“And with Ethan?”

“It’s completely different when I’m with Ethan. I feel like when he’s there with me, he’s really there with me, and present at that moment. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I’m the only thing that matters. But I also haven’t known Ethan for that long. What if what we have is just an infatuation that will die out after a few months?”

“Liv, I think you already know your answer. Just follow your heart. It will never lead you astray. Connor and Ethan sound like they’re completely different guys. Even though you had a great rewarding relationship with Connor, and in some ways, that feels comfortable to you, don’t miss out on the rare chance of having a real, can’t-live-without-each-other love because you’re scared of it and it feels less certain and secure.”

I mulled over Anna’s advice and realized she was right. Life wasn’t about playing it safe. It was about following one’s heart. And my heart was telling me that I had to end things with Connor.

CHAPTE R TEN

Even though it had only been a day since my birthday, I’d felt as if my whole world had changed within the last twenty-four hours.

Connor had called me late morning to tell me that he would be home around eight o’clock in the evening. Our conversation was short and strained. After I had lied to him about spending my birthday with Anna, I made an excuse so I could quickly end the call. I felt awful lying to him, but I also didn’t want to tell him anything else over the phone. I knew the right thing to do was to tell him in person. He deserved at least that.

A little after seven, I sent Ethan a text.

Me: Hi. He’ll be back in an hour. I’m going to tell him it’s over.

Ethan: What are you going to tell him? Are you going to mention me?

Me: No, I won’t. I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I have to.

Ethan: Okay, that makes sense. Do you want me to stop by? I can wait outside if you need a ride.

Me: Thanks, but I’m okay. I don’t want to run the risk of him seeing you. Besides, I’ll be staying with Anna.

Ethan: Let me know if you need me. I’ll be here waiting…with plenty of eggs. ;)

Me: Okay I will, weirdo. LOL. :)

***

As I heard the front door open, I knew it could only be Connor. I had excused Bill and Debra for the rest of the night, and asked them to not be around the house for the rest of the evening. I knew that Connor would be devastated and I didn’t want his employees to be around to see him at his most vulnerable.

“Honey?” I heard his voice from downstairs.

“I’m up here in the reading room,” I yelled.

A feeling of dread washed over me as I heard his footsteps coming up the spiral staircase. I took a few deep breaths to try to slow down the violent beating of my heart against my chest. I closed my eyes and mentally ran through the things I wanted to say to him.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Connor walked into the room, still in his business suit.

I forced a small smile and stood up from the lounger. “Hi.”

“Happy birthday, baby. I’m so sorry I couldn’t get back yesterday.” He flashed me an apologetic smile and handed me a small red Cartier shopping bag. “Open it. I think you’ll like it.”

I stared at the shopping bag and didn’t move forward to take it from him.

As if he didn’t notice my lack of movement, he smiled and reached inside the small bag. “It’s the Cartier watch you’d been eyeing for awhile.” He pulled out a square red box and opened it to show me the stunning gold watch inside.

“Connor, you shouldn’t have.” I frowned, realizing this was going to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

He sighed. “I know you’re probably still upset with me.” His voice was sweet and smooth. He walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug. My body was limp against his embrace and I didn’t hug him back.

“Connor…” I began. Then when he leaned down and tried to kiss me, I placed both hands against his chest to stop him, and took a step back. “Connor,” I said with more forcefulness than before. “We need to talk.” My voice was calm and serious.

“What is it, baby?”

I met his troubled gaze and felt a pang of guilt shoot through me. “Can we sit down and talk?” I motioned to the large couch in the room.

“Is something wrong? Please don’t be mad about yesterday. I really didn’t have a choice. This is a multi-billion dollar deal, and if all goes well, it’s going to take Brady Global to the next level.”

I shook my head slowly. “No, I’m not mad at you.” I looked at him and felt my face grow hot with anxiety. “Connor, first I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me, especially during the last two months after my accident. I know I will never be able to repay you for all your care, patience, and love you’ve shown me.”

He reached for my hand, and I knew he could feel how cold they were against his. “What’s this all about, Liv?”

I forced myself to look him straight in the eyes. “Connor, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think I’ve changed since my accident. I’m not the woman you fell in love with. I’m not the woman that was once completely devoted to Brady Global and had gladly worked long hours along side of you for the company.” A few tears fell down my cheeks and I quickly brushed them aside. “I don’t know where that person is, and I don’t know if she’ll ever return. But…” I gazed intently into his eyes, hoping he can see how difficult this was for me. “But I don’t think we should get married.”

“I don’t understand.” His voice came out with a rushed urgency as he searched my face for an explanation. “So you want to cancel our engagement? Baby, I understand you need more time to adjust. We can just have a long engagement. We don’t need to cancel it just so that we can date and get engaged again at a later date when you’re ready.”

“No, that’s not it.” I frowned, realizing he didn’t understand what I wanted. I drew in a deep breath. “What I meant was, I don’t think we should be together anymore. I don’t think we’re compatible.”

His face twisted with a mixture of pain and anger. “Where is this coming from?” His voice was louder than before.

“Connor, it’s not you, it’s me.” I cringed at how cliché my words were. “I’m the one that’s changed, not you. And as much as I had hoped we would work out and rekindle the love that we had before the accident, I don’t think that will happen. I don’t think we want the same things in life.”

“So that’s it? You’re just going to give up so easily on us and leave me?” His words were cold and exact. “I didn’t give up on you when you were in the coma. The doctors didn’t know when you’d wake up, but I stuck around by your side through it all. My love for you never wavered.”

His words were painful to hear and I found myself drowning with guilt.

“I’m really sorry, Connor. This isn’t easy for me. If truth be told, I had been thinking about us for some time now, trying to convince myself that I could make it work between us. But after everything that had happened during the past two weeks, I realized something. You’ll never be in love with the current me. You’re in love with the me before the accident, the person who was passionate about Brady Global and had consumed herself in her work there. You two fell in love as a result of that shared passion. But, I’m not her, and even if I regain my memories, I don’t think I’ll ever be her again.”

I took off the emerald diamond necklace from around my neck and removed the engagement ring from my ring finger. “I’m so sorry, Connor,” I placed both items on the coffee table in front of us and got up from the couch. “Like I said, I’m so thankful for everything you’ve done for me. I really didn’t mean to hurt you or make you upset. I just wanted to be honest with you sooner rather than later.” I took a few more steps toward the reading room door. “I should go. I’ve already moved my things to Anna’s and—”