Lexi shook her head. “You forget my roommates.” She threw a few items aimlessly into the cart and continued down the aisle.
“Are they there right now?” Lexi knew they weren’t, but there was no way she was telling him that. She didn’t know her roommates’ schedules by heart, and if she was found with Jack, there would be a lot of explaining to do. And explaining why she was talking to him again was not something she was interested in. “Silence means they’re not?” Jack guessed.
“I don’t know when they are or are not there,” she told him noncommittally.
“I just really want to see you. We’ve both been so busy. It feels like forever since I ran into you at Chamber.”
“Yeah, about that. How did you know I was going to be there? You never told me,” she said switching ears to adjust the uncomfortable feeling creeping through her shoulder. She couldn’t afford to have aching muscles with gymnastics conditioning beginning soon.
“Don’t try to change the subject. When do I get to see you?”
“You can’t see me until you answer.”
“I won’t answer until I see you.”
“Well, I guess we’re at a stalemate,” Lexi said attempting to maneuver the shopping cart one-handed.
“Okay fine. If I tell you, you promise you’ll come see me? My roommates are out of town, and we’d have the house to ourselves.”
All of a sudden, the invitation seemed very enticing. God, she knew she shouldn’t even be talking to him. Spencer had no idea about the conversations they had been having, and she had no real desire to tell him. Sometimes she swore that he knew that something was different about her. Jack made her different. That wonderful month they had shared together, even though he had had a girlfriend, had changed her. Jack just made her glow, which was the exact reason she could not tell Spencer about Jack.
Spencer would never understand. Sure he acted goofy and played everything off like it was a joke, but she knew that he would see more into it. And there wasn’t more to it. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself.
“So, what do you say, Lex? You’ll come over?” he asked, persuasion etched in every line.
She weighed her options. Spencer was also out of town for the weekend. His great-aunt something-or-other from some no name city in Vermont was visiting his parents, and he was obligated to entertain her. She hadn’t been too keen on the details. No matter how many times he argued with his parents about having previous arrangements, he couldn’t’ get out of it, and she couldn’t accompany him. His family was very old fashioned.
He would be none the wiser if she happened to spend a few hours of her afternoon at an old friend’s house. Then again, she felt guilty enough for not telling him about the phone conversations and text messages. How would she feel if she spent time with Jack? A knot formed at the pit of her stomach.
“Just to talk?” she peeped, already knowing his answer.
“Of course, if that’s what you want.”
“You can keep your hands to yourself?” she practically whispered into the other line. She glanced around the nearly empty aisle checking for people she knew or potential eavesdroppers...anyone at all that looked suspicious. If she found one person, she would turn him down flat. But she didn’t notice anyone.
“I can if you can,” he deadpanned.
“Well, I don’t know,” she said prolonging the moment.
“You don’t know if you can keep your hands to yourself?” he asked with a chuckle. “You should definitely come over.”
“Oh, ha. Ha. I don’t know if I should come over.”
“Lex, I already told you I just want to spend a little time with you. I know you want to come over, and there’s no reason for you not to. If one of your other guy friends asked you to hang out right this instant, what would you tell him?” She remained silent. He already knew what she was thinking. There would be no reservations in going to hang out with another guy. Any other guy wasn’t Jack. Plain and simple. “That’s what I thought. So, come see me.”
“You know what. Fine. Whatever. If you say we’re just going to sit around and talk and hang out, then I’ll come over. But only if you tell me how you knew I’d be at Chamber,” she said giving into him.
“Okay, that’s an easy one,” Jack said coolly.
Just then, Lexi’s phone began to beep in her ear. “Hold that thought,” she said, glancing down at the number beeping into the line. She swore as she read the name.
“Hey, can I call you back?” she asked Jack impatiently. “I have to take this call.”
“You’re still coming over right?”
“Sure. And you will finish your story there.”
“Alright. See you soon.”
Lexi clicked over to the other line. “Hey baby,” she trilled into the phone. “How’s hanging out with the fam?”
“It’s so dull without you here,” Spencer complained. “Maybe I could still convince them to let you come up here and visit.”
Lexi giggled. “In what lifetime? Your sister got married last year, and they still have trouble letting her husband come to family events.”
“You’re right, dear. I wish I could change things.”
She waved the comments off. No need for him to be even sweeter than normal. That would just make her feel worse. “Your family is the way it is. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Well, I don’t agree with you on that, but I appreciate it. It would make me feel better if you were with me though. There’s only so much family backgammon I can take,” he said chuckling heartily. “So, what are you doing? Have any big plans for the evening? Weekend get-away while I’m not in town?”
Lexi stopped dead in her tracks in the middle of the frozen food section. Did he know about her plans? She shook her head. Of course, there was no way for him to know. She had just decided herself. How could he know something like that? She steadied herself on the shopping cart and let her breath even out. “Nope. I’m probably just going to be boring while you’re gone. Hang out with Olivia. Finish my Spinoza reading. Stuff like that,” she said terrified that guilt was creeping into her voice and he would notice.
“Aww…baby… just because I’m gone doesn’t mean you can’t go out and do something. You know what?”
“No,” she croaked.
“I want you to have a good time, a really good time while I’m gone. It’s my fault you’re all by yourself this weekend. I feel obligated to tell you that you need to do something fun and crazy. I don’t want you sitting at home doing homework on a Friday night.”
“I…well…”
“Nope. That’s final. If you don’t have a good time tonight, then I’m the one to take the blame. So go home, put on something cute, and go out tonight, okay?”
“Okay,” she mumbled.
“Oh, I’m so sorry I’m not there,” he moaned, misinterpreting her guilty conscience.
“It’s…it’s fine. You have family stuff.”
“I just wish I could be there with you. I have to go, but I’ll call you tomorrow to find out how your night went. You’ll let me know how great it was, right? I love you, baby. Bye.”
Spencer hung up so fast he didn’t even hear her whispered good-bye or the fact that she completely neglected saying I love you too.
Lexi tucked her phone back into her pocket. She felt worse about going to see Jack now that she had spoken with Spencer. He wanted her to have a good time, and she knew she would if she actually went to Jack’s house. It just wouldn’t be the kind of fun that would be in her best interest, or her relationship’s best interest.
She couldn’t go see him. He had promised they would just talk, but she just couldn’t do it. What she remembered the most about Jack was the lack of control. Her actions were compelled by him. She was compelled by him. Every time she found herself in his presence, she acted as if she was possessed. It was easy to conjure up how she had felt when she had been so enraptured in him that she could hardly sleep at night. She couldn’t let herself go there again.