“Oh.” I could tell Jackson was uncomfortable when we talked about my mom because I was always sad when we talked about her.

“Aunt Betty said that my mom had to go back to different places to try to get better. And that was why I can’t live with her. The people who made me live with Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom won’t let me move back with my mom until she’s able to get completely better.”

“I see.” Jax looked at me and then looked away. I could tell he wanted to say something but didn’t want to hurt my feelings. He made that same face when I would bring him a lunchbox item that he didn’t really want to eat but didn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me. Sometimes he’d eat it anyway to make me happy. Other times, I’d seen him try to throw it away when he didn’t think I was watching.

“What are you thinking?” I finally asked.

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

“No, tell me. Come on.” I pushed out my lips in a pout. “I’m not going to get mad, I promise.”

He looked at me before asking, “Okay, you promise?”

I nodded.

“Well…” He paused. “I like that you don’t live with your mom, and you live with your aunt and uncle.”

I felt a little hurt by his words. “Why would you want my mom to be sick?”

“No,” he said quickly and shook his head. “I don’t want your mom to be sick. I … I just like that you live next door, and not far away from me.” He bowed his head and began to shift uncomfortably. “I would really miss you.”

“Oh.” The hurt I felt moments ago was gone, and a warm feeling across my chest took its place. “I would miss you too, Jax.”

“You would?” His whole face lit up as he met my gaze.

I smiled. “Yeah. Of course. You’re my first and best friend. I would miss hanging out with you.”

“Best friend?” He smiled, but the gleam in his eyes wasn’t there anymore.

“Yes. Best friends forever.” I beamed at him, feeling so lucky to be able to share my secrets with him.

***

November 1994

Ten Years Old

A pair of hands grabbed me from behind, causing me to shriek and drop the pristine Charlotte’s Web book in my hands.

“Happy birthday!” Jax jumped up in front of me with a big grin on his face.

“Thanks,” I said absentmindedly as I quickly bent down to pick up the book. I brushed off some dust and examined it to make sure the corners were not damaged. I let out a sigh of relief; it was still perfect.

“What’s that?” He eyed the brand new book in my hand.

“It’s a birthday gift from my mom.” I ran my hand across the cover and smiled. “It’s a first edition copy of Charlotte’s Web, my favorite book.”

“Oh really? I thought you hadn’t seen her in a while.”

The truth of his words stung.

“Aunt Betty gave it to me this morning before school.”

“Oh.” He scrunched his face. “How do you know it’s from your mom, then?”

“Aunt Betty said so.”

“Oh.” He didn’t say another word, but I knew what he was thinking.

I was thinking the same thing. Did my mom really get me a present? Did she even remember my birthday? Or was this gift really from Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom?

“That’s a nice gift,” Jackson said in a rush of excitement, quickly changing his tune when he noticed the frown on my face. “You love to read so your mom must have really been thinking of you.”

“Yeah.” I flashed him a smile, but a part of me felt sad. I looked back at the book in my hand, and the cover looked a little less glossy and pretty than it had a minute ago. I realized then that I’d never mentioned Charlotte’s Web to my mom before during any of my visits.

“Here’s your lunch.” I pulled a brown paper bag from my opened locker and handed it to Jackson, trying to change the subject.

“Oh. What did Aunt Betty pack today?” Jackson grabbed the bag from my hand and dug into it without waiting another minute.

I shrugged and followed him toward our next class together. “I think she made that roast beef panini you really like.”

“God, she’s the best!” His eyes lit up like it was Christmas. For as long as I’d known Jackson, his parents weren’t home very much. His dad was a professor at University of Pennsylvania and his mom was a corporate attorney at some big law firm in Philadelphia. They both worked long hours and always gave Jackson money for lunch. But Jackson had gotten sick of school cafeteria food years ago and I had started giving him half of the lunch Aunt Betty would make me. When Aunt Betty discovered this, she started to make two lunches every morning so that there would always be enough for the both of us.

“So wha does da buffday girl want to do today?” Jackson asked with a mouthful of the roast beef sandwich.

I laughed. “Jax. It’s only ten thirty in the morning. We still have two more periods left before lunch.”

“What? I’m hungry?” He shrugged and took another large bite of the sandwich.

I shook my head. “Just don’t eat half of my lunch when it’s actually lunchtime because you’ve finished yours.”

He gave me a sheepish smile. “Well, no promises there.”

I giggled and punched him playfully on the arm.

“So seriously, though, what would you like to do today after school?”

I frowned, feeling a heaviness in my heart. “I’d like to see my mom today for my tenth birthday; I’d like my mom to smile and hum to me while she braids my hair.” I paused, realizing how bitter I sounded. “Never mind. I don’t have any plans.” I walked a little faster ahead so he couldn’t see the moisture in my eyes.

“Wait—” He ran after me. “It’s your birthday. Why can’t you do that? I can see if Maria can take us if your aunt and uncle can’t get out of work to take you.

I couldn’t help but smile at Jackson’s offer. “Thanks … but that’s okay. Aunt Betty said that it’s not a good idea to visit her right now.”

“What? Why not?”

“She says my mom’s been really sick and her doctor doesn’t think I should see her at this time.”

“Oh.”

I watched Jackson put the rest of his sandwich back into the paper bag. “That sucks, Clo. I’m sorry.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a hug.

I was going to resist, and had for just a second, but as soon as he wrapped his arms around me, I knew that it was exactly what I needed at that moment.

CHAPTE R EIGHT

Spring 1998

Thirteen Years Old

It was the call no one is ever prepared for. It was the call no one ever wants to receive. It was the call no one ever wishes upon even their worst enemies.

But it was the call I was about to receive that day.

It was an idle Wednesday afternoon, much like any other during a school week. I was at home doing my homework and waiting for Jackson to come over after he was done with his track practice.

I was working on my pre-algebra problem, sitting at the coffee table in the living room while MTV’s Total Request Live was playing in the background. Carson Daly was talking to a few people from the live studio audience at the moment but I knew he was about to reveal the sixth most requested music video of the day. I had my fingers crossed that it would be Savage Garden’s “Truly Madly Deeply,” my favorite song. I’d been calling and voting every day for several months now to make sure it was getting enough votes. I’d even had Jackson call and vote from the phone in his house every day—okay, so most days I’d had to call for him, but to me, that was merely a technicality, and at the end of the day, “Truly Madly Deeply” was getting at least two votes every day. It was number six yesterday and being the loyal fan that I was, I didn’t want it to fall to seventh place. So I was anxiously waiting for Carson to announce the video that was in sixth place.

Just then, the telephone started to ring. I walked over to the kitchen counter to grab the phone, my eyes never leaving the TV screen.