And that those were the memories I used to strengthen my resolve when I thought about what I wanted to do that day.

Because it hadn't been the whole truth when I told Liam that I wanted to see the city in this golden morning light. I'd also wanted to steer clear of that psychic way he had with me.

He'd suss out what I meant to do, and he'd probably try and stop me. And since I knew he'd probably succeed (when didn't he?) I knew the best way to avoid that solution was to cut him from the equation.

I meant to go see Dr. Aretino at his office hours today. I wanted to give him one last chance before I put match to kindling and stopped his fire in its tracks.

Liam would tell me that it was pointless. Dr. Aretino wouldn't budge. And I had the strong inkling that he was right. But I still had to try, if only for the sake of my conscience.

Though when Liam had caught me up and gave me a long, deep kiss goodbye I thought he suspected my true reasons.

Maybe he knew it was something I had to do.

And that made me wish all this drama was all over so that I could get down to the real business of being with him. Soon, I told myself. Soon.

From there, I took a quick stop at my flat to pull on some clothes that weren't wrinkled and then it was another bus ride to the Sapienza campus.

I arrived outside Dr. Aretino's office in time to see a young woman step out. I recognized her from class. Angelina or Annalisa, I couldn't remember which. She was normally quiet in class, but when she did speak she always had something insightful to say.

And she was quite pretty. Dark hair that spilled in springy ringlets to her shoulders, doe eyes and full lips accentuating her heart-shaped face.

"Hey!" I said.

She either didn't notice me or deliberately ignored me, quickly disappearing down a bend in the hall. I frowned after her.

A pretty, young woman stepping out of Dr. Aretino's office with a troubled look on her face? It wasn't hard to see the good professor's modus operandi.

I wanted to go back, then. Maybe spend the rest of the day with Liam. I could hear Dr. Aretino rustling papers on his desk, hear the squeak of his office chair as he rotated it.

Just clear your conscience, at least, I thought.

So for once I swallowed my fear and knocked on his partially closed door. Angelina (Annalisa?) had swung it most of the way shut on her way out.

"Ci?" Dr. Aretino said from within.

"It's me, Emma," I said.

"Emma? Come, come. Yes, come in," he said, standing up and then opening the door the rest of the way. He waved me to the padded chair in front of his desk and then sat in his on the other side.

The back wall of his office was a large window that looked out across a quad lined with trees. It was a spacious room, not like the janitor's closets-turned-offices of professors I'd had back in the States.

Bookcases lined both side walls, filled mostly with volumes on European art of the last 700 years or so. On his desk he had a plaque with his name on it, a slim computer monitor and keyboard, and a golden miniature of Atlas shrugging beneath the weight of a wireframe world.

And a picture frame, facing away from me. I suddenly wanted to know whose picture sat in that frame.

Dr. Aretino put his elbows on his desktop and clapped his hands together, the tips of his fingers tapping against each other. "What is it I can do for you, Ragazza D'oro? You look quite concerned. Have you perhaps come to realize the truth?"

I shifted in my seat, instinctively crossing my thighs. This close to him, I could smell the pungent oil he used to keep his thin, dark hair slicked back from his forehead. The glare from the fluorescent tubes in the ceiling dazzled on that shiny expanse of skin over his eyes.

"Dr. Aretino, I'm not changing my answer. I know that for a while, I let my schoolwork slip. I was dealing with some personal things. You must have seen how much I've improved over the past couple weeks alone?"

"Oh, yes, a great deal of improvement," he said.

"Then maybe you can do the right thing and give me the marks we both know I deserve."

Dr. Aretino shook his head, that splotch of light on his forehead shifting back and forth. "Such a pity that you are not willing to do what needs to be done to stay. And just as you are beginning to come into your own here in Rome. Exams are coming soon. I'm sure if you got the chance to take them, you would do quite well. A pity," he said, tsk-ing and clicking his tongue.

"You're going to force me to take matters into my own hands, professor," I said.

A shot of cold fear ran through me when I said that. I could hardly believe that I'd been able to get the words out.

The fear was there, but something else, too. Excitement, exhilaration. Was this how it always felt to stand up for yourself?

I could get used to that.

"I invite you to try," Dr. Aretino said. He waved at the walls, indicating the university as a whole, indicating that he had the faculty on his side. Indicating that he saw nothing I could do against him.

"So you're not going to change your mind?" I said. I wanted this absolutely clear. I couldn't go through with anything without that clarity.

That was why Liam hadn't tried to keep me from this, I knew.

He spread his fingers out and looked at me with the corners of his mouth downturned, as though his hands were tied.

My skin crawled. I'd heard people use that expression before, but never really understood what they meant. Then I did. It had me squirming, had me wanting to run out like Annalisa (Angelina?) had done only a few minutes earlier.

I made myself stay. If you want to catch a rat in a trap, you had to bait it, after all.

"I heard that there's another fundraiser coming up," I said. Did that sound casual enough? I hoped so.

Dr. Aretino smiled, and I realized that he must think that I'd finally begun to bend, finally seen the futility of my resistance. Yes, I definitely needed to see Liam after this. I'd have him wrap his arms around me and hold me until I forgot all about the good professor.

"Yes, there is," he said, "I had almost forgotten about it," Sure you did. He continued, "Perhaps you would allow me to escort you there?"

I made as good a show of it as I could, letting my eyes run across his desk, working my jaw, ending it all with a reluctant sigh, "Yes." Who knew that it could be so difficult to get a single syllable out?

Think of Liam. Think of talking to him. Think of looking into his eyes, I kept repeating.

"Good. Very good," he said, clapping his palms together, "You won't need your dance instructor this time, either. I will email you the details. Is there anything else?"

He seemed so very pleased with himself, as though he saw victory approaching fast. The crawling feeling worsened, and I swallowed against the lump in my throat.

There was one more thing I needed to do before I got out of there. So I smiled, hoping my lips didn't look too bloodless. "You have a great view of the campus!"

"What? Yes, I suppose," he said, standing up as I did.

I slipped between his desk and the bookcase and went up to the window. It actually was a nice view, but I couldn't enjoy it.

"A lovely view, yes," Dr. Aretino said. I could feel him standing behind me.

I counted to five in my head (five seconds never felt more like five minutes in my life) and turned around. I dodged around him, my eyes searching for that picture.

It was a portrait of an older woman. Still pretty, the age just beginning to show in the corners of his eyes. I wondered how Dr. Aretino could sit behind his desk and talk the way he did to his female students with the eyes of that woman watching him the whole time.