Macie released my hand and sat back in her chair. “What do you mean ‘figure out what I’m going to do’? What is there to figure out? I’m going to go find my TA after lunch, ask for the study guide, head to work for an hour, and then get Sarah.”

“No, I meant in the long term. I think it’s time you move out of that house and have your own space. Start living your own life.”

I scrunched my nose. “I have my own life.” She gave me a stern ‘cut the shit’ look. “Okay, so I don’t have my own life. But that doesn’t matter, does it? I have a job where I barely make more than what covers my expenses, let alone my mom’s. I couldn’t afford a place right now even if I wanted to.”

Macie sat there clearly trying to think of a way around my predicament, her perfectly manicured French tip nails tapping on the table. I decided to take advantage of the silence and began scarfing down my pizza. The greasy cheese wasn’t going to sit well with me later, but I was hungry and didn’t care. I had just reached for my soda when her hand shot out and grabbed a hold of my wrist, startling me.

“I’ve got it!” she shouted a little too loud.

“Jesus Mace, keep it down.”

“Sorry.” She looked around the still pretty empty space. “I know what’s going to solve your problems,” she said softer.

“Enlighten me, oh wise one,” I said sarcastically.

“You can’t afford a place on your own, and I’d totally be your roommate if I could, but Daddy gives me money, so I’m going to mooch while I can.” The girl’s parents were filthy rich. Her mom worked as a city councilwoman, and her dad was a doctor. I didn’t blame her for drinking from that well while it was still providing.

“Okay, so what do you suggest?”

“Well, if I can’t be your roommate, then let’s find you one.” She said it like it was the most simple explanation ever.

“Like where, Craigslist? I’m not looking for a roommate on Craigslist Mace. So don’t even suggest it.”

I was getting up to go dump my empty pizza box in the trash. “Not from Craigslist. Jesus, I don’t want you killed by an ax murderer. I meant from ads posted around campus.” She grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the Common Center where students went to study or hang out. “I’ve seen flyers pinned up on the bulletin boards. Let’s see if we can find you a roomy.”

When we got inside the building there were a few students milling about chatting and others with their nose stuck in a book. As soon as we opened the door, wind caught some of the papers that were hanging right inside, causing them to blow around. We scoured the boards for about five minutes, plucking off the little cut edges that had a name and phone number on them. Honestly, none of them looked promising. They either lived in a crappy part of town, or they wanted more than I could afford.

“Bingo!” Macie grinned while lifting up some papers covering the one she was reading.

I was shuffling the few that I had in my hand and trying to shove them in my back pocket. “What’d you find?”

Macie read the ad, but I didn’t understand what about it made her say ‘bingo’. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure I heard you say they were looking for a male. Last I checked I wasn’t sporting an extra appendage.”

“No, it said they would consider a chick too. Just think about it. The Ridgewood Apartments are right around the corner from campus, and only two blocks away from your work. Those are really nice, and rent is within the amount you could afford. Plus, it’s a guy. Who doesn’t want to live with a hot guy twenty-four-seven? It beats living with some crazy-ass female who is constantly stealing your clothes and makeup. Dude I’d cut a bitch for touching my eyeliner.”

I rolled my eyes. “Who said it was a hot guy? He could be a complete nerd who wears his pants up to his belly button, a pair of loafers with tassels, horn-rimmed glasses, and be covered in pimples. Better yet, he could be a gamer who doesn’t move from the couch and smokes five packs of cigarettes a day, which if you think about it could endanger my life. He could fall asleep with a cigarette in his mouth, and next thing you know, you will be reading about me in the paper and how they could only identify my remains by my dental records.”

She tore the number off the bottom of the page and handed it to me. “You’re psychotic.”

I slipped the paper in my back pocket and told myself I would throw it away later. “Be realistic Mace. None of these seem like they will work. I’m going to have to stay with my mom for a while longer until I can get my feet under me. At least then I could go find my own place and not have to worry if I’m signing a lease with the roommate from hell.”

She stood with her hands on her hips, and she watched me for a second before she said, “Has anyone ever told you that you are a very pessimistic person?”

I smiled. “Only you. Now come on, I need to head to work, and you have class.”

“Keegan, can you take that stack of papers and file them in the records that I left out last night? I’m so behind!” Marsha asked from her desk.

I worked part-time at a doctor’s office in their medical records room. It was usually only Marsha and me that occupied this space. She had been here for almost ten years, and she was the one who hired me to help her out. When Doctor Hill increased his number of patients and hired a physician’s assistant, Marsha’s workload doubled. She was technically my boss and who I asked for time off or when I needed to cut out early to take care of stuff at home. I was thankful for that because she was nice to me.

“Sure, no problem!” I answered as I grabbed the papers and started the filing. “Ugh, when is Dr. Hill going to move to an electronic system?”

She looked up at me over the top of her leopard print glasses. “Probably never. He’s old-school and likes to have a paper trail.”

I grumbled as I moved between two tall shelves that housed stacks of medical records. While I filed I asked Marsha, “Hey you don’t mind if I head out a bit early do you? My mom needs me to pick up my sister from practice.”

“You know I don’t have a problem with it.”

We continued working for another hour before I needed to leave. I gathered my things and said goodbye before I stepped out into the bright sun. I shivered a little as I walked to my car. It was the middle of fall here in Georgia, and today it felt every bit of crisp and cool. The leaves hadn’t started changing yet, but they would soon. This was my favorite time of year. Next month I’d be taking Sarah to the pumpkin patch out in the country so we could pick our own pumpkins for Halloween.

After picking Sarah up, I drove back to campus and met up with the TA so I could get the study notes for class. He went through a few things on the sheet to help me understand it better, but honestly I was more confused and deflated by the time I got back to my car. Sarah had been skipping along happily beside me, and it was unfortunate I couldn’t mirror her enthusiasm. My A&P class was very important. The sciences held more weight on your academic record than say, sociology, when it came time to turn in your nursing application for the program. If I didn’t walk away from this class with an A I would have to retake it. Looking at Sarah in the backseat bouncing around, I missed the days of being carefree. No worries, or cares other than deciding what I would have for a snack after school. Something needed to change. I was starting to think that maybe Macie was onto something. Could moving out be my answer to getting my life under control? How would my mom take the news? The guilt of leaving her and Sarah to fend for themselves was creeping up my throat and making my eyes sting. The fact that I felt that responsible for the both of them spoke volumes. Well, in my head it did, but the guilt in my heart was what led to me stay. When I pulled up at the house, Sarah unbuckled and went running inside. I sat in my car for a few more moments. My pocket held at least ten ripped pieces of papers with phone numbers on them. The mere idea of calling any of them made me leery. I’d never lived on my own. I knew I could take care of myself if I left, but I worried about what would happen with Mom and Sarah. Maybe I could just call a few of them to see what they were offering and make my decision after that? Who said I would have to commit to any of them just because I called to ask? Yeah, that was what I’d do. I got out of the car and walked inside. The problem: I knew as soon as the thought crossed my mind that I would find an excuse for each one of numbers I called. No matter how perfect they would sound, they just wouldn’t work out for me.