Next to Bam is a small heart shaped headstone that reads ‘Mia Low Gavelson You will be in our hearts forever. Love, Mommy & Daddy.’

My chest clinches so tight I can’t breathe and my throat constricts like a noose. My eyes go blurry from the tears that are unstoppably flowing down my face to the ground. Everything around me is spinning, like I’m falling down Alice’s rabbit hole and it’s engulfing me. G.T.’s warmth meets me on the ground and he pulls me into his lap rocking me back and forth.

“Breathe, Angel.” He whispers in my ear, but my mind isn’t listening. A soft hand lands on my shoulder and squeezes, but I don’t dare turn away from the stone in front of me.

The hand on my shoulder doesn’t move, but words are said in my ear. “We all wanted you two to have a place to talk to Mia.” I turn to Harlow at her words; tears are streaming down her face. I pull out of G.T.’s arms and wrap them around Harlow as tight as I can and pull her down to me.

I sob as she rubs her hand up and down my back. I look over my shoulder at the stone not believing that she did this for me… For us. “Thank you.” I choke out as best I can. I look over at G.T. his eyes are red and his hand keeps batting away tears. I release Harlow. “I love you.” I whisper looking into her eyes.

“Love you too.” She says kissing me on the cheek. I move quickly over to G.T. He’s sitting with his knees propped up and his arms resting on them. I wrap my arms around his chest and pull him tight to me. His face plunges into my neck and he silently shakes in my arms, tears rolling down my neck. I rub his back up and down, not knowing what to say. The shock of what just happened is keeping me weighted down.

A throat clearing causes me to look up into the eyes of a man that I hate seeing. Not because of who he is, just for the mere fact that every time I do, someone has died. “I’d like to say a few words if that’s okay.” The pastor asks and G.T. pulls away from me looking up at him. He wipes his face and turns to me. I give him a small nod.

“That’d be fine.” G.T.’s voice strangles to get out. When G.T. tries to stand, the pastor stops him.

“Please, stay where you are.” G.T. falls back to the ground and wraps his arms around me pulling me tight.

I sit listening to the words flow out of the pastor’s mouth, each one as sweet as the next. He does the sign of the cross and says amen. He steps over to G.T. and sits down in front of us. “Mia will always be in your hearts to love and cherish. Bless you both.”

I sit there staring, not knowing what to say and G.T. must feel the same because no words are coming out of this tough guy’s mouth and I can’t blame him at all. The pastor rests his hands on our shoulders and leaves. I pull away from G.T. “I don’t know what to say.” I tell him honestly.

“Nothing to say. We love her and our family gave us one of the greatest gifts they could.” He picks up my hand and kisses it. He pulls his shirt up from the hem and wipes his face with it, standing up. I follow suit but do it a bit more discreetly. He holds out his hand and for the first time, I turn around.

I heard all the bikes, but nothing prepared me for this sight. Hundreds of brothers and ol’ ladies and even friends stand behind us in solidarity. G.T. squeezes my hand and intertwines our fingers. Words are caught in my mouth and I’m relieved when G.T. speaks for the both of us.

“Thank you all. This means more to us than you’ll ever know.” He looks down at the ground.

Harlow comes up before us. “We wanted Mia to be by her grandpa so he could watch over her.” I look down at the ground tears pooling in my eyes and shake my head. “Casey.”

I look up at Harlow. “See all of these people here?” I nod. “They love you. We are here because you are our family. We will do anything and everything for you, no matter what.” And for the first time in my life, I truly believe it.

The ride back to the clubhouse is quiet and somber. I kiss Angel’s hand and lay it on my lap needing to feel her closeness and comfort. What our family did for us, I can never repay. And for once, I’m actually at a loss for words. Seeing brothers from chapters all around standing in unison with Pops in front, choked me up to say the least and I tried my damnedest not to shed tears, but couldn’t stop it. It’s times like these that we really remember who has your back. Everyone can be around when shit is good, it’s the tough times when you know, who you can depend on. And I… we can depend on our brothers and family.

When Ma hugged me at the cemetery, I clutched on to her for dear life. She’s always been my rock no matter what stupid decisions I’ve made in life. But the words she whispered in my ear ring through my head. “You keep this one G.T. This woman is your forever.” Ma’s always into that mushy shit, but this time she is completely right. Angel is my forever and I’ll show her, every damn day.

“We have a party planned when we get back, but if you two want to take a breather and go lay down for a bit, go ahead.” Princess says from the front seat. Angel didn’t even balk this time about Cruz driving; she curled up in the backseat without a word resting her head on my shoulder.

“A big one?” Angel asks her voice raspy.

“Yeah. We wanted to celebrate Mia.” Princess looks back at Angel. “I hope that’s okay.” The reluctance in Princess is a fresh change of pace. I love my sister, but hearing the apprehension in her voice tells me that she wants Casey comfortable and to me that means a lot.

“It’s fine, but I need to lie down for a bit and get myself together.”

“Of course.”

“Harlow?” Angel’s voice quivers.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. What you did for us.” She stops and breathes. “Dammit, I need to stop crying.” She blows some more and I squeeze her hand. “I love you so much, sister.”

“Love you too.” Princess turns away quickly her hands coming up to her face, my tough ass sister not wanting to show her tears.

“Yo sis.” I bellow.

“Yeah.” Her voice breaks.

“Love you.” I say and her head drops to her chest. Her shoulders move up and down silently. I reach over the chair and squeeze her shoulder. Her hand instantly comes up and covers mine squeezing back.

I watch Angel sleep, her face is still red from the taxing morning we just had. We’ve been lying in here for the past few hours, but I can’t sleep. I tried my damnedest, but just keep pulling my woman closer to feel her warmth and feel her heart beat on my chest.

I lay here thinking about the decisions that Casey made, and while I may not agree, I do forgive her. I love her and it’s time to officially let go of the anger and strip it away from me… From us. I’ll remember Mia every day and what could have been, but no more anger.

The music is thumping so loud its penetrating the walls. I’m surprised that sleeping beauty here hasn’t woken up in my arms yet. It’s been going on now for a few hours, but luckily it’s still early in the day so when we get there, it won’t be out of hand… Yet, it is after all a celebration.

Angel’s body moves, her eyes flash up to mine. “Hey.” She says her voice hoarse.

“Hey. You alright?” I brush the loose hair away from her eyes and she smiles.

“Yeah. I think I really am. I can’t believe they did that for us.” She digs her head into my chest pulling me to her.

I sigh and squeeze her, “me either.”

“I’m so sorry, G.T.” Her head burrows deeper in my chest. “For everything.”

“Look at me.” I demand and she stills, slowly turning her head to me. “No more. It’s done. Understand?” She doesn’t move. “Angel, what’s done is done. We move on and live.” The air I didn’t realize she was holding escapes her body.

“How can you say that? After everything I did.”