“On whose side?”

I meet his gaze, wondering if he knows the stuff my mother refuses to tell me. Maybe he’s in on whatever it is too. “My mother.”

He swiftly shakes his head. “I’m on no one’s side, Maddie. All I’m here for is to help you.”

“But you talk to her all the time, right? About me? Which isn’t allowed.”

“Yeah, I do, but for a good reason.”

“You know that doesn’t help with the trust factor, Preston,” I point out, crossing my legs. “You say everything here is confidential, but you talk to my mother about me, which is wrong.” I wonder if he knows about the accident and that I was doped up when it happened. I wonder if he knows about Lily, my supposed sister. I wonder if he knows about my entrapment with the crazy man.

“I’m not breaking any trust by talking to your mother. You signed a release form so I could,” he says evenly, collecting a stack of papers and shoving them out of the way so he can rest his elbows on the desk. “I would never do anything behind your back or against you.”

“I never signed a release form,” I argue, shaking my head in protest. “I would remember if I did.”

“Yes, you did,” he says, reeling his chair around. He opens up the filing cabinet that’s behind his desk and retrieves a folder with my name on it. Dropping it on the desk, he opens it up and takes out a paper. “Back when we started these sessions.” He slides the paper across the desk at me.

I stare down at the paper that definitely has my signature, yet I can’t remember signing it. There’s no date on it either to remind me. I drag my fingers down my face. “Well, I didn’t know what I was signing.”

“I explained it to you and you understood it then,” he explains. “You even agreed it was a good idea.”

“If that’s the case, then why is this the first time I can remember hearing anything about this?” I skim read over the paper that specifically explains he’s allowed to talk to my mother about the things that go on in here with me. I clutch the paper in my hand, crinkle the corners. “I would never sign this. I know I wouldn’t.”

“It was for your own benefit,” Preston explains as if he truly believes it. “Back when we started these sessions, you were really struggling with simple tasks, like picking out outfits for yourself or writing your name down. It was for the best that you and your mother could talk about your progress so she could help you while you were at home.”

Shaking my head, I tear up the paper, not once, twice, but into tiny pieces then drop them to the floor like confetti. He stares down at the shreds of paper, scattered all over his desk and the floor. I expect him to get cross and call me out on my temper tantrum, but instead he says, in a very composed voice, “How about we get started with our session for today?”

I don’t answer, but I don’t leave the office either, so he takes that as a yes.

“Do you want to tell me why you haven’t been sleeping very well?” he asks, folding his arms and resting them on top of the folder. It makes me wonder what else he has in there? What else I’ve signed without knowing.

“Who says I haven’t been sleeping very well?” My eyes are fixated on the folder.

“You look exhausted, Maddie,” he says, sliding the folder off to the side, out of my line of vision.

I need to get a hold of it.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lily appears behind Preston. She’s grinning, in her blond form, piercings, happy. God, I’d forgotten what happy looked like.

She puts her finger to her lips then traces her fingers through his blond hair, Preston completely oblivious to the factor. “You need to get a hold of that folder, Maddie.” She leans over Preston’s shoulder, her hands wandering to the front of his neck. “Even I’m curious what the ken doll has in there.” She’s almost strangling him, her hands resting just at the base of his neck, eyes sparkling with need. “You know, you could always hit him over the head, knock him unconscious, and search his office. God knows what you’d find.” She cocks her head to the side, her fingertips digging into his skin. “Or you could just let me strangle him. Either way works for me.”

I consider what she said. Me, Maddie, hurting Preston… it feels easier to do than it did a few weeks ago.

“Maddie, did you hear me?” Preston’s giving me that look that lets me know I’ve dazed off.

I shake my head, blinking my eyes several times in order to focus on him, Lily is still behind him, giggling and watching me with amusement. “No, not really.”

He releases an exhausted breath, leaning forward in his chair, causing Lily’s fingers to fall from his neck. “I asked you if you wanted to tell me why you haven’t been sleeping very well.”

“I’ve already told you that I’ve been sleeping just fine.” I deliberate my next words as Lily wanders around his office. “But can I ask you a question?”

“You know you can ask me anything,” he says seriously and Lily rolls her eyes as she skims through folders.

“Wow, I’m beginning to prefer even River over this idiot,” she says, tipping her head to the side as she stares at the filing cabinet, putting her finger to her lips.

“When someone isn’t sleeping very well is it normal for them to… I don’t know… see things that aren’t there?” I ask Preston, my gaze skimming back and forth between Lily and him.

“Have you been seeing things?” he asks interestedly, overlapping his fingers and resting his hands on the desk.

“No… but I’m wondering if it’s possible.”

He sighs. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth.”

I’m trying to figure out where to go from here. I don’t trust him, yet I want answers. “Sometimes I do, but it’s nothing major,” I say and Lily smiles at me, laughing under her breath. “And I’ve been really tired lately.”

He picks up a pen to jot some notes down on his legal pad. “What sort of things have you been seeing?”

I press my lips together and shake my head. “No details. I’ve said enough.”

“Maddie, I can’t—”

“Preston, it’s all I can give you right now,” I say as Lily waves and then fades away into the sunlight. “So if you want to answer me then go head, if not, then drop it.”

He taps the pen on the desk, thinking over what I said carefully. “Insomnia can cause hallucinations, but other things can, too, as well.”

“Like what?”

“Lots of things. There are a ton of mental disorders that can cause people to see things that don’t exist.” He pauses and his penetrating gaze makes me squirm. “If you aren’t sleeping well, then I can give you some sleeping pills to help with it.”

“No.” I practically shout and then quickly lower my voice. “No pills. I hate pills.”

He sets the pen on the desk. “Since when?”

“Since now,” I say then add, “Since I found out that I had rufi’s in my system that night of the accident.”

He stares at me quizzically. “Where did you hear that?”

“Not from you or my mother,” I say bitterly. “But I’m guessing you both knew about it.”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” He shakes his head, baffled. “Maybe if you told me where you heard it from, I could figure out what you were talking about.”

“A cop told me.”

Either Preston really doesn’t know what I’m talking about or he’s a damn good liar, because he maintains his sheer perplexity. “I’m shocked… this is the first time that I’m hearing about this... But if what you say’s true, then I need to look into it.”

I’m not buying it. “Sure you will.”

He frowns and then we fall right back into our rhythm. The one where we play cat and mouse, although I’m not exactly sure who’s the cat and who’s the mouse anymore. The game goes on and on, me being evasive and him desperately trying to crack me open. And when he eventually gets tired of it, he suggests we jump in to some more hypnotherapy.

“I’m really not in the mood,” I say after he suggests it, but still get up and wander over to the chair because deep down I’m curious what I’ll see. All these memories are resurfacing and maybe if I see enough, I can figure out the entire thing—my entire past.