. Wiping her tears with the backs of her hand, she held the blue bit of yarn between us. “Did you make this for me?”

I nodded. “It’s the stars portion of your afghan. Mrs. Bend was trying to teach me your interstitial—no, intarsia—technique. See,” I pointed to a blotch of white, “that’s supposed to be a star.”

She started laughing and crying at the same time. “This is about the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Through her tears she beamed at me. “You really do love me, don’t you, Gray Phillips?”

“I really do, Samantha Anderson. More than the world has stars, I love you.”

I wasn’t an officer and not much of a gentleman, but I could carry the shit out of stuff. Scooping Sam into my arms, I carried her out the Knit Together shop.

“So much better than the Lion yarn trunk show, Margo.”

Samantha

"IF YOU AREN'T READY IN the next minute, I'm leaving without you," I yelled down the hall. My roommate Karen was still primping in the bathroom. We were both on our way to meet the boat down at the Dock. Karen's girlfriend was in the Navy. The Navy carried the Marines everywhere, or almost everywhere, so if a Navy guy comes over to the Marine base everyone thanks him for the "ride."

Pausing in front of the entryway mirror, I double-checked my appearance. Karen had used a flat iron to make big beach waves in my hair, and I'd applied eyeliner, mascara, and a little blush. I probably didn't need the blush. My cheeks were red with excitement. No lipstick, Karen counseled, because Gray would eat it all off in the first five seconds of getting off the boat. That made me more excited than it probably should have.

The six-month separation had been difficult because it came so soon, just a couple months after I’d arrived in San Diego. Gray had re-enlisted and then got sent to the Phillippines. His duties included drinking snake venom with the Philippine Army, at least according to one of his platoon members. Out of all the tall tales that his friends liked to joke about, that was actually one I believed.

Karen's girlfriend was a medic, and we’d met when I was looking for an apartment to rent. Gray said it made sense to room with someone to defray the apartment costs, particularly when I wasn't going to be spending a lot of time there. The military frowned upon single men cohabiting. It would've been easier for Karen and her girlfriend to get by together, but since Rose had come out, they’d decided not to push it.

It made for a perfect set up. Rose spent most of her time with Karen in our apartment, and I spent most of my time with Gray in his. None of us were "living" together in violation of the unwritten rules of the Corps, but I hadn’t slept one entire night in my apartment. Even with Gray gone, I liked to sleep in our bed, wrapped in his scent, surrounded by his things.

It was hard on Gray to be gone. He struggled with his issues of jealousy and trust, so I did what I could to allay those concerns. When we Skyped, which we could do regularly, I gave him a general rundown of my day, including who I might have seen or run into. He never once asked, trying hard to show me how much he trusted me and how much he'd grown, but why torment him, I thought. Besides I liked sharing what I'd been doing. It made us seem closer even though we were miles apart.