“Hey,” I said, coming up behind Jeff and grabbing his arm. “Have you seen Julia?”

“Hey, toolbag,” he said, putting out his hand.

He started doing the stupid handshake he made up for us in the fourth grade. I humored him and forced my hand through the motions.

“Where’s Jessica?” he asked me, ignoring my question.

“She’s in the living room,” I said. “Is Julia here yet?”

“Haven’t seen her,” he said, pushing past me and making his way toward the back of the house.

I took another glance around the room before ambling back toward the kitchen.

I got two drinks and then ventured back to the living room, where Jeff was already propped up beside Jessica, flapping his jaw. I saw him drawing the outline of a mountain with his hand, and I knew right away he was telling her the story of when he climbed some mountain in Colorado two summers ago. Jessica had that same look every girl had when Jeff was talking to her. I really hoped she wanted to come to this party as bad as Jeff said she had. If not, I really was going to have at least two girls hating me by the end of the night.

I walked over to the two of them and handed Jessica her drink.

She looked up at me, smiled and took the glass.

“Here,” she said, “sit down. Jeff is telling me about his summer at Estes Park.”

Her hand patted a small space on the couch beside her.

I stared for a couple of seconds at the spot where her hand had just been. Then, I looked up and caught Jeff’s bugged-out eyes. I was pretty sure he was silently telling me to just do something, so that he could get on with his story. So, after a few more seconds, I reluctantly fell into the couch next to her.

“Estes Park, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah, Will hates this story,” Jeff nonchalantly said and then went back to flapping his jaw.

Jessica knowingly glanced at me and smiled.

I laughed once and took a drink from my cup. I was nervous, but I played it off by sneering at Jeff. He paused for a second but then continued.

I took another drink from my cup. I didn’t know if it were the sound of Jeff’s unending story or the thought that Julia could come waltzing into the room at any moment that was making me claustrophobic. Someone had to go.

I motioned for Jessica to trade me my cup for her glass. She obliged without much nudging.

“Hey, Jeff, I think Jessica needs another drink,” I said. “Can we put your story on hold for a minute?”

Jeff stopped talking just long enough to eye Jessica’s cup.

“I got it,” he said, snatching the cup from Jessica’s hand and shooting up.”

“No, it’s okay…,” she started and then stopped when she caught a glimpse of my shaking head. “Okay, thanks,” she said instead and smiled.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Save my seat.”

I watched as Jeff disappeared behind a group of people hovering around the doorway. Then, I looked back at Jessica to find her questioning stare.

“He likes getting girls drinks, believe me,” I said, thinking of a way to move to a spot on the armrest of the couch without making it too awkward. “And he’s a little wound for sound — his own, that is.”

I glanced at the armrest and then back at her. I felt the anxious smile still glued to my lips. I wondered if she could see it too.

“Besides, I don’t know about you, but I needed to get out of the Colorado wilderness for a second,” I said.

Jessica laughed and then rested her hand on mine. I flinched slightly, as my eyes darted to her hand.

“You’re my hero,” she said, playfully tossing her long, brown hair behind her shoulder.

Her hand was soft and kind, but it wasn’t Jules’s hand. What the hell was I doing?

I awkwardly smiled. I wanted to pull my hand back, but I couldn’t. I had already brought her to this party as a decoy for the girl I really wanted to bring; I had subjected her to Jeff’s loathsome hiking story; and if I took my hand back now, I would surely be the jerk I was turning out to be after all. I just couldn’t bring myself to embarrass her.

“Jeff said that you are getting your paramedic’s license and that you want to be a firefighter,” I heard her say, as if her voice were coming from some distant world.

My eyes were temporarily locked on our hands.

“Uh, yeah, I am,” I managed to get out, as I forced my gaze instead to her face. “I’m a, it’s a…”

“My uncle is a firefighter,” she said, saving me again from my stumbling tongue. “It’s a tough job, but it’s really honorable.”

She slid her fingers around mine as she spoke, and suddenly, the room’s temperature rose another ten degrees — as if it weren’t already as hot as hell in the small room. I habitually pulled at the collar of my shirt.

“I mean, it’s super dangerous,” she continued. “My uncle has been trapped in a burning building and…”

She kept talking as I searched the room for Jeff. What was taking him so long? Now, all of a sudden, his stupid mountain story didn’t sound all that bad. At least, it had distracted Jessica. And damn it, this dumb plan of his would surely be the end of me if Julia was to walk…

My thoughts stopped then. And my eyes came to rest on a thin blonde in a short, black dress, standing in the doorway. I met the blonde’s fiery, green eyes as the words from the girl beside me quickly turned to mush before they reached my ears. Then, the blonde softly smiled and bit her bottom lip. She always did that when she was nervous.

God, she’s beautiful.

I watched Jules take a step and then stop. Then, all of a sudden, her face went blank, and her eyes fell fast to the hardwood floor. I held my gaze on her, until her own eyes returned to mine seconds later. But she wasn’t smiling anymore. In fact, now, her green eyes had turned sad. My heart sank as I remembered Jessica’s hand still wrapped up in mine. I tried to pull my hand back, but it was numb. I couldn’t move. I could hardly breathe.

God, what have I done?

I looked back up at Jules, and for a second, it looked as if she were going to run. No, don’t run. Yes. Run. Let’s both run. Let’s get out of here together.

Instead, she took a step toward us, and then another, until she was standing in front of Jessica and me.

“Hey,” Jules said, softly. “How have you been?”

I looked up at her, into her eyes. I felt as if I were dreaming. I wished I were dreaming. I expected her to be here. I wanted her to be here, but now, everything just felt wrong. It was all wrong.

“I’ve been good,” I said, slowly nodding my head.

They were the only words I had, but it wasn’t completely a lie. I felt good, compared to how I was going to feel after she slapped me across my face and told me that she never wanted to see me again. And how could I blame her? Yeah, we weren’t together. But what did that really mean for two people who weren’t meant to be apart?

“That’s great,” she said.

There was a smile on her face, but it wasn’t a good one. I had seen that smile before. It wasn’t one of my favorites.

“So, did you go to Will’s high school?” Jessica suddenly interjected.

Then, it all hit me like a massive wave to the chest. Sometime in the last few minutes, Jessica had stopped telling me about her uncle, the firefighter; Julia had found me in the living room, sitting too close to Jessica; and my hand had become even more intertwined with the brunette’s.

My eyes fell onto Jessica’s face for the first time since Julia had entered the room. Her focus was on Julia, and I followed her eyes back to the blonde.

Please, Julia, keep it short. Make this end. Please make this end quickly.

“Yes,” Julia finally said. “I did. I went to New Milford.”

I let out a deep sigh. Thank you, Jules.

“Julia,” a voice suddenly called out from behind her.

It was Rachel. She had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, out from the swaying heads and idle bodies in the other room.