When his eyes met mine, my heart broke. He had been crying, his face a tangled mess of runny tears and puffy eyes. Lifting the window, I asked, “Deke, what’s wrong?”

“Jaxson’s dead. I killed him.”

“What?”

“He’s gone.”

“Hang on.”

Throwing some clothes on, I motioned for him to climb through the window. He did so without a word.

“What happened?” Deke sat next to me on the bed and began telling me the horrible details of his brother’s death. I listened to every word that came out of his mouth, wondering the entire time why he chose to come to me.

“I’m assuming that you’ve seen him since you’ve been back.” Grams began stirring the large pot on the stove.

“Yep. At Sully’s. He … he kissed me goodbye.”

“Huh?”

“He realized it was me, grabbed my head, kissed me, and said, ‘Goodbye Vann.’ Then turned around and left,” I said waving my hand in the air.

“Well, he’s up on the dramatics isn’t he?”

“It wasn’t fun.”

“I bet it wasn’t. But now is time to pull up your big girl panties.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Pull them up. No use in doing that pity shit.” Grams turned and stared in my eyes. No more trying. This happened a couple days ago right?” I nodded. “That’s enough time for the pity train. Think back to your books. What would Mara or Keely do if this were them?”

“Grams, those are fictional characters who pop in my head,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“But real to you. You need to decide if you want to fight for him or let it go. Do one or the other.”

“He doesn’t want me, so I’m thinking the choice is pretty clear.”

“You think a man goes through a display like that and doesn’t want you? I’m willing to bet it’s the opposite and seeing you again flared that spark.”

“Grams, you are seriously wrong on this. You didn’t see the look in his eyes.”

“It was hurt. Look Vann, your mom took you away. It hurt all of us, but you couldn’t do anything about it. It was what had to happen at the time. If he doesn’t want to take the time to find out the whats and whys, then that’s his loss and you need to move on.”

“I know.” Even though it sucked.

Grams came over, placing her hand on mine. “My girl, life happens, and it happens fast. You have to figure out what you want and go for it. You never know if it will be there tomorrow.”

I stared into Grams’s eyes and smiled.

“All right, let’s get this done. Keith and his clan will be here soon.”

“Okay.” Grams was right. If he was done, then it was done.

“Keith, my boy, get in here!” Grams yelled from the kitchen. “It’s show time,” she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind her. I hadn’t seen Uncle Keith or any of his family in more than five years. Mom didn’t get along with him, which meant that I didn’t get to see him, except at the family dinners that Grams had.

“Oh. My. God!” a feminine voice screeched from the hallway. “Savannah!”

“Hi, Aunt Mary.” She was wrapping me in a tight bear hug before I got all the words out.

“Let me look at you.” Holding me out at arm’s length, she examined me from head to toe. I could feel my face blushing. I wasn’t shy by any means, but this was a bit too much. “You are so beautiful,” she mused.

“Thanks.” Aunt Mary stood there for what seemed like ages just smiling at me, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. With her short, dark brown hair, cut around her face, her large brown eyes were piercing me.

“Hi.” Uncle Keith’s deep baritone voice broke through my panic. Letting go of Aunt Mary, I moved over to him.

Trying to wrap my arms around him was a bit harder. He was much larger and built like a linebacker. I don’t remember him being like this before. His blue eyes and short brown hair were the same, but his broad shoulders were new. He was very handsome.

“Hi Uncle Keith.” I tried to not let my shyness come through in my voice, but I heard it. I hadn’t seen him in so long; I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of me.

“How are you baby girl?” His voice was deep and calm.

I looked up into his eyes and saw warmth and acceptance. “I’m doing great. Glad to be home.”

“We are so happy to have you here. We missed you so much.” At his words, I actually believed him.

“Me too,” I whispered.

Meeting his family was awkward to say the least, but it was nice to be around family.

Movement caught my eye. Turning toward it, I felt my mouth drop. Z was standing in the doorway with a huge grin on his face. His dark brown hair cut close to the sides, but was a bit wild on the top. His upper body was covered in a white t-shirt that stretched across his broad, muscular shoulders. His gray eyes met mine. “What are you doing here?” I asked, still in a state of shock.

“Hey Vann,” was all he said as he swooped in to give me a hug.

“You two know each other?” Uncle Keith boomed from behind us sounding a bit accusatory.

Z let me go. “Umm … we met the other night. Right, Z?” I didn’t know why I felt so nervous all of the sudden. It just all seemed too strange.

“Yeah, Uncle Keith. Vann’s an old friend of Deke’s. I saw her at Sully’s the other night.” Z crossed his arms over his chest, stretching his t-shirt tighter.

“You didn’t answer my question. Why is Z here?” My clipped voice caught Grams’s attention. I knew I was treading a thin line and Grams didn’t think twice to call me out on it.

“Savannah,” she snapped. Making eye contact with her, I stopped collecting my thoughts. I knew I shouldn’t be upset, but he was just another painful reminder of Deke. “Zander is Mary’s nephew, and he came to live with them right after you left town. He is part of this family.”

“I apologize. I guess it just caught me off guard, that’s all,” I murmured quietly.

“Vann, it’s cool. I thought for sure we were coming to see you when Uncle Keith kept telling us all we were meeting Savannah. I had to see it to believe it. I can’t believe we’re cousins.” He smirked.

“In a way, I guess.” I wanted to yell, not by blood, but kept my thoughts to myself.

“Look, just ‘cause Deke’s my best friend doesn’t mean there needs to be bad blood between us.” Z’s eyes softened.

“It’s fine. No worries,” I said on an exhale.

“Great! Come here, cuz.” Z pulled me into a huge bear hug, which I reciprocated.

“Let’s eat!” Grams yelled from the dining room.

Dinner went by fairly smooth. Z made no mention of Deke, which put me at ease. I thought for sure he would ask me about him, and I didn’t want to talk about it, especially in front of my newly acquainted family. I did learn that he’s on the police force, a fact I will keep near and dear to me.

I also learned all about Kate and Ben—where they went to school, what their plans were, and every single sports or extracurricular activity they were a part of. It was actually nice getting to know everyone.

The only negative of the night came when Uncle Keith asked about Mom. I was very vague with my answers, knowing full well that he really didn’t like her. They may be blood, but that was about all they were to one another. I was already at odds with her so adding fuel to the fire just wasn’t worth it.

After getting all the dishes cleaned up, I needed a break. This entire evening was a bit overwhelming, which was how I ended up sitting under Grams’s old oak tree in the backyard.

The night sky turned a beautiful navy blue. The stars were bright, and I loved being able to actually see them. In Cali, there were so many lights everywhere it was difficult to see the stars.

I heard his feet rustling through the grass before I actually saw him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Z sat next to me under the tree, picking a blade of grass before he began to twirl it in his hand. I sat there quietly.