The theory of keeping my eyes closed to keep tears from forming was nice. It just wasn’t a factual theory. Jesse hadn’t even flinched at what I’d just said. He hadn’t run away screaming. He’d said some of the kindest things I’d heard. Words were just words, but not those ones. Jesse had proven those words before he’d said them. I’d just been blinded.

“I don’t deserve you, Jesse,” I whispered, never knowing anything more true. “There’s nothing I ever could do to deserve you.”

He bent his face into the curve of my neck. “We don’t deserve anything, Rowen. We don’t deserve punishment, we don’t deserve happiness, life owes us nothing. Realize that.” His voice wasn’t gentle anymore; it was as strong as I’d ever heard it. “So we have to take what we want because life sure as shit isn’t going to freely hand it over.” He kissed the skin just above my collar bone. “And I want you.”

I wasn’t sure if his words or his touch affected me more, but everything inside of me, the ice, the walls, the fences, everything I’d built to protect myself crumbled. “I’m a huge failure. But I want to be better. You make me want to be better. I know you might disagree, but I know you deserve better.” Oh, God. I was a runaway train. After years of keeping it all shut inside, it was flooding out of me. “But I love you.” And there it was. Most vulnerable feeling ever. “I love you so much it scares me.”

Jesse didn’t move, and again, he didn’t flinch. He just held me, almost like he knew I needed someone to help keep me together. “Are you done?”

It seemed the flood had come to an end, for the moment, so I nodded.

“Good,” he said, his breath warm against my neck. “Because I love you, too.”

The first tear I’d cried in a long, long time leaked out and rolled down my cheek. I’d associated crying with sadness, so I’d avoided it. I didn’t need tears to remind me of pain. I hadn’t expected them to come with happiness.

Happiness wasn’t exactly the right word, though. No word in my vocabulary bank quite worked. Whatever that emotion was, it was the best damn feeling I’d ever had. I wanted his love more than anyone’s . . . I had it.

I didn’t know how to respond with words, so I used my actions. Twisting in his arms, I looked into the face of the guy I loved. I didn’t wipe away my tears because, right then, I didn’t mind being vulnerable.

“Do I need another invitation if I want to kiss you again?”

“No. You pretty much get to kiss me whenever you want now,” I said, forming my hands over the grooves of his shoulders.

“Good to know.”

Jesse might have been about to say something else, but he’d said everything he needed to. Everything.

He liked the real Rowen Sterling. He even liked the one I pretended to be. My past and all the dark parts of it didn’t matter to him. He loved me.

Oh, yeah. I felt the exact same way about him. In all regards.

Nothing more needed to be said.

My mouth crashed into his and took him by surprise. His shoulders tensed for the shortest moment. It took all of one heartbeat for my lips to melt his. Before long, I was struggling to match Jesse’s force and pace. He kissed me in long, hard pulls, literally leaving me breathless. His skin was hot and his shoulders rolled beneath my hands as his hands explored my body.

He kept to the “safe” areas: my arms, my back, my hips. After a minute of that, I wanted him touching me in the not-so-safe areas. I wanted it so bad, I grabbed his hand from the small of my back and slid it around to my stomach. Weaving my fingers through his, I guided his hand up. Past my navel, over my ribs, until it covered my breast.

Jesse’s shoulders tensed again and his mouth slowed its pace against mine. He didn’t seem uncomfortable, just unsure. His touch was hesitant at first as his hand moved over me. I left my hand over his, encouraging him as his exploration shifted away from hesitancy.

When he didn’t obviously need any more help, my hand left his and wandered around his waist until my fingers slid over the deep groove running up the center of his back. It felt even better than it looked.

My other hand curved around him, joining the first in its careful inspection of his back. When Jesse’s tongue journeyed into my mouth, twisting with mine, my touch instinctually deepened. My nails dug into his back, clawing their way down until they reached the hem of his sweats.

Jesse groaned and pulled back. His smile went right back into place as his chest rose and fell quickly. “Are you doing this because I told you I love you, or do you just think I’m smokin’ hot and can’t help yourself?” As he inspected my face, his smile stretched higher. Whatever expression I wore had made him downright cocky. From the way I felt, I didn’t need to see a mirror to guess what my face looked like.

He had a right to be cocky. He unraveled the parts of me I was familiar with and the parts I’d never even known were there.

“Both,” I answered, pulling back just enough to do what I wanted to do next. I reached for the thin straps of my dress and slid each one from my shoulders. The best part of undressing while wearing a shift dress? Two straps moved a few inches over the shoulders, and the entire dress was in a bunch at my feet.

Jesse swallowed.

That made me smile. My fingers trembled over the clasp of my bra, but a couple seconds later, my bra joined the pile of clothes at my feet.

My nipples were already hard from what we’d just been doing, but they hardened more still with the anticipation of what was to come.

Jesse gulped.

I smiled again. I was turning into a smiling fool around him. When my thumbs hitched beneath my lace panties, Jesse’s mouth opened, but no words came out. Since I’d never known a guy yet to call “Uncle” at that point in the strip tease, I slid my panties down my hips and past my knees. Once they’d dropped to my ankles, I stepped out of them and away from the rest of my clothing.

Jesse’s eyes moved over me like his hands had at first, keeping to the safe zones, until they couldn’t seem to stay there any longer. His gaze lingered so long over certain areas, I almost started squirming. But I didn’t. I focused on his face, the wrinkles lining his forehead, his parted mouth breathing short, fast breaths, his eyes exploring me almost like he was worshipping me.

It was the most intimate moment Jesse and I had shared. And he had yet to touch me.

After a few more seconds, I took another step toward him. “So?” I lifted my hands at my sides.

Jesse rubbed his forehead, staring at me like he was afraid to blink for fear of missing something. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Again. He closed it and tried again. Still nothing.

I’d struck the man mute.

His mouth moved open again, and finally he managed, “Speechless,” sounding as breathless as he looked. “Obviously.”

That look of sheer and utter surprise left his face when his eyes returned to mine. “Have I mentioned that I love you, Rowen Sterling?”

“Yeah, you did.” I needed him to touch me so badly it had become painful. “But you can say it as often as you like. I promise that I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”

“Noted,” he said, moving toward me. His eyes never left mine, and between the emotion in them and the expression on his face, I was the one rendered speechless. When his hands curved over my lower back, they weren’t shaky the way mine were. His touch had a confidence and strength that made the whole area south of my navel tighten even more. His hands slid lower until his large hands covered my backside.

My heart was beating so damn hard it vibrated my ear drums.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Jesse whispered just outside my ear.

I might have been in the heat of the moment, but his word choice still caught me by surprise. “Did you just say fuck?” I’d heard barely a handful of curses come out of Jesse’s mouth and none of them had included the pinnacle of curse words.