His lips curled into a small smile. “Yeah, I don’t usually. But I wasn’t sure what to do.”

Understanding what he meant, I rolled my eyes. “Jax, you have other friends besides me to hang out with. And you love watching TV and browsing the internet—”

“No. No. You misunderstood me,” he interrupted. “I meant I’ve been doing a lot of reading about…well…about what you’re going through right now and how a friend is supposed to help.”

“Oh.” I was touched by his desire to understand what I was going through.

He looked down and looked uncomfortable. “Clo, it really kills me to see you so sad, and I just didn’t know what I could do to help you.”

I shook my head apologetically. “Jax, there isn’t really anything you can do, just like there isn’t really anything I can do.”

“I know.” He nodded solemnly. “All the things I’ve read said that it takes time, and what you need right now is time.”

“Yeah.”

“But I think you need something else as well.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“You need me. You need to be around the people you care about and the people who care about you.”

His words struck a chord with me, and I knew he was right. When Aunt Betty had left me alone earlier, I knew that was the last thing I had wanted.

But before I could agree with him, he continued. “I know you, you don’t want people to help you. You want to face this alone because you’re so used to facing life’s challenges on your own. So you never ask for help. But…” His voice cracked. Suddenly he grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. “As your best friend who loves you more than you’ll ever know, I can’t just stand by and watch you face this on your own. I know you think you want to push me away. I know you think you want to be alone. I know you think you’re in this alone. But you’re wrong.”

“You’re right,” I finally said.

“So I’m—what? I’m right?” He was surprised by my admission, and I could tell it was the last thing he’d expected.

“Yeah.” I paused, realizing how vulnerable I was feeling. “I’ve been really lonely lately.”

“Clo, you don’t have to be lonely.”

I nodded.

“Hey, I have a surprise for you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You do? What is it?”

He lifted a bag from beside him and grinned at me. “It’s in here.”

“Okay…” Confused by what he was about to show me, I watched him take something out of the bag.

“Come on. Sit down on the floor first while I get this set up.” I could hear the excitement in his voice.

“Okay, but what are you going to do?” I sat down in the middle of the floor and watched him move around my room.

“You’ll see in a minute.” He turned off the TV and then my bedroom lamp, leaving only the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling visible in the pitch-black room.

“Okay…do you need me to do anything?” I asked tentatively.

“Yeah, lie down on the floor so you’re looking up at the ceiling.” I heard him plop himself down on the floor next to me. “I’m going to lie down next to you.

“Okay…” I said again, but this time, I couldn’t help but giggle. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but the anticipation of the surprise temporarily lifted the heaviness that’d been weighing down on my heart.

“You ready?” He said next to me on the floor.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

I heard him click something on.

I gasped at what I saw.

My entire room suddenly glowed with a kaleidoscope of magical lights that moved across the room.

“It’s just a rotating disco ball that shines different colors of laser lights. It was the closest thing I could find that might work. It’s my version of a—”

“Aurora borealis,” I finished his words for him as I stared up at my ceiling in wonder.

“I know it’s not the real thing and we’re not in glass igloos,” he began softly as he looked over at me, “but I really wanted to—”

“Jax,” I cut him off with a whisper as I blinked away the hot tears that blinded my eyes. “It’s amazing. It’s better than the real thing.” Our eyes met and I hoped that he could see how grateful I was for this moment—how grateful I was for him in my life.

“I’m glad you like it, Clo. I wanted to do something that would make you smile.” He spoke in a soft whisper, as if talking louder would make this moment go away.

“Do you know why I love the sky and the stars?” I looked up at the rich glows of reds, blues, and greens dancing across the off-white ceiling filled with stars.

“Why?”

“It’s always been amazing to me to know that the magic of the sky and the stars happens every day. It’s just beautiful and all around us. Sometimes we just have to take the time to notice something to see how amazing it is.”

“You’re right.” His voice was warm and tender, and from the corner of my eye, I noticed he had turned to look at me. “Once you take notice of that something, you don’t know how you’d ever lived without it.”

I don’t know why, but I felt my cheeks flush at his words.

I turned to look at him, and we shared a smile that caused my heart to skip a beat.

“Thank you, Jax. This was exactly what I needed tonight. I was really lonely.”

“Clo, you never have to feel lonely because I’m here for you.”

His words touched me in a way I didn’t know was possible. “I hope so, Jax. My mom died alone.”

“You don’t have to hope. I promise.”

“Promises can be broken,” I whispered as my thoughts went to all the broken promises my mom had made me.

“Not mine, Clo,” he said firmly.

I smiled, wanting to believe his every word.

He could tell I was not convinced.

“Clo?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to make a pact?”

“A pact? What kind of pact?”

He grinned. “How about when we get old, like when we turn thirty or something, and we’re still single and not married, we can marry each other? That way, you’ll never have to worry about being lonely again.”

“Really?” I wasn’t sure if he was joking, but the idea of being with Jackson forever made me really happy.

“Yeah, really. We are best friends. We love each other and care about each other.”

His words caused my heart to pound against my chest so violently, I wondered if he could hear it.

“Okay,” I whispered as we inched closer to each other. “If we’re both single when we turn thirty, I’ll marry you.”

“Deal,” he whispered softly. His hand reached for my face and he gently brushed through my hair as he gazed into my eyes. His face sparkled with the myriad of lights that moved across his face, making him look more beautiful than I’d remembered.

I wasn’t sure how it happened, but his mouth brushed against mine, and our lips met in a warm, sweet kiss that seemed to melt my insides. It was my first kiss. It was our first kiss. And it was perfect.

CHAPTE R TEN

Present Day

On my flight from Los Angeles to Philadelphia for Clara’s wedding, I realized that I had no real friends left in Los Angeles. Carly was the first friend I’d met when I moved to Los Angeles years ago. Then she introduced me to the three other girls in our circle of five girlfriends. After two years, I thought they were as much my friend as they were Carly’s. But I was wrong. After I caught Jeff cheating with Carly, none of the girls reached out to me. There were no calls, no emails, no texts. Not even a Google instant message. I had even kept a browser opened to my Gmail account just so I’d always be online and available to chat on Google Talk so they could see me. And I’d seen them online. But no one reached out. It had been radio silence.

It was after the Jeff and Carly incident that I knew for the first time where I stood with them. Apparently it hadn’t mattered to them who was in the wrong. Those girls were obviously more Carly’s friends than mine.