Except where she didn’t.

Living with Hadley for two-and-a-half years had given Devon a certain insight into her behavior that most people wouldn’t normally pick up on.  Her eyes seemed a bit more hollow than normal.  Her suit was too loose, like she had lost weight.  The bounce in her step was missing entirely.  Hadley was in a low place even if she appeared perfect on the outside.

Hadley sat down in her normal seat.  She lifted her head, looked directly at Devon, and then snapped back to face the front.

Devon sighed.  So, that was how it was going to be.  This was some kind of turf battle.  Devon certainly didn’t have a problem with her being there.  She just wished it were under different circumstances.

Brennan approached Hadley and took her order.  Instead of her typical drink, he passed a glass of water across the bar.  Hadley looked up at him, and Devon could only guess the seething look she was giving him.  Brennan knew as well as Devon did that Hadley was in over her head.  Devon was lucky to have him on her side…or at least, she thought he was on her side.  He hadn’t seemed particularly perturbed the night he had told Devon that Hadley was using, but he had been extra cautious about the subject ever since Hadley had stormed out of the restaurant.

When Hadley’s order was ready, Brennan motioned Devon over.

“What’s up?” she asked innocently, like she didn’t know that this was Hadley’s food.

“Will you take this out to Hadley?” he asked just as innocently, like he didn’t know anything about Hadley and Devon’s relationship.

Devon bit her lip.  “Are you sure she won’t throw it at me?”

“You’re the one not answering questions,” he said.

Devon didn’t even have a retort for that.  She couldn’t answer questions—plain and simple.  She wasn’t confident enough to tell anyone what had happened.  Maybe when she went back to St. Louis in the fall, she would find that it was all in her head.

Instead of responding, she took the tray from Brennan and walked through the swinging door.  Brennan followed hot on her heels, stopping within a safe distance in case he had to intervene.  Devon took a deep breath and walked right up to Hadley.  She placed Hadley’s food down in front of her, and Hadley didn’t look up once.  Devon tucked her tray under her arm and waited.

“You can go,” Hadley said coldly.

“Hadley, I’m sorry,” Devon whispered.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.  “I just want to eat lunch.”

“Can’t we talk?” Devon asked.

Hadley stood fiercely and glared at Devon.  She turned on her heel and walked toward the door, and Devon just stood there, dumbfounded.  Devon had never known Hadley to hold a grudge, especially not one this ferocious.  Were the drugs addling her brain this much?  How much more was she using since she and Devon had last spoken?

Devon rushed around the bar, but Brennan was already there, striding toward Hadley.  He reached her right before she got to the door and pulled her aside.  Devon was close behind, but Brennan shot her a warning look, so she retreated a few paces.  She was just close enough to make out some of what they were saying.

“Come on, Hadley,” Brennan said, dropping his arm.

“Why are you sticking your nose in this?” Hadley asked.

“Why aren’t you giving her a chance?  Didn’t you say she was your best friend?  Haven’t you known each other for years?  What could possibly be keeping you from making up with her?” he asked pointedly.

“Oh god, not you, too,” she said.  “Don’t become a hypocrite.  I don’t need to hear it from you as well.”

“Hadley, I don’t give two shits about what you’re doing in your free time.  I only care about who you’re hurting—yourself and Devon.  This goes beyond you.  Just give her a chance.”

Devon could see the hard look in his eyes even from where she stood. She marveled at his smooth words.  He wasn’t one for conversation when they worked together.

“I can’t deal with this right now,” Hadley said, pushing him away.

He reached out and took her arm again.  “It doesn’t all have to be better today.  But don’t you think she’s hurting, too?”

When he lowered his voice, Devon strained to hear.

“Don’t you see that she’s here for a reason?” he whispered.

Devon lost the rest as her stomach dropped.  How could Brennan know that?  Was she that obvious? Or was he a good guesser?  Either way, it terrified her that he was that perceptive when they didn’t even talk all that often.  She had let her guard down without even knowing it.

Retreating a couple more feet until she was entirely out of earshot, she contemplated how she had let this happen.  When had she allowed herself to be this secure?  When had she forgotten how tenuous the thread was, and how easily it could snap, bringing down all her nightmares around her?

This wasn’t just about Brennan because she hadn’t even known she was weakening around him.  This was about Garrett, too.  He was just so incredibly nice, and she hadn’t met anyone quite like him.  They had spent more and more time together, staying up to watch Netflix late at night after they had gotten off work, laughing about the absurd hours of their jobs, and marveling in their shared love of dessert.  How many times in the past week had she wanted to tell Garrett?  She had held her tongue, but the more comfortable she got, the more she wanted someone to know.

Devon bit her lip and tried to hold in all her emotions.  She had to deal with Hadley first.

After her conversation with Brennan, who had immediately made himself scarce, Hadley approached her.

“Can we talk…in private?” Hadley asked, obviously still unsure about it all.

“Yeah,” Devon said.  “Let me just tell Amy that I’m taking a break.”

HADLEY AND DEVON sat in the break room in the back of Jenn’s.  Devon missed her friend, and it was in that moment that she fully realized it.  She wished she could unload all her problems on Hadley and have her put them all together in the right order, but Hadley already had too much to deal with.  She couldn’t also suffer from Devon’s issues.

“So…” Hadley said.

Devon nodded.  “So…”

“I see you have a job at Jenn’s.”

“Yep,” Devon said.  She didn’t know what Hadley wanted to say, and she thought it was best to allow her to direct the conversation.

“How did that happen?”

“Brennan helped me out when I couldn’t find anything else.”

“He’s a nice guy, that one,” Hadley said absentmindedly.

“So it seems.” Devon said.

“I guess I’ll just go ahead and say it.  I’m pretty pissed at you, and it’s not going to get better right away,” Hadley said.  “You violated my trust, not to mention my hospitality.  It’s going to take a while before I start to trust you again.”

Devon nodded slowly, not sure what to say.  That much was true.

“But…I know that I violated your trust, too.  I’m not going to talk to you about my problems.  They’re mine.  When I’m ready, we’ll figure it out, but until then, I don’t want you to interfere.”

“Hadley,” Devon interrupted.  Hadley had to be reasonable.

“No,” she said, holding up her hand as she stood.  “They’re my issues.  I’m not begging you to tell me yours, and I know you have some.  I’ve always known, but it’s your business.”

“I think you need help, Hadley,” Devon said softly, feeling like a hypocrite.

“I think you don’t know everything about what I’m going through.  All I’m saying now,” Hadley said, taking a step toward the door, “is that I’m tired of tiptoeing through my life.  I’ll come and go as I please.  I’ll be at the apartment and Jenn’s.  Brennan has a gig coming up soon, and I’ll be at that, too.  I’m sure you’ll be there, and I’m tired of it being awkward.  Let’s just go from there.  We’ll let the trust rebuild naturally.”

“Hadley, please,” Devon said, desperate to reach her friend. “I am sorry about what happened.”  She choked on her words, wishing that it could all go back to the way it was.