“Man, you weren’t fuckin’ playing’ around,” Tate says.

He lights up a joint.

“Play another one,” Bray says, lying against Elias again, as he wraps his arms around her from behind.

Tate passes the joint to Camryn first. She just looks at it for a second, unsure about whether or not she should. I see a trace of pain flash over her face; I know she was recalling her moment of weakness with the painkillers. She shakes her head. “No thanks, I think I’ll just stick to liquor tonight.”

I smile inwardly, proud of her decision. And when Tate offers it to me next, I follow suit, not because I wouldn’t mind a hit or two, but because I can’t bring myself to enjoy it when Camryn won’t.

I’ve never been much of a pot smoker, but it’s all right every once in a while. Right now isn’t one of those times.

I play a few more songs by the bonfire. Camryn finally does sing one with me, and then I just want to kick back with my girl and enjoy the rare high. I set my guitar down beside us on the blanket and pull Camryn onto my lap again.

Tate’s brother has been sucking face with that girl and feeling her up for a while. They don’t talk much, for obvious reasons. The blonde who had been eyeing me earlier has finally taken the hint, I think. Either that or she’s too stoned out of her mind to care about me anymore.

The music from Tate’s Jeep gets loud again, and he walks away from it carrying a bottle of Seagram’s 7, a two-liter of Sprite, and a stack of plastic cups. His girlfriend starts mixing the drinks and passing cups around.

“Have at it, man,” Tate urges us. “Don’t worry about having to drive anywhere tonight. Cops don’t even know about this place.”

“Yeah, sure I’ll have a cup,” I say.

I look to Camryn, recalling the look on her face when Tate passed her the joint earlier. “”I won’t if you don’t want to,” I say.

Aside from not wanting her to feel like she’s betraying herself by getting too drunk, I don’t want her getting so messed up she’s miserable in the morning, either.

“No, I’m good, baby. I’ll just have one cup, all right?”

She smiles sweetly up at me like she’s waiting on me to give her permission, which I find extremely fucking cute.

“All right,” I give in, not wanting to hurt her feelings, and she takes the cup from Tate’s girlfriend.

We all sit back, drink, and talk about all kinds of random shit for the longest time. Camryn is laughing and smiling and carrying on with Bray about tampons, which I have no idea how that topic came up, nor do I want to know, but we’re having a great time. Music by bands I’ve never heard of before carry loudly through the speakers not far away, and I find myself intrigued by the last few songs that have played, which I’m sure are the same singer.

“Who is that?” I ask Tate.

He looks up from his girlfriend, who is lying with her head in his lap. “Who? The band?”

“Yeah,” I say. “They’re pretty awesome.”

“That, my friend, is Dax Riggs. Solo now. He started out in Acid Bath, I think—” He looks up in thought, as though unsure. “Well he’s been in a few different bands. Acid Bath and Agents of Oblivion are the best known.”

“Y’know, I think I’ve heard of Acid Bath before,” I say and take another drink of my gin and Sprite.

“Wouldn’t be surprised,” Tate adds.

“I’ll have to check out his stuff. Is he underground?”

Camryn, breaking free from her tampon conversation with Bray, moves back over next to me and lays her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, he never went mainstream,” Tate says. “Good thing, though, ’cause mainstream is bullshit. It pisses me off to see great bands sell out by doing toothpaste commercials ’n’ shit.”

I laugh lightly. “Yeah, definitely. I’d never sign a contract with a record label, if I’m ever offered one.”

“I hear ya, man,” Tate says. “Once you do that, you’re their bitch. Your music is no longer yours, and you’re bending over for the jackoffs that sign your checks.”

I’m starting to kind of like this guy. Just a little.

“Andrew, I need to pee,” Camryn says.

I look over at her. Taking her cup from her hand, I set it on the sand. “I need to take a piss, too,” I say to her and Tate both.

Tate points to the left with another cigarette between his fingers and says, “Go around that way. There’s no glass and shit to step on over there.”

I set my cup down beside Camryn’s and help her up. We walk with her through the sand toward a dark patch of trees and rocks until we’re far enough away that no one can see us.

“We’re gonna have to sleep out here tonight. No way I can drive us home.”

She squats down while I piss a few feet over from her. “I know,” she says. “I guess we’ll finally get to sleep under the stars, huh?”

I’m laughing inside at her. My baby’s so damn drunk she’s slurring a little.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I say. “Though you should know it doesn’t really count because you’ll barely remember it in the morning.”

“Yes I will.”

“Naaah, you won’t.”

She almost falls over when she’s done and pushes herself back into a stand. I grab ahold of her arm and slip mine around her waist from behind. Then I kiss her on the top of the head. “I love you so much.”

I don’t know why I felt so compelled to say that in this moment, but just having her next to me and knowing that she’s in no condition to take care of herself tonight, I needed to say it. The words were there in the back of my throat and, I admit it, they were starting to choke me up. I would blame it on the alcohol, but no, even completely sober I love her just as fucking much.

She wraps both arms around my waist, nestles her head against my chest as we start to head back, and squeezes me. “I love you, too.”

24

As the night wears on, things happening in our small group begin to shift. People are talking less and making out more. Bray and Elias are lying down next to each other on one side of the bonfire. Tate and his girlfriend might as well be fucking already; only thing left to do is take off their clothes. Thankfully, the shady blonde chick is over me and is helping her friend feel Caleb up about eight feet away from Camryn and me.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I have a feeling I know where this is heading. No big deal. It’s not like I’ve never been in a situation like this before, but this time my main focus isn’t trying to please two chicks at once. I just need to keep Camryn away from their shit.

Just as I start to roll over onto my side to talk to Camryn lying next to me, the whole fucking world comes out from under me. I try to lift my head. I think. My eyes feel like fairies are dancing on top of them. With them open.

“Oh shit…,” I say out loud, but then, maybe I didn’t. Maybe it was all in my head.

I raise my hand in front of my face and it looks like the moon is sitting between my thumb and index finger. I try to shake it off, but it’s too damn heavy and it weighs my arm down. I feel my elbow hit the sand like an eighty-pound weight.

My head is spinning. The color of the fire is blue and yellow and dark red. The sound of the ocean is tripled in my ears, blending with the crackling of the wood on the fire and someone moaning.

“Camryn? Where are you?”

“Andrew? I… I’m right here. I think.”

I can’t even tell if that was really her voice.

I squint my eyes tightly and reopen them again, trying to focus, but I realize I don’t want to focus. I’m smiling. My face feels so stretched out that I’m afraid for a second that it’s not gonna stop stretching and it’s going to rip my face in half. But then it’s OK.

Oh my fucking God… I’m trippin’. What. The. Fuck. Did they give to me?

I try to stand up, but when I think I’m standing I look down and see that I haven’t moved at all. I try again with the same result.