He’d thought about it earlier and now the idea had slid into his head like a puck gliding into the net, and before he’d even had time to think about it, he’d said it. He wanted Remi to live with him.

She stared at him. “What?”

“You could move in with me.” He reached for her hand. “I want you to live with me.”

She moved her head slowly from side to side, pretty lips parted. “But we hardly know each other. We can’t move in together.”

“We know each other,” he said, stroking his thumb across the back of her hand. “I love you, Remi. I want to live with you.”

“Are you crazy?”

He remembered the last time they’d had a conversation like this and how heated and angry her question had been. This time her voice was soft, wondering. He grinned. “No, I mean it.”

“Wow.” She blinked at him. “That’s a pretty serious step for a guy who just wants to have fun.”

“It would be fun living with you,” he said. “I know it.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Jason, there’s more to it than that.”

“I know. I actually thought of it this morning, how much easier everything would be if we lived together. Just think about it. Maybe this thing with Jasmine will blow over. There’s no rush. But you know…even if you don’t have to sell the house…think about it.”

She nodded, her eyes a little dazed. “Okay.”

“Let’s order pizza. I’m starving.”

It took Brianne a week.

She showed up at his apartment the next Saturday, grim-faced and pissed. “Here,” she said, shoving a paper into his hand. “Nine weeks. Now do you believe me?”

He stared down at the note on official medical stationery. It looked…real.

His stomach heaved, his mouthed filled with saliva and he swallowed repeatedly. He could not puke. He could not puke.

“And I brought this too,” she snapped, pulling a plastic baggie out of her purse. She handed it to him too. He looked at the plastic stick inside. “That’s the pregnancy test I took. For the third damn time.” Her lips tightened into a thin line. She glared at him.

He wiped his mouth. The silence stretched out, long and thick.

A million questions backed up in his brain. He closed his eyes.

Jesus. A baby. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“What are you doing to do?” He sounded like his voice was coming from far away, echoing in his ears.

“I’m…I’m going to have the baby.”

He squeezed his eyes closed. He’d never been someone who believed in abortion but he’d also always believed in a woman’s right to choose. Because they were the ones who got pregnant. But at that moment, he had to ask, why, why she would do that when her career and his life would be so hugely impacted by this.

But he knew why. It was a baby. Their baby.

Jesus Christ. How could this have happened?

How could he be a father? He felt like a kid himself. And what was he supposed to do about Brianne? They’d broken up. He didn’t love her. But she was going to be the mother of his child.

Nausea rolled again. He fought it down and looked at Brianne standing there, arms folded across her chest, hip cocked.

He had to ask it. “What do you want from me, Brianne?”

Her face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears. “You know what I want.”

Did she want them to get back together? To try to make something work for the sake of their child? The questions ricocheted around inside him, but he was a coward, too afraid to speak them aloud in case she said yes, that’s what she wanted.

Remi.

Oh, Christ, Remi. How was he going to tell Remi about this?

He’d just asked her to move in with him.

The idea of hurting her sliced through him with such a sharp, jagged pain he made a noise. He cleared his throat, glancing at Brianne. She watched him with sad, glossy eyes and a shaky mouth.

He turned and walked into his living room, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Neither do I.” She followed him and perched on the edge of his couch. He lowered himself into a chair.

“D’you…do you want us to get back together?”

She blinked at him. “I still love you, Jase. You know I do.”

Fuck. That was not what he wanted to hear. That jagged pain inside him intensified.

“I don’t know if I can do this on my own, Jase.”

He moved his head slowly up and down. He got that. He wasn’t sure if he could do it either. A baby! Christ!

He leaned his head back, trying to imagine his life with a child. With Brianne. Terror clawed at him, long talons dragging through his intestines, panic bubbling up inside him with that familiar feeling of being caged, trapped, noosed.

Like marriage, he’d always figured parenthood would come someday. He wasn’t a confirmed bachelor, sworn to stay single forever. Nah. His parents had created a great family and he wanted that too. Someday. Some very far-distant day.

A son to teach how to play hockey.

Maybe a girl. But girls could play hockey too.

But not now. Not now. Not now.

He lifted his head and looked at Brianne.

“I can’t do it alone,” she whispered. “I need you, Jase.”

She held out a hand.

He ached. He hesitated. But the despair and pleading in her eyes tugged at something inside him. They’d done this together. Created a baby together. He rose up, walked over to her and sat down beside her. She turned into him and he hugged her, holding her against him, her face pressed to his chest, his cheek to her hair.

Guilt weighted heavy on his shoulders—a feeling like he was cheating on Remi. But Brianne needed him. Man, did she need him. More than he wanted to be needed and a battle raged inside him over who he owed more to, over what he was supposed to do, over whether he had it in him to do the right thing—or whether he had it in him to even know what the right thing was.

His life was so fucked up.

Remi looked at her watch again. Seven o’clock and Jason still hadn’t called. She’d assumed they would spend the evening together, as they had been lately. Where was he?

She rubbed her neck and shoulders. She’d spent the afternoon grading papers and planning a big class project she was going to get the kids working on next week. Her mind kept veering off, though, thinking about selling the house, thinking about moving in with Jason… Pinwheels spun in her tummy every time she thought about that. God. Live with Jason. Could she do it?

She was in love with him, wanted to be with him. But how hypocritical was it of her to tell Jasmine she shouldn’t buy a house with Ethan and then move in with a man she’d only known a few weeks? She pressed her fingers between her eyes where tiny hammers had started thumping.

She got up from the kitchen table where she’d been working and stretched, then sighed. Maybe she should call Jason and see what had happened to him. She hoped everything was okay.

Her heart stuttered. Maybe he’d been hurt in practice that morning. God. He could be sitting in a hospital right now.

She punched in his cell phone number. Waited. “The cellular customer you are calling is not available.”

She looked at her phone with a frown. He had his cell phone off? That was unusual. She called the number at his apartment, but it rang and then went to voice mail.

Should she leave a message? Sure, why not. “Hi Jase, it’s me. It’s just after seven, just wondering what happened to you. If you get this, give me a call and let me know you’re okay. Bye.”

She hoped that sounded casual enough.

She walked to the front window to look out on the dark street, as if Jason might just drive up at any minute. What if he regretted making that impulsive offer of moving in together? Was he avoiding her? She rolled her eyes. Even if he did have second thoughts, surely he was mature enough to just tell her. She could take it. All he had to say was, “Hey, let’s not rush things” and she’d be fine. She didn’t want to rush things either.