Leah shrugged, knowing she had a point. Every time Scott decided to pull this stunt, it brought back a mess of awful memories for her, not to mention all of her insecurities.
“And it’s pissing me off that it’s happening right when you just met this Danny guy. I don’t want you to panic and bail on him because Scott’s messing with your head again.”
“Well, hold on, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. There’s really nothing for me to bail on.”
Despite the fact that Danny had ended the call on New Year’s Day by telling her he’d talk to her later, three days had passed with no word from him. Leah realized that talk to you later was a common farewell, and not necessarily meant to be taken literally, but since it was the first time he ended any conversation with her indicating they’d be speaking again, she couldn’t help but feel hopeful.
And hopeful was dangerous, because it left her wide open for disappointment.
“But if you like him,” Sarah said, “I don’t want you to not pursue it because of Scott dredging up all your old baggage.”
Leah turned to her sister. “Did you just call me an old bag?”
“I’m being serious,” she laughed. “Just promise me that if you like this guy, you’ll go for it, no matter what that dumb ass is doing.”
Leah nodded, bringing her wine glass to her lips. “I honestly don’t know how I feel about him. But if I decide I’m interested…then…I’ll try,” she said before finishing the rest of her wine.
“You will?” Sarah asked excitedly.
She nodded. “If I decide I’m interested,” she clarified once she had swallowed.
Sarah pumped her fist in the air before she hopped off the counter and grabbed the oven mitt, and Leah took a deep breath, blinking up at the ceiling.
The problem was, she had already decided whether or not she was interested.
And the answer terrified her.
Holly and Robyn—and now Sarah—were so convinced that her lingering issues with Scott were preventing her from pursuing Danny, when in reality Scott’s reappearance had nothing to do with her hesitation; what raised a red flag for her was the ridiculously inconsistent behavior she’d seen from Danny since she’d met him almost two weeks ago. He invited her to lunch and seemed to enjoy being with her, only to dismiss her at the end of it. He called her upset and curt over the fact that she’d done something kind for his grandmother, only to be playful and flirty with her on New Year’s Day. Then he told her he’d talk to her soon, but he never called.
She couldn’t allow herself to be that careless, to get involved—for the first time in two years—with someone who was so unpredictable. She’d be uneasy enough about starting a relationship again without the added uncertainty of never knowing what to expect from him. Someone a bit more consistent, someone who could offer her some semblance of stability, that’s what she should be looking for. A nice, smooth transition back into the world of dating.
Yet she couldn’t seem to get him out of her head.
Yes, he was mercurial. Yes, he was difficult to understand. The trouble was, she found herself wanting to understand him. Or at least, to try.
Leah and Sarah ended up eating their lasagna on the couch while flipping through the channels, and just before How I Met Your Mother came on, Sarah brought their dirty dishes into the kitchen and came out with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Americone Dream and two spoons, waving them in invitation. They spent the next half hour with the pint wedged in the cushions between them, battling with their spoons for the chocolate-covered waffle-cone chunks.
It was just after ten by the time she left her sister’s apartment, and after having slept in for most of Christmas vacation, she was definitely feeling the effects of waking up at five thirty again. Leah yawned heavily as she pulled up to the stoplight at the intersection, flipping aimlessly through the radio stations.
“You suck,” she told the console before she turned the radio off.
And then her eye landed on her phone in the cup holder.
She had promised her sister she’d try.
Leah dropped her head back on the seat, staring at the roof of the car.
And they had ended their last conversation on good terms.
The car behind her beeped as the light turned green, and she sat up and hit the gas.
Come on, Leah. Put on your big girl panties and do it.
Leah glanced back down at her phone. “Oh, what the hell,” she murmured to herself as she grabbed it, quickly scrolling through her contacts until she found him.
He answered on the second ring, his voice gravelly. “Leah. Hey.”
The rough sound of it caused a fluttering low in her stomach. “Hey. Did I wake you?”
“No, not at all,” he answered. “I haven’t been to sleep in over twenty-four hours, so it’s all good.”
“Seriously? Why?”
Danny sighed before he said, “A buddy of mine races cars, and he’s entered in this big competition tomorrow. A shitload of money up for grabs. Anyway, he called me last night because he took it out for a spin to test some shit he just put in it, and he hit some black ice and crashed it.”
“Oh my God, is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Just pissed off,” he said with a laugh. “Fucked the car up pretty good, and he needed it to be in shape for this thing tomorrow. So me and a few of my guys drove out to him last night. Spent the whole night and all of today working on it.”
“Did you get it fixed?”
“Pshh. Did I get it fixed. Of course I got it fixed.”
Leah smiled. “Well, I apologize for questioning your automotive prowess. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Me either, but I’m not sure I forgive you,” he said through a yawn. “So what’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I just wanted to say hi. See how you were.”
“Right now, exhausted,” he said with a weak chuckle.
“Why aren’t you in bed?”
“Trying to get there. I’m driving back from Hempstead and I’m stuck on the Cross Island.”
“Traffic?”
“No, glue,” he said with a laugh. “Yes, traffic.”
“Wise ass,” she said, fighting a smile.
“What are you doing up? Don’t you have school tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” she said, glancing in her rearview before switching lanes. “I just had dinner at my sister’s. I’m almost home.”
“Oh man. What did you have?”
“Lasagna, why?”
He groaned, and the fluttering in her stomach returned with a vengeance. “God, that sounds amazing. I haven’t eaten anything but chips and frozen pizza rolls all day. Tell me what was in it, nice and slow.”
“Oh my God!” she laughed. “Knock it off, you sicko!”
Danny laughed into the phone, and the fluttering traveled up through her chest.
Screwed. You are so totally screwed. Beyond screwed.
“So how was your first day back?” he asked.
“Typical. You’d think they’d be reenergized, coming off a week and a half’s vacation, but it was like a scene out of The Walking Dead.”
“Do you watch The Walking Dead?”
“No.”
“I figured.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because in The Walking Dead, they don’t sit there zoning out. They tear your fucking limbs off and eat them. Can I assume that’s not what happened in your classroom today?”
Leah pulled into her parking space and cut the engine. “You know, you’re a little annoying when you’re stuck in traffic on no sleep.”
Danny burst out laughing as Leah got out of the car and ran to her front door, her head ducked against the wind. “Jesus, it’s freezing out here,” she said through gritted teeth.
“You’re home already?”
“Yeah, just walked through the door.”
“Oh. Alright, well, I’ll let you get to bed then—”
“No, that’s okay,” she said a little too quickly. She closed her eyes and took a breath before she continued. “I’m not that tired. Plus, I don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel.”