My voice is muffled from the towel, where it actually is hard to breathe. “Just tell me when he’s gone.”

“What?” She leans over to hear me better; then her face brightens. “Hi, Levi.” She waves at him.

Don’t call him over, dammit!

“Hey, Jenna.” A pause. Then Levi’s voice rumbles over my back and the hot-pink strings of my swimsuit. “Pixie.”

I turn my face to greet him, keeping my front carefully tucked into the towel.

“Hey, Leaves.” It’s out of my mouth before I can take it back, and he stills at the name. I want to kick myself.

Zack looks at Jenna and slowly pulls off his sunglasses. “Why, hello, beautiful,” he says. “I’m Zack.” He shows off his dimples. “And you are…?”

“Not going to sleep with you,” Jenna quips, grinning right back at him.

His smile widens. “Well played.” He puts his glasses back on, but not before checking out my ass. “And Sarah, as always, it’s so, so good to see you.”

“You’re a pervert,” I say, even though I’d rather walk around naked in front of the whole town than lie here with my scar out in front of Levi.

Zack shrugs. “You’re the one wearing dental floss as a swimsuit—ow!” He rubs his gut where Levi just hit him and glares at his friend. “Relax, dude.”

“Let’s go,” Levi says, moving on without a second glance at me. Zack follows.

I exhale slowly and catch Jenna’s stare.

“What?”

“What is your problem?” She looks my body up and down. “You look like someone glued you to the towel. You’re all rigid and awkward and your arms are at weird angles. What’s the matter with you?”

Once Levi is far away, I turn over and lean back on my elbows like Jenna. Calm, cool, collected. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

She rips off her sunglasses and narrows her gaze at me. Then at my chest. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“What?” I feign innocence.

“You were hiding your scar? From Levi?”

I drop my head back. “You don’t understand.”

“You were marching around all proud and beautiful before he got here and then, what, you’re afraid he won’t like you if he sees your scar? Because let me tell you, any guy who’s worth a shit won’t give a damn about any scar.”

“That’s not—” I sigh, not sure how to explain it to her. “That’s not why I was hiding. My scar makes Levi sad. And I… I don’t want him to be sad.” Oh God, there’s the burning sensation behind my eyes again.

She frowns at me. “So you’re afraid.”

“What?” I turn to her. “I’m not afraid.”

“Sure you are.” She nods. “You’re always afraid. That’s why you’re hiding your scar. That’s why you keep trying to run away.” She shrugs.

“Run awa—what are you even talking about?”

She waves her hands at me. “You want to transfer to New York. You want to move to a different state. You want to hide your scar from the boy you love. You want to hide your feelings from me. You want to pretend.” She goes still. “Because you’re afraid of dealing with things.”

My mouth gapes open. “Jenna.”

“Look.” She sighs and takes her sunglasses off. “I know this thing between you and Levi is uncomfortable and difficult to navigate, but you have to deal with it. Shitty things happen, Sarah. If you keep pretending, all the shittiness is going to poison any chance you have at, hell… I don’t know, moving on? Healing?” She waits until I meet her eyes. “Don’t you want to heal?”

My heart starts to pound. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve already healed. I’m fine.” I swallow, my throat suddenly dry.

“Oh yeah?” she says. “If you’re so healed, why don’t you go over to Levi with your perky boobs and loud-ass scar and chat about the weather?” I glare at her. “Do it, Sarah. You’ve moved on. You’ve healed, right?”

I shake my head and lie flat on my back, angry and ashamed, refusing to respond to her as I close my eyes against the hot July sun.

A moment passes where she doesn’t say anything, but I hear her lie down on her back as well.

She speaks quietly. “I want to help you heal, Sarah. But you have to let me in first.” She hesitates. “Please let me in.”

My eyes burn again, and this time I let the tears come. There aren’t many, and the few that do fall are mostly hidden by my sunglasses as they stream down the corners of my eyes and to my ears.

How can I let Jenna—or anyone—in when there’s a chance they might not stay there forever? I can’t risk attaching myself to someone who could suddenly leave my world indefinitely. I can’t. I won’t.

For a long time we just lie there, listening to the laughter and music filling the air around us as I silently cry. Jenna knows I’m crying. She doesn’t say a word about it. She just lets me weep under the happy sun until my tears are dry and the silence between us feels clean.

When we do speak again, it’s Jenna initiating the conversation and changing the subject to hot dogs and popcorn until our previous conversation feels a hundred miles away.

Jenna’s good at being my friend.

Why can’t I be good at being hers?

Before I know it, the sun is setting and the sticky summer day begins to cool. Jenna and I eventually put our towels away and throw on swimsuit covers as we join in some of the ongoing festivities. I introduce Jenna to some of my high school friends, which feels slightly weird and uncomfortable, but only for a little while. Eventually, I start to feel at home around the people I grew up with, and I relax.

No one has brought up Charity’s name all night. I’m both offended and relieved by this.

“Your delicious friend looks like he’s having a good time.” Jenna tips her chin in Daren’s direction, and I look over to see him slamming another beer before serving a deadly fast volleyball over the net erected by a few beach volleyball enthusiasts.

“Yeah…” I say, as his harem on the sidelines cheers. “He’s a party favorite pretty much everywhere he goes.” He serves again, lifting his arm high in the air as he smashes a second ball over the net.

The cheerleaders start hooting again. Daren tosses them his trademark grin, but his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Huh.

“Excuse me,” says a voice behind us.

Jenna and I turn to see a pretty blonde—strike that, a beautiful blonde—standing in the lake’s parking lot, looking like a lost supermodel, with her tiny cut-off shorts, tight white tank top, and giant blue eyes.

Good God. What must it be like to be that gorgeous?

“Could you guys tell me how to get to the nearest motel?” she asks, her eyes darting to the volleyball game for a moment.

“Sure,” I say. “Just jump back on the freeway and head north for another five miles or so. You’ll see a motel just outside of town on the left.” I smile and hold out my hand. “I’m Sarah, by the way.”

“Kayla,” she says, shaking it.

“And I’m Jenna.” Jenna shakes her hand as well.

“Nice to meet you two.” Kayla smiles.

“Are you heading to Copper Springs to visit family?” I ask.

Her smile tightens. “Something like that.” She clears her throat. “Well, thanks for the directions. Oh, and happy Fourth of July,” she adds, before turning away. Her long blonde hair swishes across her back as she walks through the parking lot, and every single male in the vicinity cranks his head to stare at her as she climbs into a small rental car and drives away.

Jenna looks at me. “I want to be that pretty.”

I nod. “Seriously.”

When the first stars of evening begin to twinkle in the heavens, I step away from Jenna—who’s been on the phone with Jack for the past twenty minutes—and find a quiet spot away from the raging bonfire on the lakeshore.